All I wanted to do was give the guy money. I had a bill to pay. I wanted to pay it. But I had to prove it was my account first. So, I gave the telephone operator my name, address and account number.

I couldn’t, however, verify the phone number they had on file for me. After seven moves and probably even more cell phones, I had no idea what phone number this credit card, who I had been doing business with for 12 years, might possibly have listed under my name.

No number, no payment. Seriously.

Welcome to the list of annoying problems that only military spouses, and maybe perhaps random, wandering nomads, experience.

1. You have no idea who has what phone number listed for you. I gave the guy mentioned above six different phone numbers from four states. No luck. Now, I have to wait for his official form to arrive in the mail so that I can correct it and actually pay my bill. Here’s to hoping he’s going to send it to the address I gave him and not something listed from 2008.
2. After a PCS move, on the first day of school, you sit down to fill out your kids’ paperwork. The line that reads, “emergency contact” makes you break into a cold sweat. And they want three names and numbers! You quickly decide that you can, in fact, list your best friend who is still stationed 2,000 miles away. It never specifically says they have to show up, just be contacted, right?
3. No, your social security number. Wait, you want mine? I can rattle off my husband’s social security number without issue but after retirement, suddenly mine became of importance. I looked at the clerk with a blank stare for a few seconds as I tried to comprehend her question and recall whether or not I even had one of those.
4. Long distance relationships. And I’m not even talking about keeping the spark alive while your spouse is deployed. Most likely all your closest friends live several thousand miles away. Your only option for years at a time is to communicate online and via phone. And frankly, this stinks. Sometimes a girl just wants to sit around with her closest girlfriends. It’s hard to do when they are all scattered across the globe.
5. When your spouse leaves the military and enters the civilian world, you are no longer important at his workplace. There are no spouse meetings. No one is interested in meeting you or keeping you and your family involved. You may never even meet his boss and certainly will never set eyes the guy’s spouse. Trust me, this is a blessing and a curse.
6. It’s time to find a job. You’ve got the skills. You’ve got the incredible resume. You have references, but not necessarily their contact info. In the military community you move every three years and most likely, so do most of your references. Of course, you don’t consider this until you are in the interview, filling out that form and realize that your boss two years ago who offered a glowing review for you anywhere, anytime, moved since then. Twice. Sigh.

So, next time you find yourself caught in a spouse-only conundrum, don’t worry. Just remember, the benefits always outweigh the minor inconveniences. Besides, you can put us down as the emergency contact. We just have to answer the phone, right?

In June, members of the Iraqi military were taken prisoner by ISIS. And they haven't been heard from since. ISIS claims to have massacred 1,700 Iraqi security force members.

Their families, military families, were confused, angry and terrified. They wanted answers. They demanded answers from the government they bravely served as the wives, children, parents and siblings of the nation's protectors.

A group of 100 of them stormed the parliament in Baghdad in early September. And they refused to leave until they were given answers.

We might have done the same.

They are a world away. We don't speak the same language, wear the same type of clothes, eat the same food or practice the same religion. But we are all military families. Their lives, like ours, are dedicated to serving their nation. Their lives, like ours, revolve around the needs of others. Like us they sacrifice as loved ones are killed and injured in the line of duty.

As we flip through the channels and catch glimpses of wars and atrocities unfolding in other nation's around the world we each take a moment to remember that they are more like us than we may be willing to admit. That we are all military families and we all understand the difficulties, frustration and pride that comes with that duty.

Their fight is not ours. But we understand in many ways the uphill battle they face through their military lifestyle. Keep them in your thoughts and wish them well. We are all military spouses. We are all one.

This was a busy PCS year across most of the services. Thousands of families moved. Thousands of spouses left jobs they loved behind.

Now, the search begins. But finding a job in a new town can be daunting, and, take a very long time. Our family has heard from friends around the country, both veteran and civilian, who are still out of work after six months of plastering their resume around town.

And for many, the future looks bleak.

Hopefully, the impending holiday seasons can help turn things around for many of us.

Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas bring with them merriment, mischief and extra jobs – as haunted house staffers, pumpkin pickers, Black Friday cashiers and exhausted, holiday season extra help. Every business from costume shops to UPS to malls typically hires more hands to lighten the load.

Retailers are the biggest employers but this may be a time to look for an unusual job that will lift your spirits as much as it fills your wallet. Every mall in America needs to hire staff to tend to the jolly old elf. Haunted hayrides, houses, cornfields and the like all need a crew to scream their way through the night. Nonprofits may be hiring hourly help to handle the extra casework. Moms and dads will definitely be hiring childcare workers to tuck the kids in on New Year’s Eve.

And sometimes, seasonal jobs turn into fulltime work for good employees.

So, if you are still looking for a job after a PCS, don’t despair. Holiday hiring is coming. Begin Googling local companies and search their online, careers pages to find out who is hiring and when. Tussling with the holiday shopping crowd may not be your dream job, but eventually the job you need may turn into a job you love.

It’s happening.

Several years ago as the drawdown of American forces in Iraq became a reality, large non-profits began discussing the inevitable turn of public attention that would come with it. With no troops deployed to high profile locations, the donations, they feared, would dry up.

Leaders in the industries that help care for military families were right to be concerned. They knew that even though the deployment might be over, military families are far from over it, and in fact, may need more help than ever.

Now, the military itself is beginning to turn away and march on.

At the beginning of the Iraq War, the Army created hundreds of new civilian jobs as part of the family readiness support assistant program. These new hires were tasked with helping military units establish family readiness programs and provide support to volunteers, spouses and military members.

In some communities, these networks of support worked brilliantly. In others, they failed miserably.

Either way, by 2015, more than half of this support staff will be gone. Nearly 200 FRSAs will be pink-slipped by next year leaving one FRSA for every 1,000 FORSCOM soldiers, Northwest Military.com reported.

The reason is simple. Combat operations are drawing down. Thousands of soldiers too are being sent packing back to civilian life. The face of the Army is changing.

But the damage done by a decade of war has gone nowhere. In fact, many may argue, families are suffering more now than during any deployment.

And they may quickly find that there will be little help.

Major commands are rushing to train volunteers to fill the void left by paid FRSA staff members. Military families will be required to again rely only on each other in many situations.

When they look outside the gate for assistance, they may find none there either.

Private nonprofit groups that service military families exploded onto the scene in force between 2001 and 2012. Now nearly 7,800 organizations have registered with the federal government to help service members, reports The New York Times.

The effort is there, but the money is not. The Times reported that the non-profits cannot keep pace with the growing demands of caring for veterans and their families.

So, where will we go when the going gets tough? Who will help us in our darkest hours?

We will.

It’s time to take back our military neighborhoods, help, reach out, love each other and be present for all of our sisters in arms. Volunteer, take a younger spouse under your wing, sit and just listen.

The rest of the nation may have moved on, but we will forever have each other’s backs.

My son is only in sixth grade, but he’s deeply embroiled in the “what to do when I grow up” debate. It’s no surprise to us that the boy who devours biographies of world leaders, prefers History Channel documentaries to cartoons and owns thousands of historically accurate tin soldiers is leaning toward studying military history or archeology.

We want him to excel in a field that he loves. We want him to be able to find a job that fuels his passion, not just his checkbook. But, he also is going to have to buy his own food someday. And I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t concerned about how many history buffs the economy really has jobs waiting for.

So, quietly, I have been checking out the job market for history buffs like my son. So far, it’s not exactly pretty.

Which led me to another search, what should students be studying to secure their place in the workforce? Where exactly are the jobs?

U.S. News and World Report has ranked the 100 best jobs based on hiring demand, potential growth in demand over the next 10 years, salary, stress level and work-life balance.

Sadly, historian is nowhere on that list. But a lot of other jobs are. Including house painter at number 100 and software developer at number 1. In between there are a lot of jobs, including a majority in the healthcare and engineering fields.

So, are you walking through those classroom doors next month with undecided checked next to your major? You may want to check this list out. It may help you find the perfect job that gives you, and kids like my son, plenty of time to tend to your hobbies and earn a paycheck.

Shock. Surprise. Sadness.

The entire nation was caught off guard this week when comedian extraordinaire Robin Williams died.

Authorities suspect he committed suicide. That is when the ugly rose to the top. Comments on social media questioned how a man so lively, so funny, so warm could be suffering so badly that he would take his own life.

But mental illness, depression and the decision to commit suicide is complex. And recovering is not as simple as reaching out or realizing how beloved you are.

And suicide is not just something that happens to war veterans, even though media coverage in the last five years has focused on that demographic. The CDC reported that in 2009, more people died from suicide in the U.S. than in car accidents.

From 1999 to 2010, the suicide rate among Americans ages 35 to 64 rose by nearly 30 percent, meaning, more than 17 people per 100,000 in that age group took their own life.

How can you help?

Share this number – to people you know are struggling, to people you don’t suspect are struggling. To co-workers, neighbors, friends, family, heck, hang it in the bathroom stalls at work where people can copy it down privately. But pass it out, to everyone.

You never know whose live you may change.

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

1-800-273-8255

And to our beloved Robin Williams, who spent a good portion of his time meeting and entertaining sick children, military troops and the downtrodden, we will always be thankful to you for sharing your gift with the world. May you be at peace.

PCS season is winding down. Even before the boxes are unpacked, many military spouses are perusing the want ads in their new hometown.

One of the best ways to network and prepare yourself for interviews is to attend a job fair.

But don’t just show up in jeans and a t-shirt to check it out. Consider this your practice run at acing an interview and delivering your pitch to potential employers.

Never been to one? Don’t worry. Check out our Job Fair To Do List:

1. Find one! This is really as simple as typing the phrase “job fair” into Google. If you search the term military spouse/veteran job fair, you get even better hits. The Hiring Our Heroes program hosts job fairs every month around the nation specifically for military families. To check out their entire list, visit https://hoh.greatjob.net/sc/index.action  or visit the list provided by EmploymentGuide.com at http://www.employmentguide.com/job-fairs/browse
2. Register. If you stumble upon an ad for a job fair happening today, the odds are good that you won’t get in. Like most things in life, you have to plan ahead to attend a job fair. The Hiring Our Heroes fairs fill up quick. Research them now, register and stick to your plan to attend.
3. Dress for the Job. Fair warning: you will not walk out of a job fair with a job. This is an opportunity for job seekers to learn more about companies and recruiters to answer their questions and make contact with potential employees. You probably won’t even walk out with an interview. But, it is an opportunity to make an impression. Dress, act and speak like a professional. It may help you stand out to those same recruiters later.
4. Bring your resume. And bring lots of copies. And don’t be shy passing them out. Make sure your resume is ready to go, is correct, complete and free of spelling errors. Veterans should also bring copies of their DD214.
5. Practice your sales pitch, before you arrive. Come up with a 1-minute sales pitch that sells, you! Know what you are going to say and practice saying it. You will want to hit the major points: your education and experience.
6. Create a list of questions for them. What are skills do they prefer their employees to have? What is it like to work at their company? This is not just a chance for them to get to know you but for you to get to know them and weed out companies whose schedules or other standards may not be a great fit for you. For example, don’t want to travel on the job? This may be your chance to find out employees travel 90 percent of the time.

Job fairs are a great way to learn more about the employers in your area and make potentially valuable contacts for your job search. It can be tough putting yourself out there but attending a job fair will help you refine your interview skills and, hopefully, give your more resources for your job search.

Good luck!

New school year, new opportunities, new writers here at Salute to Spouses!

As you gather your fresh, new school supplies and back them all neatly into your bag for the first day back to class, we have a fresh, new crop of bloggers to accompany you on your back to school journey!

Just like you, these ladies, all military spouses, have tackled homework assignments with newborn babies, balanced late night homework assignments with late night, overtime hours at work and desperately searched for work after a PCS move.

Please help me welcome our new writers and join them on their blogging adventures for Salute to Spouses! Check out their brief biographies below!

Army wife Holly Bates holds an MBA in Human Resources and is conducting her own federal job search after a recent PCS move. With just three years to go before her husband retires, Holly will share best tips and practices for finding a job that you love and preparing for a huge life shift as the joy and difficulties of military retirement loom.

After seven years as a military spouse, and multiple deployments, Mandy Rebmann knows the ins and outs of dealing with military finance and making a household run on the ups and downs of military pay. She also has spent 12 years as a professional in the finance industry. If you’re looking for finance advice and information, Mandy will be delivering it to your inbox every month!

 Moving and deployment can be tough. It can be tougher with a family member who has special educational or medical needs. Army spouse Tiffany Shedd has faced many of these issues as she navigates the military medical system to find care for her son who has been diagnosed with epilepsy. Read her blog to get the latest information on the EFMP program and the inspiration to keep going with the going gets tough. 

When you can’t find a job you love, sometimes, you have to create one! Army wife Lisa Kain turned entrepreneur when she create the patriotic jewelry company, United Grace. Every month she will profile inspiring military spouses who invent, create and lead their own companies all while balancing the exhaustion of deployment, training, PC and the day to day business of running a household.

Welcome ladies! It’s going to be a great fall at Salute to Spouses!

I got nothing.

Ever go to work, school, extracurricular activities, heck, even visits with friends and think, yep, I am just a giant blob of unproductive exhaustion.

Military spouses tend to fly through their days at 150 miles per hour, tending to house, kids, husband, school, job and all the little tasks each of those items requires. Eventually, you try to slow down but a body in motion, well, it stays in motion. And when it stops, everything flying at warp speed behind it, keeps going.

Until it crashes into you. Leaving you in a heap of to do lists, unfinished class projects, piles of summer camp laundry, school supplies to label and boxes that still have not been unpacked from your PCS – last year.

You know it is all sitting there. You know it isn’t going away. But still, you just can’t.

Motivation and even any care you had to finish it, is gone.

Ya got nothing.

It’s ok. We get it. It’s that time of year, when summer boredom kicks in for the kids, summer frustration sets in for you as you try to entertain them and still get things done, PCS is either over or dragging out just too long and the start of school is right around the corner. Hooray for school! Only after all the shopping, labeling, arguing over dress codes and paying for books, labs and sports gear has faded into memory.

It’s ok. Take a day. Collapse onto the couch and watch a day’s worth of mindless, recorded television while the kids scream and make a giant mess.

Then tomorrow, get back up and tackle it all, piece by piece. Because, you got something.

You’re talented, smart and ready to take on the world. You just needed a moment to mourn how little you thought you had in order to see how much you are.

You’ve got everything. Now, make the most of it. 

During PCS you move away from friends, lose your favorite hair salon and sometimes, have to walk away from a job you love.

The sting cuts deeper because you lose a career you may have loved, as well as the income that comes with it. The Military Officers Association of America reports that military spouses lose six to nine months of income after a PCS move as they search for another job.

In years past, military spouses were not eligible for unemployment payments because the rules dictated that they made a choice to leave. Military spouses cried foul, legislators reacted and many states began to recognize that no, we did not choose, Uncle Sam told us to leave.

Only a handful of states offered unemployment benefits to PCSing military spouses at first. Now, 45 states and the District of Columbia grant the benefits to military spouses who leave on military orders.

States who continue to deny these benefits are: Idaho, Louisiana, North Dakota, Ohio and Vermont.

Now, there is no sweeping national law or benefit. Each state has enacted its own set of rules regarding unemployment for military spouses.

To learn the specifics for your state, visit the website for the National Conference of State Legislators at http://www.ncsl.org/research/military-and-veterans-affairs/military-veterans-affairs-state-leg-database.aspx

In their search box type: spousal employment issues

You will find information about your individual’s state’s unemployment rules as well as a trove of information regarding the rights of military families and state laws.

You can also visit MOAA’s site for more information: http://moaablogs.org/spouse/2012/03/forty-states-provide-military-spouses-eligibility-for-unemployment-compensation/

The organization does a great job of following legislative issues that impact military families.