The summer panic is starting to set in.

For some families with a stay-at-home parent this means finding ways to entertain the kids for eight long weeks.

For others, like mine, it means finding affordable, fulltime day care, for eight long weeks. In our family that weekly dollar amount is multiplied by five. And the resulting number is twice what I actually make on the job for the week.

Uggggggh.

So, I’m playing a dangerous game of enrolling each kid in various camps throughout the eight weeks that require me to pick up during lunch, drop off during breaks and use perfectly timed personal days to fill in the gaps.

It’s expensive. It’s stressful. It’s exhausting. And I’m one of the lucky ones.

I have a job that pays me enough to afford at least some fulltime day care for the summer months. I work at a business where my boss not only understands the struggle but allows some wiggle room as myself and the other employees take turns leaving to drop and pick up our kids.

For many people, this is not the case. Nine to five means, nine to five. No breaks. No kid pickups. No bringing your child to work when the daycare provider is sick. For many, it is easier, and less expensive, to not work.

Local museums, art clubs and even school districts know there is a desperate need for summer childcare. They provide it. And sometimes, they charge an outrageous amount for it. Summer dance camp for my 4-year-old, for one week, 9 a.m. to noon, is $200. Art camp for the preteen is $250. Drama club camp is another, cool, $150 a week.

None of these camps last past noon, serve food or provide any extras. But these are the ones that are advertised on slick, glossy paper, sent home in our kids’ book bags that they beg us to attend.

No. Not happening.

If you live near a base, look there first. The military has also noticed a desperate need for summer childcare. And finally, they are responding. Many bases are now offering summer day camp. Many start as early as 7 a.m. and last until 6 at night.

The kids play, nap, run, do crafts and eat. They are safe, they are entertained and most importantly, the parents don’t have to run from camp to camp, wad of money in hand, to keep their children safe and taken care of for eight weeks.

The summer childcare struggle is just that, a struggle. And it is very real. Hang in there moms and dads. The first day of school will be here before you know it.

It’s been a full-moon, thunderstorm kind of month around here.

If it can go wrong, it has.  And normally all at the same time.

It’s also not just me.  My fellow military spouses are experiencing some real low lows this spring, too.

Broken appliances.  Speeding tickets.  Family emergencies.  Car accidents.  Power outages.  Sick kids.  Migraines.  Houses that seem to keep getting messier.

They are plaguing everyone.

And it was at one such desperate coffee date with friends – our kids milling about and tossing God knows what at each other, but who cares because they were happy – that we all discussed it.

How downright bad it had been.

Comically bad, in fact.

And we got to thinking.

On submarines, our sailors earn “fish,” or “dolphins.”  Basically, it’s their submarine warfare pin that tells everyone they did a bunch of work and evaluations and went before a board and were deemed submarine-warfare qualified.  It makes sure they are ready to do the work that lies ahead of them.

But no one makes sure the spouses are qualified for this life.  No one tests us, preps us for what the years of coming and going and little to no contact will look like.

Can you imagine some poor new Navy wife, nervously perched in front of a board of seasoned spouses, sweating profusely as they fired off questions like, "It’s 2 a.m., and you hear a loud bang. Another appliance has exploded.  Just then your 3-year-old, startled by the noise, climbs into bed and vomits on you. What is your next step?”

Or “Your new baby has a crucial doctor’s appointment on the Navy base, and you turn around to realize your dog has eaten your power of attorney and your military ID.  Your ombudsman is out of town and can’t be reached.  Who do you contact next?”


I’m frankly not sure I could pass that kind of board, even after all these years of fighting some of those same fights.

In fact, I’m not sure there’s any real way to train for this life.
It’s true trial by fire.  And too bad, too.

And even if I had some kind of military spouse warfare pin on my stained Mom T-shirt, it probably wouldn’t mean much.

Stuff would still break; kids would still vomit, and deployments would still suck.

So here’s to hoping that some months are better than others.
 

I wake up to a few text messages every morning.

“Want coffee? I’m hitting Dunkin’ Donuts before I see you at school.”

One message often reads, “Going to the store. Need anything?”

And sometimes, I’ll get the ever-necessary, “The kids are driving me crazy.  Wanna make pizzas and watch movies at my house tonight?  Better than being alone.”

Last week, I had a fellow military spouse invite me over for a playdate and give me her own bed to nap in while she watched the kids and popped popcorn, knowing I was pregnant, tired, and over deployment that week.

This is my everyday life.

My husband may be underwater and out of contact, but I am not alone.  Ever.

My normal is a family that was thrown together out of sheer chance and a pinch of divine intervention.

My normal is a series of text messages checking on me, offering help, telling me a funny story, and empathizing that sometimes, this life can really suck.

My normal is my fellow military spouses.

It’s a friend I met at the library during my husband’s first deployment, who has come and rescued me from a giant snake in my garage that had me paralyzed in fear.

It’s a friend who made me corned beef and cabbage on St. Patrick’s Day and then held my hair while I threw it all up after morning sickness took hold.

It’s a friend who hosted a garage sale with me and dragged tables full of junk in and out of the surprising 5 a.m. rain storm, with babies on our backs still sleeping in footy pajamas, both our husbands deployed.

This is what being a military spouse looks like.

It can be lonely and frustrating, and sometimes, even a little apocalyptic.

But it’s also the only life where we find such a safety net.  Because though we are lonely, we are not alone.

Though we are frustrated, we are always supported.

And though the world can often seem like it’s crashing down around us, there’s always another fellow milspouse there, holding a broom and sweeping up the rubble while handing you the ziti for the dinner you forgot to cook.

When I moved to Georgia, the biggest fear I had was that we didn’t have a Target in this town.

It’s laughable now, but I was worried that when things would inevitably get boring, I wouldn’t be able to entertain myself without the Target dollar section.

And then I realized what it meant to live among women and men living my life, bumps and bruises included, every single day.

There’s always someone to call.  Someone to make sandwiches for dinner with.  Someone to meet at a park or a pool or a play place.

When I had a miscarriage, I told my military spouse friends first.  When my kids are sick, they are the first ones I text.

I don’t have guilt when asking them for help or venting.

I know they’ve been there and will be there, and soon enough, I’ll be the one rushing to the pharmacy to fill their prescription and buy them some chicken soup for their dinner.

It’s an unspoken creed; it’s a code.  It’s an honor to serve them like they’ve served me.

And while I wouldn’t be here without my husband and his career, even he doesn’t get what it’s like to be a military spouse.

We are our own force. 

We come and go out of each other’s lives, sad to be leaving and scared the magic won’t happen again at our new base or station.

And then it does.  And the fear goes away and once more we are swept up in honoring, serving, and protecting each other while our spouses leave to do their jobs, not understanding but counting on that safety net; that force we are as military spouses.

That is why I love being a military spouse.

It is a strength and fraternity unique to our paths, to the way we serve.

And because of it, I have met so many amazing women and men who walk alongside me every day, holding me up while I support them in return.

The beauty of the web of support, and that we all weave, is what keeps this life bright and happy, rather than sad and lonely.

It’s a love like no other, disguised often in a much-needed cup of coffee on a rushed school day morning.

 

Editor's note: Friday is Military Spouse Appreciation Day. We count down with a blog each day from our own dedicated staff members as they recount why they love this crazy life.

A few weeks ago, I asked my co-family readiness group leader (who happens to be a man) what his favorite thing about being an Army spouse is.

His answer was a long drink of coffee and giving me the slow blink.

To be honest, his slow blink got me thinking: I didn’t really have an answer, either. There are a lot of things that I like, and a lot things that I am pretty stinkin’ proud of. Nothing really stood out as a favorite, though, and that bummed me out. So I tossed the question out to a few of my local Army spouse friends via Facebook message, and got replies over the next few hours.

As I read through them, I tried to think of a way to summarize them that wouldn’t damage the beauty of their sentiments. And when I say that, I mean that I really, really stared at the message window and racked my brain for a way to accurately convey their feelings.

Then it hit me …  no matter how eloquent the writer, no amount of rephrasing could ever capture the camaraderie and comfort we’ve found in each other.

Because these people have made such an impact on my life, and inspired a piece that I simply cannot stop smiling about as I write, they deserve for their words to be read just like mine will be. So here it is:

            “The friends that I've made, traveling to all kinds of cool places that I         wouldn’t normally go.” –J.D.

            “I really LOVE how little drama there is with the wives and how most of them      try to help each other and lift spirits instead of knocking them down ... I love   hanging out with the girls.” –B.H.

            “And definitely the amount of pride I have when I tell people that my        husband is a soldier.” –J.D.

            “I like how different we all are. We come from all over the country and that           makes for some great interesting friendships.” –L.W.

            “We share a common bond. A bond of friendship and sisterhood. One where you know you can depend on the other no matter the reason.” –M.R.

            “Seriously though, before marrying the military, I thought I was proud to be          an American ... I had no idea. The amount of pride and patriotism you feel is             beyond description.” –J.C.L.

            “^^What she said.” –J.D.

As I was writing this, I realized that the people I go to for answers to questions like this just happen to be the answer I was looking for.  We are a both a diverse and similar group of people. To put it plainly, as a group, we are an oxymoron.

I get to be part of a family of walking, talking, ride-or-die for each other oxymorons … and that is my very favorite thing about being an Army spouse.

Editor's note: Friday is Military Spouse Appreciation Day. We count down with a blog each day from our own dedicated staff members as they recount why they love this crazy life.

I sat down at my computer a few days ago to tell you why I love being a military spouse. I wrote something about the opportunities this life has given me, and the people I have met and the friends I have made.

And then, I threw it out.

I pondered telling you about my kids, and how they have survived this life and been made stronger for it. I considered writing about the pride I feel as a military spouse. I thought about telling tales of hard deployments and marital strife.

None of it felt right.

None of it was completely true.

I am a military spouse, yet I rarely call myself that. And I especially never call myself an “Army wife.” There’s nothing wrong with those labels, but they are just that.

Labels.

In the minds of many, those labels conjure up one of two images: The gung-ho patriotic spouse who decorates her house in red, white and blue and can fix her dishwasher after watching a single YouTube video, raise three well-behaved kids on her own, work out at the gym and look gorgeous, every single day.

Or, we are broken people, struggling to keep our marriages together and our minds sane, trying to save our kids from a life scarred by deployments and danger, questioning our nation’s leadership and barely keeping it together, every single day. 

But in reality there is a gray area where most of us live, caught between the pride and honor and self-reliance of being a military spouse, and the heartbreak and struggle and doubt that come along with this life.

Most days I love being a military spouse. But a lot of days, I don’t.

This isn’t the exact life I envisioned for myself, but it is one I’m glad and grateful to have.

It’s a life that has forced me to look inward, to grow up, to be independent, and to realize that sometimes it’s OK to be not OK.

It’s about realizing that the gray area is a pretty good place to be.

The gray area is where we lose ourselves, and find ourselves.

It’s where we raise a glass to celebrate each other, or put out our arms and cry with each other. It’s where we question why we ever agreed to this life, and thank our lucky stars that we did.

There are still things waiting for us in the gray area. Things we haven’t yet experienced. Things that will lift us up, or break our hearts, and put us on a roller coaster ride of expectation, fulfillment and disappointment.

No day there is ever the same.

The gray area makes us better, stronger, wiser.

It shows us the good, the bad, the ugly – in ourselves and everyone around us.

That’s what I love most about being a military spouse: the unknown, the experiences survived and thrived in, and the ones yet to come.

For all its hardships and laughter and sadness and elation, I love the  life I live in the gray area.

Last fall Christine Gold moved to Colorado from Georgia at the very beginning of her third trimester for a Navy PCS with her husband and their first-born daughter.

“It sucked,” she joked. “Being huge, tired, having to pee always. Especially with the altitude; it was so hard on my body.”

She struggled to find a healthcare provider that met her needs, and she didn’t want to waffle between providers and not receive the frequent medical checks and appointments she and her baby needed at the end of pregnancy.

The difficulties continued to stack up: she had to line up childcare for her daughter for when she went into labor, despite knowing no one in her new home and living many states away from her family and her in-laws; she had to find a pediatrician to take care of the baby after the birth even though she was totally unfamiliar with the base clinic.

Moving with the military is stressful enough, but PCSing while pregnant can add a whole different level of stress to the game.

Kimberly Davis, ombudsman for a U.S. naval submarine command in Kings Bay, Ga., said she refers all pregnant women who newly report to the command to Fleet and Family Support Center.  They offer free classes and can help situate new mothers with the supplies and resources they need to budget for children and parent little ones.

They also need to quickly get in touch with Tricare, she said, to find out what providers will take them in the area.

“If they are in a different region, they will have to enroll in the new region, anyway, so it’s probably easier to have her talk to Tricare, anyway, to get all of those things worked out at once,” Davis said.

Megan Correa is the director for MOM4USA, a military outreach ministry that serves lower enlisted military families at Camp Pendleton and the surrounding Southern California area.  MOM runs a monthly food drive for military families in need, as well as provides free donated items when they can.

Correa also refers to many military-sponsored family support resources, including Navy-Marine Corp Relief Society and their “Budget for Baby” class, where new parents are provided with clothing, blankets, coupons, and other necessities.

She also has families contact WIC, Headstart, and other government agencies that can make sure new mothers new to the area get their physical needs met.

Her organization also gives away a layette set to expecting parents who contact her.  She saves lots of reading and other resources to send to new mothers, and a lot of the family readiness organizations and the base chaplain contact her to see what she can do for new families, most ranked E1 through E5.

“With the economy tanking, we don’t have as many baby items, baby furniture,” she said.

But when she gets some in, she contacts the family readiness organizations to find them a home.

She recommends new parents who have just PCSd get involved as soon as they can with the family readiness groups and other local ministries.  Those organizations often lobby to help pregnant mothers get what they need.

Sharon Gerdes, vice president of Post-Partum Support International, recommends pregnant mothers not just prepare for the baby to come but for the possible complications that can arise post-partum, as well.

Military wives can be more susceptible to post-partum depression, anxiety, and other mood and anxiety disorders associated with the post-partum period.

Military spouses who PCS right into a deployment situation, like many do, risk being isolated during the birth of their child, being away from family, friends and their spouse.

Women who give birth without their partner are twice as likely to experience post-partum depression, Gerdes said.

PSI has a group of military coordinators who can help pregnant and post-partum women find help in their region and within their specific branch; they’re specifically trained to help military spouses.  They also have free support via the Internet and telephone.

Gerdes recommends getting in touch with some kind of support once you’ve moved, but before the baby is born.  Someone who can take older children to their activities or school.  Some other families to help bring you meals, or someone to come hold the baby so you can take a nap.

“Schedule as much as you can in advance,” she said.

Gerdes said if you’re not sleeping, feeling weepy, overly anxious, or having visions of harming yourself or others, you should seek help.

Even if something just isn’t right, you can call Post-Partum Support International or get in touch with local resources you found before pregnancy.

“The mental health of mom is important for the health of baby,” she said.

By Tiffany Shedd

Spring has sprung. Flowers are blooming everywhere. The air is filled with the sound of mowers, and, the dreaded pollen. It’s time of new beginnings. But what about those new beginnings you started way back in the dark, cold days of January? Those New Year’s resolutions? How are those going? I, for one, will admit it. We have experienced some setbacks.

In January, we began the slow process of weaning my son off his epilepsy medication. He had been seizure free since October 2013, and his neurologist decided we could try to go off the medicine. We had successfully weaned him off one of his medications earlier in the year, so we were on board. We took his medication down by very small steps and it took two months to get to zero, but by March, he was medication free.

It was a scary time for us as a family. I know I was extra vigilant about watching him for any signs that he may be experiencing any seizure activity. I was excited when we got down to zero and started ticking off days in the no medicine month of March. We got all the way through snowy March,

But April arrived with lots of showers and, unfortunately, a seizure.

He had been a little sick for a week, but he was his usual busy toddler self. We were getting ready to go to our Unit picnic and egg hunt, and he just started acting off. I know that most parents will understand exactly what I mean when I say “off”. I know my son and the tiny intricacies of his behaviors, and they just weren’t quite right that day. My paranoid mommy brain had had a suspicion that he may have a seizure because of his illness, but it hadn’t happened yet, so I tried to just push my fears aside.

We went to the picnic, and as I was putting our dishes on the table, my son and husband went to play. Within 15 minutes, he was losing motor skills, and we were headed to the hospital. On the way to the car, my tiny, precious boy went into a full tonic clonic (formerly known as grand mal) seizure. Selfishly, I am glad I didn’t have to witness it up close. The memories of his previous seizures bring tears to my eyes (I am typing through them now actually). Seeing your child sick is awful. Not being able to help your child is probably the one of the worst things a parent can ever experience.

Thankfully, his seizure was short and there was only one. We got a clean bill of health from the emergency room, and his neurologist was very quick with his response. This was a major setback for us. We had hoped that the seizures wouldn’t return when we went off the medicine.

Even though we felt defeated by this setback, we couldn’t let it shut us down. We have to keep moving forward and making new plans to help our son, just like so many of you who have special needs family members do every day. Setbacks can be extremely hard when you don’t expect them. It would be really easy to rage against everyone and be negative, but what good does that do? I am not saying that I didn’t go in the bathroom and have a good cry, because I did. But then I wiped my eyes and put a smile on my face for my son, who was upset and scared. You have to find something positive to focus on and move forward.

Luckily, we are stationed in an area with an abundance of great medical services, so we are able to receive excellent health care for our son. Our neurologist is actually the head of pediatric neurology at a wonderful hospital. We’ve been working together for the last few weeks to build a new plan to best suit my son’s needs.

Don’t let a setback turn into a roadblock. Figure out a way to get around it. It may not be easy or quick, but it’s the only option. Forward, no matter how you get there - sideways, diagonal, up and over - is the only option.

The tax man has come and gone. Still holding that blank form in your hand, unmailed?

Umm, you may want to take care of that, today.

If you have it filled out and ready to go and just never made it to the post office, go. Now.

If you never filled it out and need more time, apply for an extension. Visit this link: http://www.irs.gov/pub/irs-pdf/f4868.pdf to fill out a Form 4868 for more time to do your math. This will give you until Oct. 15.

If you don’t owe money, you will have no penalty for not filing on time. However, if the IRS owes you a refund, the longer you take to turn the form in, the longer it takes to get your refund.

If you owe the IRS money, you were required to have the bulk of that money turned in by April 15 to avoid fees and penalties. So, begin coming to terms with the fact that you will very likely be paying fees and penalties.

If you know you owe money but cannot pay, you need to file anyway. The IRS clock begins ticking today. Fees begin on April 16 and will continue to be assessed until you pay them. Unlike unpaid credit card bills that you might be able to wiggle out of, the IRS will eventually find you. Unpaid taxes can result in jail time for the worst offenders.

Once you file you can work with the IRS to set up a payment plan to give them what you owe. They are willing to work with you, but cannot do so until you file and give them a call.

If you are military serving in a combat zone, or the spouse of a military member in a combat zone you may qualify for an automatic extension. Note, the rule specifies combat zone, not simply those who live overseas.

The IRS outlines the rules in detailed format on this page: http://www.irs.gov/uac/Extension-of-Deadlines-%E2%80%94-Combat-Zone-Service

The point is, if you are still holding that form, you have missed the deadline. You will do yourself no favors to hide from the IRS. Visit the IRS webpage to find the correct office to contact for your situation http://www.irs.gov/uac/How-to-Contact-the-IRS-1

And then get moving. Time is now money lost to fees and penalties.

Spring cleaning is time for bringing in the new and tossing the old. For many military spouses, it coincides with PCS season. As families prepare to move on to their next military adventure, they are getting rid of everything from outgrown clothing to household items.

But, if you are staying put or just arriving at a new duty station, spring is also a great time to look for bargain items. Deciding what to sell, donate or how to get the most for your stuff can sometimes be more confusing than moving orders and military acronyms.  

Chris Heiska, The Yard Sale Queen, www.yardsalequeen.com and former Navy wife, shares her tips on how to sort out this most wonderful time of year - the time for bargain hunting.

Over 15 years ago, long before her website was born, Heiska found herself just “going to yard sales for her shopping fix.”

“When you’re military, the base sales are great,” she says.

After a while, she started a small website just for tips, and with time, said it just grew from there.

The Yard Sale Queen’s Best and Worst Seller Recommendations:

• Sell like-new things. “People love new and good quality items,” Heiska says. “Sometimes I even see things with pieces of Christmas wrapping paper stuck to them.”
• Kids clothes sell great, adult clothes, not so much
• Small pieces of furniture sell well. “If people can pay a little and be able to take the item with them right then, it’s attractive. And, so many people are refinishing furniture these days to furnish or re-sell.” She advises reserving the large pieces of furniture for online yard sale advertisement or classifieds “You don’t want to be hauling out your dresser into your driveway for the day and then it doesn’t sell.”
• Costume jewelry sells well. “People love looking through bins of necklaces and earrings, especially if they’re each $1.” She says to take your real items, like gold and gemstones to a jeweler to sell.
• Baby equipment is a great seller. Heiska says to always check for recall information on your item so you are informed or have the additional piece/part when you sell.
• Make sure household items are clean! She says pictures sell well, as long as they are current, and says people like small household things. Often they buy small appliances just to have an extra one on hand or if they are just starting out their households.
• Yard and gardening items, flower pots, lawn mowers and weed eaters are great for yard sales. “Just make sure you test out your equipment before you put it out to make sure it works and that you know how to start it and work it.”
• Children’s bedding: Sells well if it’s clean and nicely folded, maybe with a ribbon. “Presentation helps!”
• Miscellaneous items: Sometimes adult shoes sell well if they are nice and clean. Comforters and afghans, too.

Yard Sale Queen’s What to Donate Guide:

• Things that are outdated in style or color, but are still usable
• Anything that doesn’t sell at your sale, of course! “But remember, everything could sell if you have the right people come by,” Heiska says.
• Adult clothing
• Generic coffee cups and mismatched dishes

You may also have certain items that could bring you more cash than yard sale prices. That’s where eBay comes into play.

“On Ebay, you have people who are looking for a specific size or color, and you have the whole world looking,” Heiska says. “You’ll definitely get more money for certain items but they have to be unique, or a quality brand name.”

Heiska also finds that larger clothing sizes tend to be better eBay sellers. Timing is another factor in how much you can make on ebay. If you own items that are extremely popular, think Disney’s Frozen, circa late 2013, or themed items, they may command a higher price at the time.

And finally, selling items involves interaction with other people either at your home or in other places. Heiska promotes always thinking of safety and protecting yourself and your family for the unexpected.

Yard Sale Queen’s Safety Tips:

• Always have change on you at your yard sale, so you don’t have to go inside your house and look for it.
• Always keep your money on you, in a fanny pack. “I’ve seen too many sales with money just sitting out in a cigar box just tempting someone to take it,” Heiska says.
• Always keep your cell phone handy.
• For online classifieds, don’t post anything expensive. And, if you’re selling a larger piece of furniture, try to move it outside your home if people from online are coming to your house to view.
• When meeting potential sellers, always choose to meet in a well lit public place

Does it seem like a lot? If you get into a rhythm, you can host a yard sale pretty often. Currently, Heiska hosts a yard sale almost weekly at her local fairground.

“I like to just load up the SUV, set up a table on the grounds for a minimal fee and sell there,” she says. “And when I sell at the grounds, I see the same people who come all the time. People just love yard sales.”

 Heiska’s title as the Yard Sale Queen was born from her love of shopping, but she always finds a deal.

“It can get addicting if you go week after week. You find something good and you think, ‘What am I missing?”

For more tips and insider info, check out Heiska’s website and Facebook pages

http://www.yardsalequeen.com    

https://www.facebook.com/pages/yardsalequeen/138588036165817

I would like to consider myself a seasoned military spouse by now.  After eight years of Marine Corps life, more than eight moves, two babies born in two different states and re-establishing myself over and over again (you get the drill), I feel pretty confident in navigating around this crazy military life (not that I need to list it all out, we all know what its like!).

That’s not to say I know everything. Believe me, I am constantly learning new things about this life. And it doesn’t really get any easier, as a spouse we just learn to cope better. Or expect the worse because that is what usually happens!

One thing that I have noticed lately at our current duty station (or maybe just our own little bubble) is the competiveness between spouses.  It’s maddening!

Stay-at-home moms pitted against working moms. Enlisted wife against officer wife. New spouse against seasoned spouse. Even one military branch against another. Maybe it’s the curse of social media that prevents us from filtering our words and people just say whatever they want because they can hide behind their profile picture.  

Or, somehow, someone thinks the grass is greener on the other side. Whatever it is, I have witnessed some disturbing comments in person and social media the last few months by all ranks (including friends) and my heart is a little broken. Women can be bullies!

I thought about listing specific examples that I have encountered but after much thought I realized it’s just not necessary.  Rehashing it, thinking about it and getting defensive all over again is not healthy.  

So, let me say this, to all military spouses: male, female, officer, mustang, enlisted, stay-at-home mom, working mom, working spouse, new spouse or seasoned.

Stop comparing one another and give each other some grace and respect. We are all doing the best we can with the cards we were dealt or the path we chose. We all live within our own means. We all make sacrifices.  We all made mistakes and had to learn the hard way.

It sounds so cliché to say get along and support one another but it’s the truth. We are all doing our part to support our military, support our country and support our family. We have to stop pinning ourselves against each other.

Being a military family is hard enough. We need to stand together and fight for the benefits promised to us and our children. We need to support one another because our loved ones are still fighting a war. We need to stand up for our veterans and stop watching the statistics about PTSD and suicide rates increase while nothing is being done about it. We need to band together and go to our legislators and give our veterans a voice.

There are much bigger problems in our world. I could care less about getting a salute at the gate. As a mom of preschoolers, I am trying to teach my boys to treat others the way they want to be treated.

Instead of worrying about getting saluted at the gate or comparing pay scales, maybe we all need to go back to some basics and relearn common courtesy.