Like most government programs, the Post-9-11 GI Bill has stipulations that can make it difficult to determine how much and exactly what you are eligible for.

A new online tool vows to make that that process easier.

Jill Biden, wife of Vice President Joe Biden, is on the news and talk show circuit this week to introduce the GI Bill Comparison Tool, produced by Joining Forces, a national initiative by Biden and First Lady Michelle Obama to engage communities in reaching out to military families and provide them with opportunities and assistance. The announcement also highlights the organization's third anniversary.

Previously, the same information regarding the GI Bill was available, but at several different websites which veterans had to dig into to find the data.

Now, Biden said, veterans can use this one website to estimate tuition and fees, housing allowances and book stipends for each school they are interested in.

So, curious, I popped into the site to see exactly what it does. And, it does a pretty good job of compiling a lot of info. There are dropdown tabs to input your eligibility level and a dropdown menu to find your school. If it doesn't pop up, it means you cannot use your GI Bill benefits there, simple.

There is a button to indicate whether you will be strictly an online student or attend on campus and waalaa! The site posts the amount of tuition your benefit will cover, how much housing allowance you will receive per month (full time students only) and your annual book stipend.

It also indicates whether the school  participates in the federal Principals of Excellence program and agrees to adhere to strict guidelines in order to receive federal funding for veteran education, the Yellow Ribbon Program in which the school covers part of the tuition costs for veterans and the number of GI Bill beneficiaries who attend.

Finally, the page provide the school's graduation rate, the default rate for students of that school and the median amount of money family's generally borrow to fund an undergraduate education at this school.

I'm not going to lie, I spent more than a few minutes putting in different schools to see where the best deals could be had. And it was a much more pleasant experience to simply type the name of the school rather than compare several open tabs on my screen. To find this same information on my own, I would have trekked and searched at least five different websites.

For military families, who typically don't have a lot of time to waste searching, I say, this site is a winner.

And considering that the Veterans Affairs Department estimates that it has distributed more than $30 billion in tuition and education-related payments to more than 1 million veterans and family members, my guess is this site, is going to provide a lot of help, to a lot of people.

Check it out at: 

http://www.whitehouse.gov/blog/2014/04/14/estimate-your-education-costs-just-few-clicks-gi-bill-comparison-tool

I remember after just a few years of repeated deployments to the Mideast, military folks, civilians and government officials all began to wonder aloud what long-term effect the exhaustion of war would have on military families.

Now, more than a decade later, studies have been conducted and the results are rolling in, most with not so good results. As I read most of them, I find that I agree with the results and have even experienced some of the lingering hardships that come with having a spouse who is repeatedly exposed to combat.

However, a study released by the California Department of Education in January made my blood boil.

Researchers say they found that military-connected students were more likely than nonmilitary students to be "physically victimized, which included being pushed or shoved, being in a fight, and having property stolen." It adds, "These students were also more likely to have rumors spread about them and to be the subject of sexual jokes and gestures."

This, I can believe.

When you are consistently the new kid in school, you are the easiest target. Military kids live a life of constant transition that few adults could handle. The findings agree. The leader author, Tamika D. Gilreath, assistant professor of social work at the University of Southern California, said in a release, "Such relocations cause youth to lose important social supports and networks."

Um, duh.

Thousands of military spouses could have saved them the work and told them that. But I digress. The study's next finding is what upset me. 

The study reports that the number of military children who reported bringing a gun to school was double that of nonmilitary students - 8.3 percent compared to 3.6 percent. The study also found that students who had endured a deployment carried a gun more frequently than those who had never been through a combat deployment - 5.6 percent compared to 2.8 percent.

The study compared 14,512 students in grades 7, 9 and 11 who attend schools in six, military-connected districts in southern California.

There. With one single study of a miniscule, fraction of military kids, they all have been labeled as the dangerous kids who brandish weapons in the school hallway.

The California Department of Education should be embarrassed to have even released this study.

Let's put this out there now, military kids are not dangerous.

The fact that they are familiar with weapons and talk of war and battle means they have endured a very heavy burden. They have done more to serve their country than the average American.

It does not mean they are going to shoot up their school.

In 2012 the DOD estimated that there were approximately 1.9 million military children in the U.S., ranging in age from newborn to 18-years-old. Of those, 1.3 million were of school age. The Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors estimates that currently 4,897 children have lost a parent on the battlefield since the war began.

In my view, 14,512 students, only a portion of which are military, does not speak for 1.9 million.

Yes, military families are struggling. War is hell - on the battlefield and off. Military children see it every day. Being a soldier is not a 9 to 5 job that can be left at the office. Talk of combat, injuries and weapons, unfortunately, are part of the everyday discussion in military households.

And yes, there are many, many military families, including children, who are struggling with the aftermath of deployments. Mental health issues are rampant. Abuse is happening in military households. Suicide rates are skyrocketing. There are many needs to be met.

I cannot explain why children in these California school districts feel the need to bring a gun to school. Obviously, that is an issue that needs to be addressed and handled. No student should carry a weapon onto campus.

But what I do know is that this report will only help to isolate and ostracize military children, nationwide. Now will non-military families who meet a military child try to keep their distance because they are afraid? Will they suspect that every military child they meet is carrying a weapon? Will this report create a cloud of fear around military kids who attend schools with low military populations? My fear is yes, it will.  

How about, instead of labeling military kids as the potential bad guys, we help make sure that never happens. How about, as a nation, we reach out and give military families the help they need. 

Military kids are among the strongest in the nation. They have shouldered the weight of a decade of war while most of the country continues on as if it never happened. It is time to relieve them of their burden.

Help them, don't label them. 

Rebecca Yarros released her first book to international audiences on a Monday. She went on vacation just a few days later, which was just a few weeks after her husband returned from his latest deployment.

Yep, it's just how military spouses roll. And Rebecca, mother of five, nationally recognized blogger, wife of an aviator and now best-selling author, can roll with the best of them.

Rebecca, also a Salute to Spouses blogger, released her first novel, Full Measures to eager audiences earlier this year. The book, currently only available as an e-book, quickly climbed the charts, not just in the U.S., but around the world.

"You figure that first day it will do ok because my mom is going to buy it. But then it's been out for a week and a half and people I don't know are buying it. It's legitimate. It's more than your mother trying to push it on her book club," Rebecca said.

Full Measures tells the story that Rebecca most fears, the aftermath when a soldier is killed in action. Her main character's father is killed in Afghanistan. Rebecca said the story felt very personal and that she almost didn't write it.

The fact that she wrote the tale during her husband's own deployment to the same region would make most military wives shudder. Rebecca said she began the tome before he left and had to walk away from the keyboard for a month as her own emotions ran high when her husband left. Still, the writing is what kept her going during the sleepless nights.

"I have a hard time sleeping if I know he's awake," she said. "Instead of reading I would write until my eyes crossed."

Rebecca said she makes it a point to write a page every day. That was the easy part. The hard part, was admitting that she was doing more than simply typing away - that she was writing a book.

 "If you tell someone you are doing it, suddenly you have this goal and now you are accountable for it. Anyone can say, 'I want to write a book.' But now you have to finish it," she said.

Moving the story from her computer to audiences was a journey that Rebecca said is not for the weak. She sent letters and her manuscript to 32 agents.

"It is awful and you get rejected and if you can't handle rejection you should not be a writer," she said.  "It can take months for them to read it. I was biting my nails every day."

Her agent is also a military spouse who connected with the novel instantly. Now, readers around the world are doing the same.

"I feel extraordinary blessed to have this career, it's my dream career," she said. "It was a lot of hard work and heartbreak but it is still worth it."

Rebecca still writes at least a page every night and has several projects in the works. Readers hungry for more can check out her work at Salute to Spouses and her own blog, The Only Girl Among Boys http://theonlygirlamongboys.blogspot.com/  which was named 2013's #1 Top Military Mom blog.

The book is the icing on the cake for a busy year in which Rebecca endured a deployment and adopted a baby daughter all within a few months.

"Everything I ever wanted has been handed out so fast it is like drinking from a waterfall," she said.  

Need guidance navigating your career or education path? The DOD has an app for that.

Earlier this year the Spouse Education and Career Opportunities program (SECO) launched a new website called My Individual Career Plan, MyICP for short.

The site provides targeted information and links so that spouses can find information about careers, education, training, licensing and even connect with local companies for job opportunities. Spouses will be connected to licensing requirements for the different states as they PCS and the site can recommend steps needed to reach a specific career or education goals.

The gem in the site may be the connection with local employers. SECO also created the Military Spouse Employment Partnership and currently works with 200 companies and organizations who are all committed to hiring military spouses.

Spouses who log on can see which of those partners have job openings near their current duty station.

To access the site spouses' sponsor must be in active duty status for the Army, Navy, Air Force or Marine Corps, though the site is open to National Guard and Reserve spouses as well.

Leaving the military? It is only open for 180 days to spouses once their service member separates from the military or retires. Surviving spouses of military members who died while on active duty are also eligible.

To use the site, register first at https://myseco.militaryonesource.mil

Oh, technology, how you play with my heart.

You make speaking with our husbands while they are deployed to a combat zone in the middle of nowhere, an easy peasy process.

But last week when I had to rename a file, and failed to notice I used the same name of an existing file, kaboom. All was lost. File gone. The words filtered into the air like they never existed.

And of course, it was the story that is supposed to go live tomorrow. And of course, email is down so my co-worker and I are discussing the logistics of this mini-crisis over Facebook messaging. And of course, it is happening at the end of a very long day which makes it all the more fun.

But it seems that I'm not the only person having a bad day due to computer glitches.

In August, 2013, a series of botched trades were made by Goldman Sachs' internal computer, costing the company upwards of $100 million.

Then, in November, 2013, a glitch in Walmart computers listed pricey electronics worth hundreds of dollars for just $8.85.

And, weeks later, on the day after Christmas, a computer glitch on the Delta Airline website sold flights normally priced at $400 or higher for much less, some as low as just $25.05.

Workers seem to have a love/hate relationship with their technology.

A 2012 study by TrackVia claims computer glitches are the second biggest time-waster at the office and estimates employees spend 11 percent of their day fruitlessly arguing with their computers. This is second only to talking with co-workers, which is estimated to waste 14 percent of an employee's day.

So, my friends, you are reading the blog I furiously wrote after realizing that my own computer glitch has erased the blog that was slated to appear today.

I'm not happy about it. And I'm pretty aggravated at the computer that I adore when it makes my days easy. But hey, it could have been worse as other employees at Goldman, Walmart and Delta have learned.

Technology, you can't live without it, but you can unplug it. Have a great, glitch-free weekend!  

The entire nation sniffed back tears during the Budweiser Super Bowl commercial that welcomed home a young military officer, complete with a ticker tape parade in his hometown.

My Facebook feed is peppered with surprise homecoming videos: dads and moms appearing in uniform at their kids' schools, at their spouse's offices and of one service member who dressed as a pizza delivery man to shock his unsuspecting mom.

Obviously, these are great videos. We love to have our guys and gals in uniform home and safe. Day one, stateside, is always a perfect day.

After the video is posted and everyone heads home, the public moves on with their lives. They leave the scene with a warm heart and the joy of knowing that their friend or neighbor is safe.

What they rarely see is the difficulties that ensue afterwards. Homecoming, and reintegration, can be hell.

The scars of war, whether physical or mental, can strain a family and destroy relationships. Soldiers return haunted, withdrawn and in anguish.

And while they were gone, the world marched on, as did the people they were closest too. Even the strongest marriages can be tested after a deployment ends. For spouses who have been keeping the home front fires burning, it is hard to relinquish control, or sometimes trust that their partner can in fact handle what needs to be done.

Relationships have to be rebuilt. Injuries have to be nursed. Families fall apart and crumble.

While I love the homecoming videos I despise the message they send: we're home now. Everything is ok.

Because often times, it's not.

I want the public to celebrate our homecomings and our victories. But I also want them to stand beside us in the hard times and reach out to lend a hand and understand that the war doesn't end at the front door. These videos, while wonderful, help mask the truth and paint a very wrong picture of life after deployment.

In my perfect world, for every homecoming video there would also be a commercial about the struggles of reintegration. I wish people would show up a week, a month, a year after the ticker tape parade and offer their help. I wish us as military folk would reach out and accept the idea that it is ok to ask for help.

When they come home, my friends, celebrate. Indeed, it is a joyous moment. But when you head home that night, know that your job is not done. As a community our military families need more support than a glorious welcome home party. They need compassion, patience and guidance as they navigate the difficult task of reintegrating as a family and returning to civilian life after a year on the battlefield.

Our service members want us there for the parade. They need us there for the dark, difficult struggles afterwards. Will you be there?

It's Valentine's Day and this day-long love fest may not exactly be your thing.

I love my husband and sure, I like to be appreciated and fawned over, who doesn't? But we've never really made a big deal out of Feb. 14th's comings and goings. We prefer to celebrate days that are more intimately entwined with our lives.

And when I was single, well, St. Valentine came and went without nary a notice.

But whether you skip the holiday, despise it or demand the star treatment from your significant other, one thing is clear about love - it does a body good. Hold up, get your minds up and out of the gutter. There is that, but doctors say being in love is good for our health too.

A report released last year showed that people who were with their spouse or partner, even if the relationship was not a positive one, had a drop in blood pressure. On average the study participants' blood pressure went down one point. Not a huge drop, but significant to note, said lead author of the student Brooks Gump, assistant professor of psychology of the State University of new York at Oswego. 

A 2007 study by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services found the same results and a 2010 study found that people with quality relationships with friends who were not necessarily a spouse or partner, also experienced lower blood pressure when they were with those individuals.

The small decrease in blood pressure may seem insignificant but for the lonely, the study results are staggering.  Study participants who were less social saw a 14.4 point rise in their systolic blood pressure as reported in the Journal of Psychology and Aging.

So, it is not hard to understand why similar studies have also shown that being in a relationship decreases the likelihood of being depressed. A study found that married subjects scored an average of 3.42 points lower on the 84-point depression scale than unmarried participants, according of the Journal of Health and Social Behavior.

And in an interview with ABC News, scientists from the National Institute of Medicine said studies around the globe have repeatedly yielded the same results: people in isolation, or who are disconnected from others, have an increased risk of dying prematurely.

Love, it seems, is good for you.

So, step away from your computer. Go find your partner, good friend or your children and spend the afternoon connecting and appreciating each other. It will make you feel good today, and possibly, for years to come.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Congress knew there would be a fight. They had to. When they sliced 1 percentage point off of military pension's annual cost-of-living increases, they must have known that the discussion would hardly end with the passing of the budget.

But did military members expect part of the public outcry to declare those in uniform as greedy and selfish?

In a January, 2014 editorial piece, The Washington Post calls the cut "an exceedingly modest one on a pension plan that is already far more generous than private-sector equivalents."

True. U.S. military retirement benefits are among the best in the nation, if not the planet. According to the Post's math, an E-7 with 20 years of active service would receive retirement pay of $1.734 million over the course of their life. After the budget cuts, that amount drops to $1.626 million. The paper does not define how many years that amount is calculated for.

The paper also points to the medical benefits retirees and their families can receive as well as the fact that many retirees continue to work another 20 years in the civilian sector. A soldier who enlists at 18-years-old can retire from the military at the ripe old age of 38.

Military interest groups have called the move a break in faith. Many of my friends see it is a lie. They were told upon enlisting that they would receive a benefit that now, after serving 20 years and in some cases, suffering debilitating wounds on the battlefield, those benefits are being pulled.

But the public, they seem to just see us as being greedy. The Post editorial calls the retirement cut a "small shift in resources toward training and equipping those who might have to defend us in the future."

The Post staff also points out that the service members who bear the brunt of the battlefield injuries, never reach retirement status and therefore never receive the benefit.

This week, military interest groups are rattling their sabers again after the Pentagon announced a possible reduction in the monies it gives to on-base commissaries, meaning many of those facilities may close. Veterans and service members again claimed foul. You are cutting our benefits, they say. You are breaking promises, they say. 

The public, however, seems to want us to toughen up and get over it.

An article in Time magazine this week agrees that the defense budget has shrunk overall in comparison to the total amount the nation spends on Social Security, Medicare and Medicaid.

But, Time is also quick to point to the Pentagon's recent Quadrennial Review of Military Compensation which shows an increase in compensation of 60 percent per service member since the attacks of 9-11. Time quotes the report, "Military compensation has outpaced civilian wages and salary growth since 2002."

So are we being greedy or are we actually due all these benefits?

I think it's a little bit of both.

Does the retirement cut feel like a slap in the face? Absolutely. But 1 percent is a miniscule amount, especially when most retirees can and do continue on with a second career. My concern is for retirees who are 100 percent injured and unable to work again. That smaller crowd should be exempt from any future pay cuts. The rest of us can learn to budget around the loss and maybe admit that we are being a tad selfish.

The commissary cuts. Dear Pentagon, slow your roll. This is a huge slap in the face, not just to retirees but to all service members. The bulk of the people using these facilities are not retirees receiving a pension and a second paycheck. They are young service members and their families. I can personally tell you that the commissary is what is helping them stretch their money from paycheck to paycheck.

As retirees, we live nowhere near a commissary and our grocery bill has tripled now that we shop in a civilian grocery store. The commissary benefit is a stable of the military's benefit package and military families will suffer without it.

So, fellow military members and spouses, are we willing to give a little? Are we willing to take a step back and see the larger picture? Our country is in trouble. We have always been the first to step up and protect it. A cut in COLA for retirees could mean more money for weapons and training. It could save the on-base commissaries and make life easier for those who come after us.

Take a long, hard look. Are we being selfish? I have to say, in this instance, I think we are.

Read the full Washington Post editorial

Read the full Time article

The DFAS website shut down temporarily last week when thousands of military users logged on in an attempt to access their W-2s and finish their tax filing. Technically the IRS isn't open for business until today so you have time to double-check your numbers and peruse the new tax law changes for 2013.

Some of those laws, probably don't concern most military families.

For example, if you made more than $450,000 in 2013 your tax rate is now 39.6 percent.

However, there are many new rules that may change the amount you owe Uncle Sam.

First, the Recovery Act of 2009 that granted everyone with a child a hefty credit has been extended for five years. Say it with me, whoohoo! There are even larger credits now for households with three or more children.

New deductions have been added too. Including,

- deductions for school teacher expenses

- tuition and fees deduction

- mortgage insurance premiums treated as residence interest

If you moved out of housing last year and bought a new home, you may also qualify for tax credits for purchasing an energy-efficient home or appliance. Did you buy a plug-in electric vehicle? That will earn you a credit as will the purchase of an alternative fuel vehicle.

One of the biggest changes for 2013 come as a result of the U.S. Supreme Court finding the Defense of Marriage Act unconstitutional. Now, any same-sex couple, legally married in jurisdictions that recognize their union, will file as married on their federal tax records, regardless of what state they live in.

The details of all these changes and more are available online at the IRS website, www.irs.gov.

Don't feel like wading though the government lingo and red tape? Military One Source has again partnered with H&R Block to provide free access to the company's online filing tool. Once you register with Military One Source you will have access not just to the program but to tax experts who will answer your questions around the clock.

Happy filing!

Our PCS coincides with the start of the new year, what a great time to hop on those resolutions, right? But I think a PCS, regardless of season, is always a good time to set new goals and start anew.

Our family was very active while in Hawaii, with scouts, school and community projects. But I felt like we lacked time at home, together. In 2014, after cross-country flight, we awoke to cold mornings and colder nights, stuck inside far from the Hawaiian sun we learned to love. What better time to build in regular family game nights or read together by the fireplace?

At our old station we had lots of grownup friends but our time with them was spent organizing children's events. Once that ball gets rolling, it's hard to jump out of the way. You become the "go to" people for a lot and we all know it can be hard to say no.

My husband and I have made a pact to be active here but to carve out time for just the adults as well. Last week when I was asked to be a scout leader I politely declined and offered my services in a smaller role. Success, already!

And as much as I miss heading to the beach several times a week to let my kids burn some energy, it burned mine too.  I was left moving several huge boxes of craft supplies that I never took the time to turn into completed crafts.

I'm not going to lie, it was the same box of supplies that was dragged from the duty station before Hawaii to the island. Well, no more. Mama is going to get her craft on! I have replaced just a few hours a week of running from activity to activity to stay home and spend time with me, doing what I want. Crazy concept, right?

The next time you PCS is a great time to reassess how you are using your time and what you want to accomplish. We all hate to leave behind the lives we have built but rather than mourn those losses, celebrate the opportunity to recognize a job well done and move on to the next phase.

Take time to decide carefully how you want your days to be spent. More time focused on running and exercise? More community roles? Heck, more sit-down dinners at home? Your slate is open and hopefully, your calendar is too.  Take advantage of that to reach your goals at your new duty station.