You miraculously finished all your shopping without the children finding your stash of presents.

You made it through every holiday dinner, gathering and festivity without bursting into tears.

You stayed up late every night to make sure the kids had treats to share at school, at scouts, made it to every party, went to see Santa, twice, and watched all the classic holiday movies on television.

You probably finished wrapping the last present around midnight Christmas eve as you hustled around to make sure everything was ready.

You probably were checking your email every 30 minutes or so to see if he had written. What did he have for Christmas dinner? Did he get Christmas dinner? Did your package arrive in time? Does he like the pictures you sent of the kids?

You probably woke up on Christmas morning to the sounds of delighted children and worked hard to keep that smile. Deep down you probably wanted to do was sob. All you wanted for Christmas was your husband, here. And he is not.

You cleaned up all the paper and wrappings by yourself and dragged it out to the trash can. You managed to put together every toy that needed assembled without swearing out loud. You made Christmas morning breakfast, you made Christmas dinner. You cleaned up.

You made it.

Christmas as a single parent is one of the toughest jobs in the world. Christmas with your partner deployed, that's another challenge altogether.

But you did it. You are stronger than you know.

And we are proud of you.

This is our first Christmas as a retired family. And now that we live far from base, as the only military family around, I am struck by how profoundly I miss and appreciate our military brethren.

I miss, believe it or not, the unit Christmas parties where everyone would finally let down their guard, walk away from their desk and actually sit and relax, if for just a minute.

 I miss the tree lighting on base and the two-hour line for Santa that everyone whined about but refused to miss and the annoying bags of free junk my kids would collect from all the vendors who circled the event.

I miss bringing Christmas dinner to my husband on those rare years when he had to pull duty and bringing hot chocolate at midnight on Christmas Eve to the gate guards.

I miss knowing that when I wish someone Happy Holidays they know it is meant in love, not in sarcasm. Our military community is full of many different religions, all celebrating their own glorious holy days at this time of year.

A greeting of "Happy Holidays" is the sincerest way to wish every one of them peace and kindness.

Our new civilian community, however, mired in their selfish ignorance, sees a cheery greeting of 'Happy Holidays' as a strike to the heart against their own religion. They see diversity as weakness. They fear difference. They hate without cause.

This breaks my heart.

I am proud that my children had the opportunity to travel and to learn about other religions and cultures. My children love others for who they are. They are an anomaly in the town where we retired.

When a new neighbor came to our home and asked about  painting on the wall, which we had purchased in China, and another that we had purchased in Japan, as we tried to explain the difference, she told us "They were all the same anyways."

After a few minutes of her continuing on about how she didn't care much about other places because they didn't believe like she did, I quickly and politely moved the conversation out the door.

When she left, my children were aghast. They told me simply, "Mommy, she's not a very nice person."

No baby, she's not.

So, to our military brothers and sisters, I wish you the happiest of holiday seasons and wonderful, love-filled celebrations, for whatever you celebrate! It is a beautiful time of year and military families are beautiful people. Enjoy!

Ahh, the most magical time of year: the white elephant gift exchange at the office.

There are two types of co-workers. The ones who have a good time with this tradition and actually try to make it fun for the other type of co-worker: the ones who grab something dumb at the gas station on the way into work and sit through the experience counting the minutes.

Even if you embrace the gift exchange as an opportunity to flex your creativity, you may not have a lot of time to find the perfect item. Here is a look at the best white elephant gift exchange ideas floating around the internet to get your creative juices flowing.

Pinterest – www.pinterest.com Why you would start at any other site first makes no sense. Type “white elephant ideas” into the search bar and you have your shopping guide for the next 30 years. My favorite on this site was taking leftover gift cards that have very small amounts left on them (think under $2), writing the amount on the card and wrapping them up as one gift. Funny but still useable. This site gives a lot of ideas for homemade gifts too.

Dodo Gifts - http://dodoburd.com/white-elephant-gift-ideas Cheap, goofy, what more could you want? Some items are truly gross, such as the coin drop bank shaped like a man’s rear end that makes fart noises when you drop coins in. Others are just bizarre. Want to buy your co-workers a unicorn horn they can wear or a yodeling pickle? You can do both here, on the cheap. Most items are under $15.

Happy Money Saver - http://happymoneysaver.com/20-hilarious-white-elephant-gift-ideas/ More bizarre finds at this site including glow-in-the-dark toilet paper which honestly I might buy for my kids anyway, and a Chia pet shaped like Barack Obama.

Amazon – If you type white elephant gift into Amazon, even this retail giant has a list fully prepared for you. Be warned, the majority of the gag gifts that pop up are based on farts, poo and sexual innuendos.

If you are looking for white elephant gifts that are more useful than funny, check out these sites:

Business News Daily - http://www.businessnewsdaily.com/7443-secret-santa-gifts.html This site has great ideas for useful office gifts such as a mug warmer, stylus pen set and tech friendly gloves. Most of the gifts are under $15.

The British company, Find Me a Gift, http://www.findmeagift.co.uk/secret-santa/ has secret Santa lists for Him, Her, boys, girls, naught and work appropriate. And most of it is normal stuff you would actually want to receive.

If you are really stuck, simply bring a white elephant that you folded yourself with a towel, using these instructions: http://www.wikihow.com/Fold-a-Towel-Elephant

Happy Shopping!

In case you missed it, Barbie did it again.

Made us cringe. Made us face palm. Made us wonder if the execs at Mattel really look at the products they sell.

Earlier this month blogger Pamela Ribon wrote a fabulous piece about the children’s book, “Barbie, I Can Be a Computer Engineer.” Find the full blog here: http://gizmodo.com/barbie-f-cks-it-up-again-1660326671

Strong language aside, she’s spot on. When you first see the book, you think, heck, yes! Let’s teach girls to embrace math and science. And then you open the book to find out that Barbie does neither of those things. Instead, she relies on two boys to help rescue her when she can’t figure out how to repair her laptop – even after her professor tells her how to do it.

Instead, she resorts to a playful pillow fight with her sister while the boys do all the work.

Gaaahh.

I don’t fault Barbie for seeking help. I wouldn’t see a problem if the boys had walked Barbie through the steps and taught her how to do it herself rather than just came to her rescue and did it for her.

But seriously, why are we teaching our girls, and our boys for that matter, that they need rescued? Why can’t we teach them to learn, to ask questions, to take part rather than sit back and let someone else do it for them?

I think I would be just as furious if Barbie had let her fabulous, brunette, computer-savvy, female friend do all the work while she sat back on her heels. Sure, computer is fixed but how does that help Barbie for more than the immediate moment?

Teach your children, boys and girls to learn, to question, to seek to help themselves. Show them and help them understand, don’t just do the tasks for them. Take the time to sit with them and help them work through their homework, not just complete it.

Our girls, and our boys, deserve to live in world where they can be anything they want because we are willing to teach them and, in return, expect greatness. Not because we are willing to bail them out when it gets difficult.

 Ribon’s original blog, and the subsequent online clamoring from angry moms drew this response from Mattel on Barbie’s Facebook page:

“The Barbie I Can Be A Computer Engineer book was published in 2010. Since that time we have reworked our Barbie books. The portrayal of Barbie in this specific story doesn't reflect the Brand's vision for what Barbie stands for. We believe girls should be empowered to understand that anything is possible and believe they live in a world without limits. We apologize that this book didn't reflect that belief. All Barbie titles moving forward will be written to inspire girls’ imaginations and portray an empowered Barbie character.”

We will see. Until then, I can empower and inspire my children without Barbie’s help.

Small business owners are at a disadvantage when it comes to advertising. Marketing materials are expensive. Copy space in newspapers, billboards and magazines is usually out of reach.

So, military spouses, stay-at-home moms and entrepreneurs who run their businesses out of their garage turn to Facebook to spread the word, often with a lot of success.

It’s a great place to tell friends about their new business. It’s a great place for their friends’ friends to spread the word.
It’s also a great place to kill your business if you are not careful with your posts.

Last week, the ugly American I profiled, who ranted on about how she felt she deserved access to the base and credit for living near a base as a civilian, posted her soliloquy on her personal Facebook. The right place for it, realistically.

The problem? She owns her own small business and peddles Thirty-One Gifts everywhere she goes. Between her angry rants she also posts upcoming sales and specials on the bags, luggage tags and lunchboxes.

The bigger problem? A huge percentage of her customer base are the very people she was insulting with her venom-filled posts.
And, she leaves her page open to the public so everyone can see her business advertisements. Now, everyone can also see her nasty, insulting comments as well.

And that, friends, is basic business 101. Don’t be a jerk to your customers. They will walk away. And experienced business owners know it.

I sent an email to the folks at Thirty-One Gifts about the consultant’s behavior and within a matter of minutes, received a heart-felt, deeply apologetic letter. Within hours, I received two more, from two more executives, and a phone call.

Robin Hager, Career and Guideline Support at Thirty-One Gifts, wrote in an email, “We try to remind our consultants that when they post something online, that while they are not employees of Thirty-One Gifts, they do represent us, even though it is not our views, it still impacts us as a company.”

Corporate headquarters immediately spun into damage control mode. The local rep? She continue to spit nails and hate at the very people whose backs she built her local business on.

So as a once loyal customer, I copy and pasted her comments and sent them with an apology letter to my friends who I had turned into her customers over the years. They were disgusted. And passed the information on to their friends.

And with one hate-filled post, this small business owner alienated about 100 potential customers. Did it kill her business overnight? No. But eventually, it might.

The National Federation of Independent Business offers a list of dos and don’ts for using a personal Facebook page to promote a small business.
Number four on the list: “There’s no one way to use Facebook. You could start by posting occasional business updates, in case someone ever needs your service, and gauge reactions to them. Personal interests are fine, but avoid posting anything that might turn readers off.”

And send customers away.

Own a small business? Either clean up your personal social media or do not include customers and business associates on your pages.

And if you think your personal opinions and beliefs are something that can’t close your doors, think again.
The families behind the television juggernauts Duck Dynasty, cancelled after the family’s rants on their personal views angered viewers, and 19 Kids and Counting, which is now facing the same fight, might tell you otherwise.

Let me introduce you to the ugly American.

She was sitting at the gate of a major military installation last weekend, waiting to get a pass to attend a birthday party behind the gate. Apparently, she had had enough and blurted her frustrations out on Facebook.

Sure. Sitting at the gate stinks. New security measures have been put in place at gates around the nation meaning the wait to enter could stretch to an hour or more. I get it. It is frustrating. I agree. The largest military on the planet surely must be able to find a way to streamline the gate system.

It’s what she shouted across the internet next that made my blood boil.

 They “have been sitting there for 25 minutes now. They just called #18 and [they are] #31. This is beyond ridiculous. Tell me why it's okay for me to teach military children and work and live side by side with military families but we can't get onto post without all of this??!!! It was bad enough before with the vehicle checks. I think local residents should be treated with a little more respect from our military. We put up with a LOT because we live next to Ft. [***], you'd think we would be treated a little better than this. I'm disgusted and furious!!!!!”

Are you kidding me?

Her friends offered advice, through obviously gritted teeth.

They politely suggested her that those who invited her on post should have warned her about the security changes. Others reminded her, “They put their lives on the line for us the least we can do is be willing to be inconvenienced a little by getting a pass or waiting in a line.”

Normal people in a rage would have stopped. Not this ugly American. She continued to demand to be allowed on base. The rules didn’t work anyway, she said. She deserved credit, she said.

“One thing that does annoy me is the lack of respect for NON-military families around here. I've lived here for 14 years and used to drive on post as easily as driving to Walmart. [My husband] has lived here his entire 47 yrs. We've seen a lot of people come and go, we've prayed and cried with and for families who've lost loved ones. I've waited at [****] a few times for my brother to return from deployment. We are very much military connected, but because we don't have that status and an ID card, we don't get any credit for any of it. Maybe that's why I'm so annoyed at the ridiculous system of getting on post.”

Ok, I’ll back up for a minute. Yes, I’m sure she has friends in the military. She says her brother has served. Certainly, she is part of the military support system.

This, however, in no way, shape or form, affords her the same benefits that are granted to actual military members and their spouses. That means no ID card, no base access.

Did she stop to think for one second that combat veterans who have been wounded but did not retire also do not have ID cards and also have to stop at the gate for a pass? And sit in that very long line.

Even as a military spouse, I’ve been stopped at the gate. My car has been searched. I’ve been turned away, with an ID card. It’s called national security measures.

Mothers, fathers, brothers and sisters of soldiers killed in action don’t have ID cards either. They will be sitting in the same line if they need to come on base to tend to their dead relatives’ paperwork.

But that doesn’t matter to this gal. She puts up with so much. She is entitled. She deserves to waltz onto base without anyone questioning her. She has lived here the longest! That makes her special, darn it!

Here’s the thing, sweetie. If you want “credit” as you say for living the military life, than actually join and live the military life. Yes, having a brother, cousin, son, neighbor serving in the military is not easy. Of course you are considered part of their military family.

But that is very different from serving on the front lines or being the spouse at home trying to hold it together.

When is the last time this gal gave birth while watching on CNN the town her husband was fighting in get blown to smithereens? When was the last time she got a phone call from her husband for the first time in three weeks only to have the satellite signal drop two minutes into the call? How many times has she moved in the last 10 years? How many times have her children switched schools, been made fun of for being the new kid or came home and announced they didn’t want to make friends because they knew they were going to move anyway?

It is hard to have extended family in the military. But being the actual military member or the spouse means dealing with a reality that most civilians could never imagine, and that includes this gal and other extended family members.

And I have yet to come across a military spouse worth her salt who demanded credit for the things she has done. Military families serve out of duty and honor. They do not demand credit in a hasty, nasty Facebook post.

The mere fact that she would suggest that she deserves the same or more respect for her role in the military community than a military spouse or service member is selfish and grotesque.

I am disgusted. I am furious.

This, my friends, is exactly the type of person we do not want and do not need in our military community or in our support systems. This type of person, who feels entitled to have all the benefits of being military without ever actually serving in the military or as a spouse, is the same as the person who wears medals they never earned.

 In her rage, she reminded her Facebook readers that “after today, all invitations to events on post will be respectfully declined. Parties, concerts, fairs, runs, etc. will not be attended by me and mine and I will laugh when I see events advertised as ‘open to the general public’.”

Trust me sweetie, after that rant, you’re not welcome.

On Tuesday the nation will take a moment to pause from work and duty to spend the day honoring our veterans.

There will be parades and ceremonies.

Many national retailers are doing their part to offer extra freebies and savings to veterans that day.

Deb Stanley at Channel 7 News in Denver has compiled an annual list of Veterans' Day freebies that is the most complete and up to date. There will be free meals, free coffee, free car washes and extra discounts at big box retailers, nationwide.

While some offers are granted to military members and their spouses, most of them are not. Remember ladies, this holiday is to honor the veterans. Military Spouse Day is in the spring!

Check out this list and check the listings in your local paper for local deals for veterans next week. As always, call the business before you head out on Tuesday to make sure they are participating in the sale.

And, don't forget your ID. Most businesses will require proof of service and that can include a VA Universal Access Card, Military I.D., DD-214 (Discharge Papers), Veterans Service Organization Card (VSO's include groups like the VFW, DAV, AmVets, MOAA, FRA, and the American Legion), or in some cases businesses will accept a picture of the veteran in uniform.

Thank you for your service. Happy Veterans' Day!

Here is a preview of  Deb's list, which appears on Channel 7's website. For the full list, please visit:

http://www.thedenverchannel.com/money/debbies-deals/veterans-day-deals-freebies-2014-include-applebees-golden-corral-red-robin-hooters-starbucks

Also, check out the list at military.com at http://www.military.com/veterans-day/veterans-day-military-discounts.html

National Parks: Entrance fees for all National Parks are waived for veterans, and everyone else, on Nov. 11.

Applebee's will offer a veterans and active duty military a free entree from a limited menu on Nov. 11. Must show proof of service. Beverage and gratuity not included.

Red Robin is offering veterans and active-duty service members a free Tavern double burger and fries on Nov. 11.

Texas Roadhouse is offering veterans a free lunch (and beverage) from a special menu on Nov. 11. Proof of military service required. Active, former and retired military welcome. Dine-in only.

Olive Garden restaurants are giving active-duty military and military veterans a free entree from a special menu on Nov. 11. Proof of service required.

Famous Dave's BBQ is offering former and active military a "one meat salute" meal (one meat, a side and a corn muffin) on Nov. 11 from 11 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. Participating locations only. Does not include drink, appetizer or dessert. One meal per military member.

Hooters is offering veterans and active duty military a free entree on Nov. 11.  Must show proof of service and buy a drink.

Golden Corral will have its annual Military Appreciation Dinner on MONDAY, NOV. 17 from 5-9 p.m. for veterans, active duty personnel, National Guard and reservists. Dine-in only, no take-out meals.

On The Border restaurants are offering veterans and active duty military a free choose 2 or choose 3 "Create Your Own Combo." Dine-in only. Guests need proof of military service, inlcuding a U.S. Uniform Services ID Card, U.S. Uniform Services Retired ID Card, Current Leave and Earnings Statement, Veterans Organization Card, DD214, Citation or Commendation.

IHOP is offering veterans and active duty military free red, white and blue pancakes on Nov. 11 from 7 a.m. to 7 p.m. Must show proof of service. Some locations are offering the free pancakes as part of a free combo meal, but not all locations, according to the news release from IHOP.

Longhorn Steakhouse is offering veterans and active military members a complimentary Texas Tonion appetizer and non-alcohol beverage with proof of service.

Ruby Tuesday is offering veterans, active duty and reserve service members with a proof of service a free appetizer on Nov. 11.

Red Lobster is thanking veterans, active duty military and reservists for their service with a free appetizer from a limited menu on November 10-13.

Participating Starbucks locations are offering a free tall (12 fl. oz.) brewed coffee to veterans, active duty service members and military spouses on Nov. 11.

Great Clips will give veterans a free hair cut on Nov. 11. Veterans who don't need a hair cut can stop by on Nov. 11 and get a free haircut card to redeem by Dec. 31. If YOU get your hair cut on Nov. 11, they'll give you a coupon to give to a veteran for a free hair cut from Nov. 11 to Dec. 31.

Many Sport Clips locations will offer free haircuts to active-duty U.S. service members and veterans on Nov. 11 with valid proof of service.

Brides! If you or your fiance are serving in the military, you may be able to get a free wedding dress from Brides Across America. Learn more on the BridesAcrossAmerica website.

JCPenney is offering current and former military personnel AND their families an extra 20 percent off Nov. 3 to 15 with this coupon: http://www.jcpenney.com/military

Bed, Bath and Beyond's Facebook page says active duty, reserves, guard, retirees, veterans and military spouses get 20 percent off their entire purchase Nov. 8-11. In-store only. Military ID required.

Lowe's is offering current service members, retired veterans, VA recipients and their immediate family 10 percent off on Veterans Day. The offer is also valid on Memorial Day and Fourth of July. A DD214 or other proof of service required.

Who needs the spooks and haunted stories of Halloween when you have to deal with the red tape that is the military? Sometimes the things military spouses deal with on a daily basis are enough to scare the bejeezus out of civilian folk.

1. Are we going to be paid? Sure, we’re extremely proud to defend our nation’s honor. But when our nation’s politicians can’t decide on a budget, well, that pride turns to anger and then worry as we try to figure out how to pay the next month worth of bills, on well, nothing. If we can balance children, full-time jobs, earning a degree, volunteering and caring for the home surely they can sit in their office for a week and devise a plan that will let us continue to be paid for our service without giving us all ulcers as we wait and plead and hope that they will come through. Most civilians can’t imagine and would not continue to work for no pay or the threat of no pay.

2. We were paid, too much! Oh the horror of opening your bank account and realizing that DFAS overpaid you. Don’t move a muscle. Seriously. Don’t withdraw it. Don’t try to pay it back. And for the love of God, don’t spend it. They will take it back. Whenever they darn well feel like it. It may be tomorrow, it may be six months from now. And they don’t just withdraw it from your account, they dock your paycheck. So sometime in the future, be certain, you will have a smaller paycheck, if any paycheck at all. And if you already spent the extra money, you are out of luck.

3. TMO lost, broke, smashed your stuff. Moving can be like Christmas. You open boxes after months of living in hotels and empty housing to unveil things you own that you totally forgot about, and it is awesome! And then you open some boxes to find the stuff you had been praying for the last 90 days would make the trip unscathed has not only been damaged but absolutely destroyed. Throw in the fact that you have a limited time to submit a claim to be reimbursed for those items. And, you will probably forget about that date as you navigate the busy schedule of a cross-country move until it’s too late, meaning moving can be a real nightmare. 

4. Everyone knows, everything. Living on base is a bit like living in a fishbowl. Military families are notoriously gossipy. And, the houses are close together so when you are screaming at your kids, or your husband for that matter, most of the neighborhood can hear your tirade drifting through the open windows. And because it is the unit’s job to make sure your family is doing ok, it essentially makes it their job to know what is happening in your household: the good, the bad and the ugly. This is a great thing when you are married to an E-3, pregnant with twins and already have four kids and no money for Thanksgiving dinner because that unit is most likely going to make sure your family eats on the holiday. This is a bad thing when you are having a meltdown in the commissary because your twins just knocked over an entire display of tampons and you are caught screaming and cussing as your husband’s commander’s wife walks by. You eventually get the feeling you are almost always being watched, by someone.

5. The commissary – the day before a holiday. Want to know what the night of the living dead actually looks like? Check the mile long line at the commissary before any four-day weekend or major holiday. That bad boy stretches from the check-out and wraps its way through the frozen food, past the milk and meat and almost into the veggie aisles, filled with exhausted soldiers, harried moms and crying children all staring blankly ahead as they wait desperately to inch forward. Why can one of the largest military forces on the planet manage to plan and execute massive surprise attacks on other nation’s but fail to buy buns and beer more than 24-hours before the Fourth of July? That, my friends, is an unsolved mystery.

When my children complain that they do not have their own rooms, I tell them I had my own room for exactly one year.

As a child, I shared with siblings. In college, I shared with roommates. And when I finally moved overseas for my job, then and only then did I have my own sweet, sanctuary of space. My very own room. And then I met my husband.

So much for personal space. He dropped his boots and Kevlar helmet in the middle of the joint and I’ve been tripping on them ever since.

But marriage means a lot of sharing. This week, Pamela McBride wrote about sharing that new last name, and whether it is a good move for you, career-wise.

And with the recent marriage of the world’s most eligible bachelor, George Clooney, to London-based attorney Amal Alamuddin, the decision to change monikers is a hot topic. The high-profile career woman, a stranger to tabloid readers, but a power player in international circles, will now be known as Mrs. Clooney, both personally and professionally.

Professional women everywhere, who have built a brand with their maiden name, may have shuddered a little at the thought. Most writers I know still use their maiden name, having married long after their byline became a permanent fixture on the front page. Performers can find themselves stuck in the same situation, as will any professional who makes a living by being recognized by their name.

But, it seems the somewhat antiquated practice is seeing a resurgence. A 2013 poll found that just 8 percent of women are choosing to keep their maiden name. That is down from a whopping 23 percent in the mid-90s.

So, as a newly minted military wife who is learning the lingo, the locations and probably dealing with deployment, here is a yet another to do list, to make sure that you are known as Mrs., not just among your friends and co-workers, but to the government and other official sources.

This list is courtesy of www.bankrate.com

1. Have copies of your marriage certificate on hand. You will need proof of your union and the Social Security Administration will request a copy that you will never receive back.
2. Contact the Social Security administration first. Don’t worry if your address labels are incorrect, worry first that your name matches your social security number. If it doesn’t, it could impact your payroll and tax return.
3. Update your driver’s license and voter registration.
4. Tell your employer, this may also be a good time to look over your benefits and insurance coverage now that you have a new family member
5. Contact your bank. This change will most likely have to be made in person, with proof, such as the marriage certificate or a new driver’s license.
6. Tell your creditors. Still receiving bills and paying them, so it doesn’t matter, right? Wrong. If you are still paying your bills under your maiden name, you will not build credit under your correct name. So, next time you apply for a loan, with stellar credit you’ve built up since the honeymoon, you will be declined. Why? Because the old you built the good credit, not the married you.
7. Finally, make it a point to compose a list of all the professional associations, doctor’s offices, pharmacies, associations and other places that you frequent. They all need to know who you are now too.

And don’t forget to practice that new signature!

It happened.

Until now, I’ve managed to avoid sharing my Facebook life with a co-worker. Then, I had to create a Facebook page for my job and the clients I manage. My co-worker joined it. No big deal. It’s all official work-related info.

Then, she sent me a request to join my personal page.

Ummmmm ….. crud.

I was suddenly spinning out of control in the work vs Facebook conundrum.

If I deny her request, will it affect our relationship at work? If I accept her request, will it do the same? Will she scrutinize my posts and wonder why I was discussing my bizarre donut at breakfast instead of getting to work 3 minutes before the start bell rang?

Will she gossip about my days off with other co-workers? Let’s be honest, will she gossip about how boring my days off are with my co-workers? Pictures of tearing out the flower beds and giving my dog a bath aren’t exactly scandal material.

Will she attack me for my personal stances in support of gay marriage and other issues, which are mentioned on my page but have no visibility in my workspace?

I was stuck.

I personally like the giant dividing line I have drawn between my work space and my home life. But I also feared the nasty repercussions that may come with avoiding this woman’s social media request.

So, I hit, “accept.”

And I haven’t posted on Facebook since.

And, I have no good answers to fix this.

So, good reader, do you share Facebook space with your co-workers? Or do you keep them at bay with a thanks but no thanks?