No matter how old I get, being away from home for any holiday makes me a little homesick. My children’s birthdays are no different.

Although we are lucky enough to have some family members who are able to travel to us for some occasions, not having the big extended family birthday parties I grew up with pulls at my heart strings a little bit.  I do not want to have my sweet kiddos miss out on anything because of the path we chose to live.

And that is this always changing, hurry up and wait military life. Being so far away from family, happy celebrations are always a little bitter sweet and tend to feel like something is missing.

This year we planned a very last minute “Big Boy” Bowling party for our son. My husband was waiting on TAD orders around the big birthday (of course!) and I couldn’t get a range of dates from him to actually plan the party ahead of time. So with one week notice, we decided to plan a slightly over the top party at our local bowling alley.

With a pending work trip, the possibility of the solo parent gig and family in town, having a get-together outside of my home seemed ideal. Show up, have fun and leave.

Easy right?

Hosting 13 kids all under age 5 was slightly chaotic, I will admit. But as we gathered to sing Happy Birthday to my son I realized how many wonderful people came out to celebrate his big day with us and just how blessed we are to have this support network.

The smile on my son's face as he watched his friend’s sing to him was priceless. It made all of the chaos of the day and last minute prep worth it. My friends chose to spend their day of precious family time with us, celebrating my lovable little man.

One friend had just returned home from a deployment and the family was still transitioning to being a family again. Another family was awaiting the very close homecoming of her Marine from Afghanistan. One friend was rocking the solo parent thing with her four kiddos. Not to mention the multiple new babies in the group.

And it was after church on a Sunday during football. Huge deal! I was so humbled and grateful at that moment that so many people would spend their time with us. 

My kiddos may miss their extended family but they will never lack in love and support in their lives. No matter where we go in this crazy military world of ours, we will never be alone. There will always be someone who understands what it is like to throw a birthday party without your family nearby. To have your husband away on your anniversary year after year. To deliver your child away from family. To go through deployments back to back. To move every two years. To sit in the ER with a sick child by yourself. There is always another military family who understands.

Although there were some very important family missing from our celebration today, we found joy.  We are surrounded by people who have become our family  and I feel so grateful for that.  

Once again, our Marine Corps family steps in whenever we need it.

Today is day number one of this, “let’s live apart for 8 months while we fight for our foster daughter” thing we’re going through. It sucks. It’s hard. It feels like someone sucked the light out of my little world, and even worse, it’s raining. How cliché is that? But after all the times he’s left, I just feel numb to it all.

I always give myself one “wallow day” when he leaves for an extended time. I let myself eat whatever the heck I want, I watch horrid movies, and don’t put on makeup. Basically I feel whatever needs to be “felt” so I can get up tomorrow like the butt-kicking army wife I am. Of course, when you have five kids at home, “wallow day” looks a lot like laundry day. Regardless, today just kind of … well … sucks.

I’m cranky, and a little numb, and generally assessing the status of our life, and yet, within 12 hours of him leaving, I heard my first, “Well, at least he’s not being shot at.”

So. Not. Helpful.

This is not a deployment. Deployments are soul-sucking wretches where fear is your constant companion. This is most definitely not that. But this hardship demands to be felt as well. It might not be the fear of never seeing Jason again, but it’s a different kind – the kind that we’re giving up our dwell time before the next deployment. My fears aren’t that he won’t come home, they’re so much broader than that.

He hasn’t even been home 9 months. Am I even used to him being here? When we’re finally together, whole as a family, will he immediately deploy? Will we both be too set in our independent ways? What if this is the only time we would have had together? What if it’s all for nothing? No, this is not a deployment – it’s another beast entirely, and reminding me that his physical safety isn’t at risk. Well, that’s not making me feel better.

As military spouses, we endure separations and hardships that civilian families do not. While this makes us stronger, maybe it also makes us more callous, less able to sympathize because our empathy has been so abraded that we only think in worst-case scenarios. Our pain tolerance is fearfully, stoically high. But maybe what we’re losing is the ability to see that while something may not reach a ten on our pain-scale, it’s sure up there on someone else’s.  

Every spouse is going to hit a day one of something they’ve dreaded. Maybe it’s a TDY that hits over a birthday or a holiday. Maybe it’s a hardship tour, or even a deployment. Chances are, if you’ve been around the military long enough, you’ve had it worse than someone else. But that doesn’t mean that what they’re going through isn’t valid, isn’t increasing their pain tolerance.

Perhaps, in the walls we’ve built, we’ve lost a little perspective. Heck, I know that I have. When my sister’s husband went away on business for two weeks, I had little to no sympathy besides to raise my eyebrows and think, “welcome to the slightest taste of my world.” Was that the right response? Heck no. But I’ve grown so accustomed to going a year without Jason that two weeks seemed like a pinprick next to open heart surgery. Maybe that’s just what happened to me.

We’ve been through much worse. We’ve endured four deployments, one of which sent him home seriously wounded. We’ve been through times where our only communication came on MRE post cards sent from the Iraq/Syria border. We’ve been through solo PCS’s and too many tough re-integrations. But that doesn’t lessen the utter crappiness of what this is now – our choice.

Yes, Jason is gone, and we’re now living separately, fighting for the smidgeon of a chance to keep our family whole. No, it’s not fun. Yes, it comes with a unique set of challenges. Nope, it’s not a deployment.

Maybe you’re right, and I should simply look on the bright side that he’s not being shot at – but my mind automatically jumps to add, “this time.” Because I’m jaded just like so many other “lightly salted” spouses. But this experience is teaching me that it’s not always worst-case scenario. My pain meter today is at a 5. It’s hectic, I miss him, and I’m pretty sure my dog is going to rebel if I stick this cone-of-shame on his head one more time. But it’s day one. I can call him when I want to, or even buy him a ticket home for Thanksgiving.

And as it’s been said … at least he’s not being shot at.

By Lisa Kain

Army spouse Stefanie was far from family, and her husband was on deployment far from home. She spent many days and nights studying YouTube sewing sessions and was fascinated with the hobby. The mother of two was already dealing with caring for the homefront alone and working through deployment, so why not built a business from the ground up. And that meant learning to sew. Stefanie began with a few tutus and burp cloths and now her company, Abby Maddy, designs and produces an entire line of accessories to include scarves, earrings and clutches, and this fall, was coveted by Hollywood royal Tori Spelling.

Staff writer Lisa Kain sat down with Stefanie to discuss the ups and downs of starting a business as a military spouse (and while dealing with deployment!)

1. What was the inspiration in starting your business? How did the idea come about? My daughter (Abigail Madison) the namesake of my company was definitely my inspiration. I started Abby Maddy when she was only 18-months-old and I was pregnant with my son. At the time, my father was terminally ill with cancer and my husband was about to deploy again. There was a lot going on back then, and now when I look back on it, I realize just how therapeutic launching a business was for me. Originally, our line consisted of baby items, until we phased them out in 2013. There were a lot of late nights spent sitting at my dining room table with a sewing machine and a computer. Oh yeah, did I mention I didn’t know how to sew and I had to teach myself? There was a lot on my mind back then and working through each piece of Abby Maddy was soothing to me and still is.

What have been some of your failures, and what you learned from them? I’m always trying new things, sometimes they work, sometimes, they don’t. I take notes and move on! It absolutely makes me crazy when someone has a beautiful business but gives it up after one set back! Failures and mistakes are going to happen. Consider it a learning experience and keep going. I would personally never want to be in business with someone who hasn’t experienced failure at least once.

How many hours do you work, on average? It varies greatly, but during the school year and at the height of new launches, 20-30 hours a week.

Is this your first business? If not, what were your others, and what happened to them? It’s my first time launching my own brand, but I’ve been in love with business for as long as I can remember. I learned retail at an early age working in my grandmother’s store -  when I had to use a chair to be able to reach the cash register. I started my own direct sales business from my dorm room at age 19. It’s in my blood.

How did you finance your business and what was the process like? It’s important to me to build a debt-free business, and for the most part, we have done just that. In the beginning I carried a few items on my website that I didn’t make and the cash flow from those items financed my time to make the others. Eventually we phased those items out and now everything on the site is handmade in the studio. I am super budget conscious and I still teach sewing classes to help add cash flow to the business. It seems there is always an endless list of expenditures for a growing business!

How many employees do you have? I have an assistant, and a few others that help out on an as-needed basis, plus lots of great businesses we work with on marketing, branding, website design, etc. We’re hoping to add another team member this fall.

What is an average work day like for you? Well I’m a mom of a 6-year-old about to start kindergarten and a 3-year-old who is in preschool so there is no average day, it seems. Most school mornings, I’m up before the kids, have coffee, check emails, do a little social media posting on our various accounts, dress everyone, breakfast, get everyone off to school, then back to work for about two or three hours until it’s time to pick up my youngest. After lunch when everyone is down for nap, I work a bit more until late afternoon. Usually we try to do a craft, activity or play outside for a bit. Then its dinner, bath, bedtimes and more work in the evenings for me! They can be long days, especially when my husband is deployed or TDY but I absolutely love what I do, so it never feels like work.

Who are your customers?  Initially, like most businesses, it was family and friends, but now we have customers all over. Generally, its women ages 25-45, but then again, sometimes it surprises me!

What are the most crucial things you have done to grow your business? Just do a little bit each day. You can’t go weeks and months in between product or updates. You have to stay relevant and stay in front of your customer. That’s just the reality of small business. And leave no stone unturned, Don’t listen to negative people and don’t let anyone plant pre-formed opinions in your head. Go to networking groups, hold speaking engagements and meet up with other business owners. Building your network is crucial- and a very important skill to have as a military spouse!

What plans do you have for expansion? Right now we are working hard at putting Abby Maddy in boutiques. So far we’ve had great feedback and our line seems to work well with fashion forward, independent shops. It’s been a lot of fun and whole new education working with retailers! But it is definitely where I want to be!

What has been your most effective marketing tactic or technique? We’re always trying new things, but you just can’t beat word of mouth advertising. When people love you, and love your products, especially women, they tell everyone. Take care of your customers, under promise and over deliver and your customers won’t let you down.

What are some of the challenges you have faced being an entrepreneur while living a military lifestyle? There are a lot of challenges, the obvious, of course, is how much we move, and not really being able to open a storefront. But I’ve always viewed it more as an opportunity. With every move we are planting our business in a new place and since I’m online, my customers are very loyal to me when I move. It also opens doors to contact retailers about having Abby Maddy being carried in their store - I have a connection to so many places that it allows my business to have roots that are as deep as they are wide.

What three pieces of advice would you offer entrepreneurs starting out today? 1) Start small, there is no shame in taking it slow. Don’t try to do too much right from the beginning. 2) Know that you are not going to get paid for a long time and make peace with it. 3) Whatever you do, don’t quit!

Visit Abby Maddy Designs on Facebook:

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Visit the website and shop! www.abbymaddy.com

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Follow us on Pinterest! http://www.pinterest.com/abbymaddy/

Amazing how a couple weeks can go by and I can go from the highest of highs and then quickly fall flat on my face.

A month into our new, packed schedule and I feel like I may have bitten off more than I can chew. It doesn’t help that this is a very busy time of year for my husband. But in this lifestyle when isn’t it?

When it comes to all the duties on the homefront, I am up to bat. Which normally I can handle. But add carpooling preschoolers and volunteering three days a week on top of it all and I am holding up my white flag and silently shouting, “I surrender!”

But there is no way I can admit to anyone that I am failing. Why? Because I chose this. It’s my job. My house is a disaster, which makes me anxious. My kids are acting out because I am away from home more. And when I am home, I have little to no patience. If I am not disciplining them I am giving into things I wouldn’t normally let slide because its just easier.

I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t multitasking when I was home with my kids. I feel like I have separate 'to do' lists for every role I have - mom, wife, volunteer  #1, volunteer #2 - but can never manage to complete a list in its entirety. I am on a hamster wheel and can’t seem to get off.

I wasn’t quite prepared for this feeling. I know it may take some adjusting for all of us but frankly, I am overwhelmed. So my friends, how do you do it? How do you manage it all? Work, home, military life?

It’s time to work out the kinks, get some suggestions and get a little more organized. I thought I would have it all figured out by now. Does something have to go? I am not sure if I am willing to give up anything up quite yet because I truly love all of the things I have going on right now, but, at what expense makes it worth it?

I chose to be a stay-at-home mom, but I am not really at home much any more. Then again, I certainly do not have a paycheck to “prove” my hard work is worth it.

So I apologize, I am not my usual bubbly, optimistic military spouse today. Today I am just exhausted and overwhelmed.

I brought it on myself so it’s a little hard to admit to. I am still loving our military life and where it has brought us (even if my husband will be out of the country for our son’s birthday), but struggling to keep my head above the water.

I am hoping a weekend with my husband at home will be the cure. Or maybe a clean house will do the trick or a good family day at the beach. Or maybe all of the above?  For now I will tuck my white flag back in the bunker and push through another day. After all, I am a military wife. We don’t know how we do what we do - we just do it.

By Mandy Rebmann

As covered in an earlier piece, one of the major factors used in qualifying for a VA loan is your Debt-to-Income (DTI). Generally, the DTI you will need to qualify for a VA loan is 41 percent or less. But how does your lender determine what your DTI actually is? The debt part is the total monthly debts found on a credit report. But the number determined as your monthly income can seem like a complicated conclusion. 

People rely on many types of income, and for loan purposes, not only is the amount important, but also the probability you will keep earning the income at roughly the same amounts. And it’s up to you and your lender to verify and document this.

The following are among the types of income that may be considered: base pay, incentive and allowance pay, wages and salary, self-employment, tips, commissions and rental income. Additionally, income sources such as disability payments and public assistance can be included. Income derived from child support, alimony, or separate maintenance may be volunteered to help qualify, but is not required to be divulged. Regardless of what type of income it is, the amount and probability of continuation needs to be documented. 

• Duty, incentive, and allowance pay is verified by a Leaving and Earnings Statement (LES). The LES verifies amounts paid and frequency. An underwriter will also check the expiration date for active duty service for enlisted service members and members of the National Guard or Reserve. 
• Special consideration is needed if you are close to ending your enlistment period, or if you are part-time and will be coming off active duty. Your higher active duty or hazard pay may still be considered in some circumstances, or may be used to offset short-term debt. 
• If you were injured while serving on active duty, and receive disability payments from the VA, they may be used as income. The key, like all income used to qualify for a mortgage, is it needs to be documented it will continue. Documentation required for disability payments generally includes proof of receipt (checks or direct deposit) and the award letter ensuring continuation.
• If you receive any non-taxable income, it may be “grossed-up” to 125 percent. For example, if you receive $100 non-taxed income each month, it may be grossed-up to $125 for DTI purposes.  This allows non-taxable income to be counted more accurately.
• Generally, for non-military sources of income, a two-year history needs to be established to justify current amounts and reasonable belief it will continue. There are general guidelines for all types of income. For example, wage income will require paystubs and a VA Form 26-8497, Request for Verification of Employment. Self-employment income may require two years of income tax returns, plus a current year-to-date profit and loss statement.
• Income contributed by a spouse follows the same rules. However, it is not required a spouse disclose their income in the loan process unless that spouse will be named as a co-borrower on the loan, or if the applicant is relying on the spouse’s income to qualify for the loan.

In addition to verifying income to satisfy DTI requirements, VA loans require the borrower/s    demonstrate Residual Income - an amount determined by household size and location that is left over after your monthly housing payment and debts are paid.

It is a good idea to gather much of this information before you apply so you’ll have it handy when your lender asks for it. And, depending on how long your loan takes to close, be prepared to have to provide updated documents. Like milk and frequent flyer miles, they expire.

Samantha Mahon is preparing to PCS next year.

With two little boys, two large dogs, and a husband who has dragged her up and down the East Coast during his Navy career, she’s got a lot to juggle.

Toys. Furniture. Family records. Bees.

Three whole hives of them, to be exact.

Because, though Mahon may be a mom and a military spouse, she is also a beekeeper.

“I have always wanted to keep bees since I was a little girl,” Mahon, 32, said. “I always admired it from afar and started heavily looking into it about three years ago. It took some convincing of my husband, and I was finally able to warm him up to the idea. Low and behold, two weeks later, there was a local ad from a hobbyist beekeeper that wanted to sell his hives. I jumped on the idea.”

Mahon, who formerly served in the Air Force, is one of many military spouses and veterans pursuing a different career path, with a “green” twist to it.

While the U.S. Labor Department defines a “green job” quite narrowly, according to experts, anything that has a “positive impact on our planet” is considered a green job, said Carol McClelland, executive director for Green Career Central, an organization she founded that helps clients transition into a green career path.

When you look at the big picture, the possibilities for a career in environmental sustainability are almost endless, McClelland said.

There are jobs in natural resource management, like people who work in water treatment plants. There are jobs in manufacturing, producing raw materials in an environmentally friendly way or creating green products. There are jobs in green construction.

You can be a consultant for companies wanting to become more green, and you can work in media and public relations, educating parties and the public about environmental sustainability. 

There are economists, attorneys, teachers, and journalists – all whom can work in some capacity in a green field, especially since it has become so popular, McClelland said.

Back in 2010, about 50 industries identified themselves as green, and now, just four years later, at least 75 to 100 do. The amount has almost doubled, she said.

In 2007, there were only four green career counselors in the nation, McClelland added. 

Now there are many more.

But, because it’s such a hot, growing trend, all industries are included in the green branch, or should be, she said.

“The names and job titles may not be green, but that’s semantics,” she said. “This is a new world and a new terrain. There are cutting edge fields in each industry.”

Mahon, for instance, by keeping bees and selling honey, beeswax and pollen in her local markets, is improving natural pollination and her local environment. She has a green job, according to McClelland’s definition.

“It's no secret that our society is in trouble due to the bees’ decline,” Mahon said. “Citrus prices have tripled due to the loss of our greatest pollinators. Keeping bees gives me the push to spread the word in my local area on how important it is to not use pesticides.”

Mahon frequently takes her bees in a traveling hive to local schools to educate students about pollination – another facet of her job that makes it “green,” McClelland said.

Still, anyone interested in seeking a job that will affect the environment positively will need to do some research first, whether you’re a military spouse or not, McClelland said.

Before deciding what industry you are interested in, she recommends looking at your “career story,” or what your volunteer and work experience has been.

Then “figure out what is the best use of your talent and expertise. Look at your past history and your skills and figure out how you can best contribute to the planet,” she said.

“You focus, then prepare,” she added.

Sometimes, some people will need further education; a few do have to go back to school and some need to earn certain certificates, she said.

Then you look at the climate of the region.

“Florida and California are going to be vastly different, for instance,” she said.

Some issues are more extreme in certain areas; pollution is different in certain areas.

Military spouses can struggle here, as they move often and to vastly different parts of the country, at times.

So sometimes, you may need to look into doing an internship or volunteer work for a bit to make you more attractive to an employer in the region and “demonstrate your expertise.”

Then you can look for a job opening.

When you are new to an area, McClelland recommends tapping into a site called greendrinks.org, where like-minded green professionals post gatherings and can help you become aware of an area’s opportunities. Using LinkedIn and reading the newspaper and business journal should also become part of your preparation repertoire, she said.

If you are really new to green careers, you may want to take a general sustainability course so you can familiarize yourself with terms and other logistics specifically involved with the job, but very rarely do you need to re-do all your training just because of a move, she said.

A few jobs may require something different – people working in green construction, for example, will need to learn new building codes, or an environmental lawyer will need to take the bar exam if they move to a different state – but largely, the skill set and previous education is transferrable, even if the region’s issues are not, she said.

“This can be like the wild, wild west of careers because it’s so new and unusual,” she added.

But the increased popularity and the drive within industries to become more green is good, she said.

“We can do this gracefully or less gracefully, but we have to do something if we want to make this a planet worth saving.”

 

In our life in the military, separation is nothing new. We’re apart during trainings, schools, TDY’s, field exercises and that dreaded “D” world. But though Jason and I have been married almost thirteen years, we’ve never been separated by choice.

That’s about to change.

We’re about to be separated for eight months, or even longer, and for the first time.

And, it’s not the Army pulling us apart.

We’re crossing the year-mark of fostering our youngest daughter, and her situation is anything but settled. We’ve always said we would not leave her behind if we came down on PCS orders.

And , now,  it’s time to put our money where our mouth is. Next week, Jason will leave for a course in-route on his PCS. I will stay behind in New York with our children.

Saying “we’re going to stay behind,” sounds so romantic in theory. It’s anything but in reality.

Jason’s prepping me just like he’s leaving for a deployment. I have a new Power of Attorney, the cars have been serviced, the snow-blowers are ready to battle yet another Fort Drum winter that I thought I’d never see. We’re trying to figure out how to juggle three hockey teams for the four boys, along with the complicated schedule that comes along with our sweet Little Miss. We’re trying to plan ahead toward writing deadlines and book releases on my side of the work aisle and trips home on his.

But we’re doing this all with no idea of what actual timeline we’re working with. For someone who likes to plan things out, you know, like a little thing like a cross-country move with a tribe of children, this is harder than I ever imagined.

I know that we’re not alone. Other spouses choose not to PCS with their husbands for jobs, stability, kids or a myriad of other personal reasons. Excuse me while my inner five-year-old rears her head, but the idea of going through another 8 months apart from him, after he’s only been home from Afghanistan for 9 months, hurts.

But this isn’t a deployment. Jason’s not being shot at, or eating MRE’s or flying dangerous missions. No, he’s just living a few time zones away until the state of New York decides what’s in the best interest of our little girl.

The boys are more than understanding, they’re utterly supportive. Yes, they were devastated when the court couldn’t give her permanency one way or another last month, as were we all, but they kissed her little cheeks and promised her that they weren’t going anywhere without her.

Meanwhile, I see what they’re giving up – their dad for another eight months when they just got him back – and I want to sob at how we’re ripping our family apart just for the chance to keep it together.

In the words of my husband – this is the easiest choice with the hardest consequences.

So he’s packing his things as I unpack the boxes we’d filled in hopes that we’d be going with him. We’re putting everything on hold and beginning a life in limbo, so I guess it’s a good thing that the Army has taught us to be flexible. We bend in this marriage, this family. We don’t break.

Just a week left together to fit in giggles and hugs, good-nights kisses and before-school high-fives. Then it’s time to brush up on our Skype-skills and flex my sole-caretaker muscles. I want to say “I’ve got this. No problem.”

But truthfully, trepidation doesn’t adequately describe the pressure in my chest. There’s no feeling that encompasses our choice here other than love.

We love her. She loves us. Love can stretch a continent, so we’ll focus on that until we know how long we’ll be apart, and how many of us will be moving. But no matter what happens, we’ll know that in this, we put our money where our mouth has been. We’ve stayed. We’re seeing her through. Because when it comes to foster parenting, it’s never about you, it’s about the child, and her best interest – and her family staying put while she’s in the center of a fight she didn’t make is definitely what she needs.

He goes. We stay.  Five kids, three hockey teams, visitations, therapists and one mommy. Here we go.

We’ve all been there … trying to get through the gate. Sometimes we’re late, sometimes we’re sick, sometimes we just have screaming children in the backseat and the need to just get home.  Inevitably, those are the days we will be stuck in the line behind “that guy.”
 

You know “that guy.” He’s the one that tried rolling onto your installation without the proper ID and holds up progress for every single person ready to continue their day. 

As frustrating as waiting can be, we’ve also watched in horror as armed people tore through our military installations and caused terrible damage. And when those things happen, it doesn’t matter what branch of the service we are in. When things like that happen, we are one family. And as one family, we are all thinking the same thought:

“How could this happen? Can’t we stop this?”

After the Washington Naval Yard and Fort Hood shootings, the Department of Defense found themselves asking the same question. The answer? The Identity Matching Engine for Security and Analysis, or IMESA.

I could be boring and spout the technical details, but let’s be honest … those things aren’t important to us. What is important is knowing how this will probably affect our daily lives. 

So what problems can we expect, and what are some easy fixes? 

Problem: Those living off post and driving in for work will, in all likelihood, experience delays. Like any kind of new system, it will take some time to iron out the kinks. 

Fix: Leaving earlier than usual will (hopefully) take care of that. The larger your installation is, the earlier you should leave for work.

Problem: The Military and Federal police who guard our gates will probably be very, very stressed out. Although they will be trained on the new system and procedures, they will also experience people frustrated with longer wait times. 

Fix: Be patient, be kind and be quick. Heck, maybe pick up an extra cup of Starbucks for the gate guard who checks your ID! A little kindness in situations like these not only help make peoples’ day better, but it also racks up major karma points for you!

Problem: The wait is just so long.

Fix: Be patient! Bring a book on tape. Call your dad. Do the US Weekly crossword.

(I’m kidding. Don’t do a crossword puzzle while you’re driving, it’s just a bad idea.)

Seriously, though, be patient. It’s not a party for anyone, but we’re all in this together.

At this point, none of us are quite sure how smoothly this program is going to go. Once the ball is rolling, however, it is likely that we will not notice a difference from our regular, day-to-day drive times.  And let’s be honest … if a little extra time keeps our families safe, shouldn’t we invest it?

By Mandy Rebmann

Maybe you’ve just started thinking about owning a home, or maybe you already have a property in mind. One of the biggest questions facing potential homeowners is how much of a loan can they get?  Can you really afford that perfect house you’ve had your eye on? Or, if you haven’t fallen in love with a house yet, what should your ceiling price be?

Veterans have an added benefit when they apply for a home loan – the VA loan. The rates are often better, the loan is guaranteed by the government so the eligibility can be easier but it’s no easy road to get to closing. Because the loan is backed by the government, the amount of red tape and paperwork seems to never end.

Before applying for a loan, you should obtain your Certificate of Eligibility (COE) which shows you are eligible to use a VA loan. Requesting the COE may be done online, by mail or through your VA lender.  When applying, the lender will need your original COE, which verifies you are eligible for a VA-guaranteed mortgage.

You should also have a credit score of 620 or higher. The higher the credit score, the more likely you are to be approved for your loan.

How much of a loan you qualify for depends on a two basic factors - what your income is and how much debt you carry. If you carry less debt, more of your income can be used towards your housing payment.

APPLYING- How Much of a Loan Can I Get?

• Underwriters look at your monthly Debt-to-Income (DTI) ratio, which should not exceed 41%.  This means that your proposed monthly housing payment and other monthly debts should not exceed 41% of your monthly income. For example, if your monthly income is $5,000, your proposed housing payment is $1,000 and all other debts are $1,000, you would qualify based on DTI.  2000/5000 = .40 or 40%. 
• This calculation can help you figure out how much of a house you can afford. Multiply your monthly income by .41, and then subtract your monthly debt payments. The remainder is your monthly housing payment limit.
• Monthly debts include car, additional housing, credit card, and installment payments. They may also include alimony, child support and child care costs.
• VA underwriters also look at Residual Income. Residual Income is “leftover” money after debts are paid. The amount of Residual Income you are required to have is based on how many people are in your household family and what region you live in.

APPLYING- What Do I Need to Do?

• After finding a VA Loan lender, you will need to complete an application, which will ask you basic identification, income, and asset questions. 
• Underwriters will verify the information provided on the application, specifically the amounts listed for your income and assets. 
• Income verification tends to be easier for those who receive regular paychecks and W2s. Often, your last two paystubs, or LES’s, and the last two years of W2s will suffice. It gets a little more complicated for the self-employed, or those who receive 1099s. Since that type of income is not as easily verified, be prepared to have to provide tax returns, additional bank statements, and possibly, letters of explanation from employers.
• Asset documentation will include at least the last two months bank statements, and possibly the last quarterly statements for other investments, such as 401Ks or other retirement accounts.  Large deposits may need to be explained and sourced. Online printouts are generally not accepted.

It will be important for you to stay in close contact with your lender throughout the process, in case something unexpected comes up. VA loans may seem more difficult to obtain than other types of mortgages, but for the most part, the benefits definitely outweigh the added steps.

It's back to school time and everybody's kids are selling something. From school, to sports, to service organizations, the fundraisers are plentiful. But should you be selling things at work if you want to move up in the company? If you do sell, when is enough, enough? And when can your pedaling of fundraiser goods be potentially damaging to your professional image? 

If you aren't sure about the answer to any of these questions, don't start selling products or soliciting donations at work until you consider these steps.

First, check the employee handbook and other written policies to find out if selling is allowed. Federal employees, for example, may not sell or solicit donations at work except in connection with the Combined Federal Campaign. However, some private sector and non-profit employers may allow it.

Then, if your workplace does allow it, look beyond the written rules.

"In some offices, it's fine. In others, it might be frowned upon," said Alison Green, the author of the Ask a Manager blog (www.askamanager), in an email interview. "You need to know your office [culture]."

No matter what the rules are, some people have their own opinions about what workplace selling says about you. Some will think it's great that you support your children or a great cause, but others won't be so accepting.

"Be aware that many people find these sales to be distracting and even annoying if you apply any pressure to buy ... in a context where they can’t help but wonder if they’re expected or obligated to participate," said Green. "If you must ask, ask only once. And don't ever assume that people will buy or say things like, 'What can I put you down for?'"

No matter what your relationship is to co-workers, selling may have hidden consequences. Your colleagues may be resentful and think you are wasting time and not doing your fair share of work. People below you may feel pressure to buy. And those above you may think it is unprofessional, which could indirectly impact your performance review and future opportunities. 

Also, follow these general rules:

Keep your selling low-key. Don't go from desk to desk. Leave sign-up sheets in the break room or place the merchandise on your desk for people to "discover". Word will travel fast once others see the goodies.

Finally, double-check the policy about email use. In some places it is acceptable to send one group email to announce your fundraiser. In others, it may be considered spam. Standard business email communication rules say that if you aren't already in a relationship with someone then you shouldn't be sending them email to solicit sales or donations at work.