The hits just keep on coming.

Congress will vote this summer on whether married military couples should continue to be paid two BAH payments each month.

Stars & Stripes reported that the Senate Armed Services Committee has drafted the 2016 defense authorization bill to present to Congress this summer. In it, the committee suggests cutting BAH for married military members.

Currently, married members both receive BAH. The more senior ranking member receives
BAH with dependents (if the couple has children) while the other spouse is paid BAH at the without dependents rate.

The new bill suggests that only the higher ranking service member be paid BAH. And the other, nothing.

Couples assigned to different geographic locations, outside of reasonable commuting distances, would continue to receive dual BAH to pay for the two residences.

On social media, the masses have split into two very different camps. On one side are civilian spouses who say they see the extra BAH as a windfall for those families; an extra $1,000 a month to do whatever they want with.

On the other, are military spouses who say the extra money is used to cover the cost of having two military members in the household. They pay extra child care for extended duty hours, they pay extra helpers to pitch in when both are deployed. The extra money is necessary to help them do their job.

But if Congress wins, everyone will be feeling the changes. The bill essentially puts an end to unmarried military roommates too.

The bill requires E-4 servicemembers and above, who live together, to have their BAH payment capped at 75 percent.

These cuts are in addition to those requested by President Obama to slow BAH spending in the coming years. Currently the DOD spends over $1 billion annually to house its military and their families.

Obama has suggested that BAH pay be decreased over the coming years until military members are paying 5 percent of rent and utility costs out of pocket.

We have been told the cuts are coming. We have been told the spending will stop. We are officially at the beginning of that moment.

Programs have been slashed. Commissary prices may be rising and hours falling. Your quarters will no longer be a free perk of the job.

It may be time to take a very serious look at your household's spending habits and align them with the cuts Congress wants to make. None of us want these changes, but if they become law, none of us want to be caught with empty pockets, unable to pay for our homes and electricity.

Change is coming. Don't be caught unprepared.

Read Stars & Stripes full story here: http://www.stripes.com/opinion/dual-service-couples-may-see-housing-allowance-cut-under-senate-plan-1.349209

It's not about you.

It's not about barbecue or days off of work or sales in the linen aisle.

Every year Memorial Day seems to stir up some confusion.

For families who have never served or been touched by the hell of war, the three-day weekend is a time to picnic, celebrate and vacation.

For some young service members, they seem to think the weekend is in honor of their service.

The retail industry sees it as a weekend for huge discounts and large sales.

It is none of these.

It is the most somber of American holidays.

This weekend is when we as a nation have chosen to stop what we are doing and pay homage to the our soldiers, sailors, Marines and airmen who have fallen in battle. It is our time to thank these men and women for our freedom.

They died so that we may live.

And in honor of that, modern Americans have skipped heading to the cemeteries with flowers and thanks in hand and instead hit the beaches, shopping malls and liquor stores.

I get it. A three-day weekend is a big deal. After a winter with record snows people are at their breaking point and ready for a long weekend of sun and fun.

But please, if nothing else, before you dig into that grilled smorgasbord, call for a moment of silence and ask your party-goers to take a moment and say thank you to the men and women in uniform who gave their lives on the field of battle so that you could gather and party today.

Or, suggest to your crowd that before you feast, you gather at the cemetery across town and make a small gesture of thanks. Thousands of veterans' graves go unmarked, unrecognized every year. They are easy to find and even easier to stop at, and simply place a small flag. 

I will be at our local veterans' cemetery bright and early with my five children in tow. We will be placing flags on the graves of men and women who fell in the Revolution and every war after. My children will salute each one.

And I will remind them of one of my favorite quotes, spoken by General George Patton, "It is foolish and wrong to mourn the men who died. Rather we should thank God that such men lived."

Absolutely.

The summer panic is starting to set in.

For some families with a stay-at-home parent this means finding ways to entertain the kids for eight long weeks.

For others, like mine, it means finding affordable, fulltime day care, for eight long weeks. In our family that weekly dollar amount is multiplied by five. And the resulting number is twice what I actually make on the job for the week.

Uggggggh.

So, I’m playing a dangerous game of enrolling each kid in various camps throughout the eight weeks that require me to pick up during lunch, drop off during breaks and use perfectly timed personal days to fill in the gaps.

It’s expensive. It’s stressful. It’s exhausting. And I’m one of the lucky ones.

I have a job that pays me enough to afford at least some fulltime day care for the summer months. I work at a business where my boss not only understands the struggle but allows some wiggle room as myself and the other employees take turns leaving to drop and pick up our kids.

For many people, this is not the case. Nine to five means, nine to five. No breaks. No kid pickups. No bringing your child to work when the daycare provider is sick. For many, it is easier, and less expensive, to not work.

Local museums, art clubs and even school districts know there is a desperate need for summer childcare. They provide it. And sometimes, they charge an outrageous amount for it. Summer dance camp for my 4-year-old, for one week, 9 a.m. to noon, is $200. Art camp for the preteen is $250. Drama club camp is another, cool, $150 a week.

None of these camps last past noon, serve food or provide any extras. But these are the ones that are advertised on slick, glossy paper, sent home in our kids’ book bags that they beg us to attend.

No. Not happening.

If you live near a base, look there first. The military has also noticed a desperate need for summer childcare. And finally, they are responding. Many bases are now offering summer day camp. Many start as early as 7 a.m. and last until 6 at night.

The kids play, nap, run, do crafts and eat. They are safe, they are entertained and most importantly, the parents don’t have to run from camp to camp, wad of money in hand, to keep their children safe and taken care of for eight weeks.

The summer childcare struggle is just that, a struggle. And it is very real. Hang in there moms and dads. The first day of school will be here before you know it.

A little known milestone passed by last month.

Female soldiers are participating in the Army’s storied Ranger School at Fort Benning, Georgia. On day one, 19 enrolled. After 10 days, eight remained – a success rate that is equal to the men.

Observers are at the school to make sure the women receive no special treatment. They are indistinguishable from the men in the course due to their buzzed hair, a requirement for attendance.

The doors were open to women for this session only as the military continues to research ways to integrate women into combat billets. A report is expected to be presented to the Pentagon at the end of the year when commanders will decide which of the military’s toughest units will begin accepting America’s toughest women.

But, did you see it on the news? Did it fill your Facebook feed?

Nope, mine neither.

Maybe because we have finally reached a point where it doesn’t really matter.

The military has always been ahead of the game when it came to integration. In military neighborhoods families of all race, backgrounds and social status are intermingled and they make it work. Promotions are based on points and performance. There is little room to snub someone because of their skin color or gender.

And while the rest of the nation argues, the DOD has extended full benefits to gay and lesbian families with nary a wrinkle.

They are ahead of the game.  And though allowing women into combat roles has been delayed far too long, it may be here at just the right time.

Your momma wears combat boots? Big deal.

Women are strong, women are fighters and much of the world already knows that. The idea that women can champion any job may be so well-accepted that a handful of gals surviving the hell that is Ranger School, where only 3 percent of soldiers earn the coveted tab, is kind of a no news event.

Of course some of them are going to make it? Why are we even asking the question?

Last month when my daughter’s scout troop visited the Blue Angels, there was no mention that the unit has just received its first female pilot.

Seeing a woman on the flight line was no big deal.

And that is a wonderful thing.

Congrats and god speed to all the strong, brave women blazing trails in our military and beyond. Your efforts may no longer make the front pages, but you carry every one of us with you on your journey. And we are forever grateful.

You have organized the unit mandatory fun day and the spouses’ luncheons.

You have worked with dozens of Cub Scouts every week for an exhausting year.

You have taught Vacation Bible School, handled the finances for the FRG and took notes during the PTA meetings.

You have put in hundreds of volunteer hours over the years. Now, do yourself a favor. Put all that experience on paper. It can help you find a job.

When my husband’s orders took us overseas, I was excited at the prospect of finding a new job. New challenges. New co-workers to meet. New experiences.

After six months of searching, I was over it. And entrenched myself in volunteer work, nearly 40 hours a week worth, for four different organizations.

I managed organizations of 100+ people. I handled finances in excess of $50,000. I planned, organized and executed a week-long event for over 300 scouts.

Sounds like work to me.

And it is.

At our next duty station, after four years out of the actual workforce but with hundreds of volunteer hours under my belt, that is what was at the top of my resume. And those experiences are why I was hired at my current, paying job.

Your volunteer work is you, at work, exercising your soft and hard skillsets - managing people, data, events and even equipment. Non-profits rely on the expertise of volunteers who can give not just their time, but their abilities.

On your resume, when you list volunteer work, don’t just list the organization. Bullet point each of your responsibilities and accomplishments as well as any accolades you receive. And do not be modest. Were you an integral part of a fundraising campaign? How much did you raise? How many more volunteers did you sign up? How many people attended your events?

Employers know volunteer work can be hard work. Show them what you’ve done. Show them what you can do for them too as a paid employee.

And those organizations you worked so hard for? Ask your supervisor there to be a reference. If you were a volunteer the non-profit relied on to get the job done, they will be happy to tell a future employer that. 

And if you are out of work and need work experience? Find a non-profit to volunteer for, and see it as a job, not just a volunteer thing you do once in a while. Commit to the cause and the tasks that organization needs completed. Do your best work, see the project through, consider it to be your job. You will gain work experience, resume fodder and will probably have a great time.

Congress is currently reviewing a bill that will ease the financial burden for PCSing spouses who have to transfer their professional licenses from state to state.

That means when a spouse studies and works for two years to finally earn her professional license, only to receive PCS orders a week later, all the money she shelled out, and will now have to pay again in the next state, she can apply as a tax credit for that year (up to$500).

Sounds great, right?

It's likely to never happen.

The bill is sitting in the senate finance committee. There has been no vote, no discussion, no movement.

Historically, between 2013 and now only 15 percent of the bills sent to the senate finance committee made it to the next step in the legislative process. Of those, only 3 percent became law.

And this bill has a very specific audience, military spouses. Even more specifically, military spouses who hold state licenses.

There will be no marches. Little news coverage. Little notice when it never passes.

Again, we are on our own.

Military spouses must make their needs known to Congress. Writer your congressman. Tell them how important this is. Why should we continue to pay over and over again just to be employed? Why should we be penalized because the military requires us to move over and over again.

We shouldn't.

But no one is going to care until we do.

Contact your congressman. Over and over again until someone starts listening. It is the only way to make our needs known.

Track this bill: https://www.govtrack.us/congress/bills/114/s210

Find your congressman: http://www.contactingthecongress.org/

They have endured a decade of war. Collectively they have moved across country and back again, thousands of times. They go years without seeing family members. They lose touch with their closest friends just to repeat the cycle again and again. They often are the victims of abuse as the strain of war weighs heavy on their family. They sometimes live in poverty and for thousands, their parents have been killed or broken in combat.

These are not soldiers. These are their children.

Stop reading this right now, and go hug your military child.

Didn’t that feel great? Military children have always been known to endure lives that were busier and more difficult than their civilian counterparts. But in the last decade as war as ravaged on in Iraq and Afghanistan, military children have suffered longer and greater and stepped into household roles that many American children never imagine.

It has made them resilient. It has made them street smart. It has made them better people.

But the experiences of being children of wartime duty have also left many of them broken, exhausted and traumatized.

Every April military bases around the world celebrate the month of the military child. Purple banners are hung. Free dinners are given out. Events with bouncy houses, balloons and free bowling are held to celebrate all that is awesome about being a military kid.

And there is no doubt those events are great fun. The kids enjoy them.

But what they really want most is probably that hug from the people who mean the most to them, their mom and dad.

So when you are done reading this, go hug them again. And do it every day, every hour that you can.

Spend the month of the military child reminding them how thankful you are for their service. Spend every day after doing it over and over again. They have earned it, they deserve it. 

Ahhh, say it with me.

For those of you who began your spring break this week, relax. No school lunches. No run to the bus. No dash off to work.

Spring is here and it is about time.

It felt like the longest winter ever. For those of you still shoveling melting snow, the feeling continues. But spring break gives us a chance to stop and breathe. No running, no hustling to events and homework and baseball practice.

For us military folks, it is the last chance for peace before an even longer season begins, PCS. Perhaps it’s your week to get things organized mentally and on paper before beginning that push out the door and to the next duty station.

Just take a moment this spring, stop and breathe.

I’ve long been an advocate of not rushing off on a trip during spring break. Our family stays home. We chill. We sleep in. We don’t do laundry. We sit around the table and take hours to finish our meal and crawl into bed with full tummies and fuller hearts.

We let our kids just be. And it feels great.

We return to work and school re-energized and renewed.

So as you are celebrating the arrival of colorful flowers and warmer temperatures, don’t forget to sit still for at least a moment and soak it all in. Enjoy the break, trust me, the flurry of summer activity is coming soon enough!

I have a pre-teen. And the attitude is beginning to appear.

Why? I don’t want to. I don’t have to. Whatever.

All the typical teen vernacular is tumbling out as well.  

‘Why do I have to?’ is the most frequent. Why do I have to do with the coach says, what the teacher says, what anyone says?

So I thought about it.

And decided there are five things you will learn in high school that absolutely stay the same on the job. And this is why you have to.

1. Sometimes you have to do it the way the teacher/boss wants it done. My son got the math problem right, but the teacher marked it wrong. He didn’t show all his steps. I turned in a report to my boss last week that I had to rewrite because I didn’t outline it the way she wanted. He didn’t show all his steps. When the boss/teacher/professor wants a job done a particular way, sometimes, you just have to hush up and do it that way.
2. Cliques exist in the office too. Thought everyone would sit happily together at the lunch table now that we are adults? Nope. Some offices still operate on high school-like politics complete with cliques and the cool kids. The difference? Hard work matters here. Keep your nose to the grind, work hard and you will stand out and get the attention of the person who matters most, management.
3. You will have to work in a group with people you don’t like. With people who don’t pull their weight. With people who may do their job incorrectly. And it’s going to stink. But unlike school when you can petition to do your own project or just settle for the lower grade and bring it up later, at the job, you need to find a way to get along with your co-workers and get the project done and done well. This time, it’s not a grade on the line, it’s your paycheck.
4. You will have to do things you don’t want to do, don’t like to do, in every job, on nearly every level of experience. You will have to do the dirty work, you will have to complete the boring tasks you will have to do the hardest part of the job. There is no getting out of it or mouthing off to the boss. If you call in sick, it just means you have to do double tomorrow. Like that paper you don’t want to write or the gym class you have to take to graduate, you just have to do it. Get over it.
5. You will get it wrong. You can’t be perfect all the time. The point is to continue to learn, improve and get better at what you do. Be willing to take responsibility and realize you were wrong instead of arguing that it was someone else’s fault, or that you didn’t have enough time to complete it or that you were tired from the band concert the night before. Acknowledge the mistake, learn how to fix it and continue to do better.

There’s a lot about military life that makes it hard to be happy.

We move. Our friends move. Our friends die. Our husbands (or wives) are gone, a lot. Our new house on base is too small. Our new house on base is too far. Our old base had a better commissary. It was closer to our family.

The list can go on and on.

And for many of us, while we’re wallowing in that moment of self-pity, tend to loathe the happy military spouse who breezes by, without seemingly a care in the world. What’s she have to be so happy about that you didn’t get?

Nothing. Her husband is deployed. Her house on base is itty bitty. She hasn’t seen her family in four years either.

But, she chooses to be happy.

A report by CNN on the state of happiness says happy people, truly happy people, are not inspired by what life gives them but what they choose to make of it.

The CNN story (read the entire piece here: http://www.cnn.com/2015/03/19/living/feat-project-happy-10-ways/index.html) quotes Sonja Lyubomirsky, a psychology professor at the University of California, Riverside and author of "The Myth of Happiness."

"Happy people don't sit around," Lyubomirsky said. "They strive for something personally meaningful, whether it's learning a new language, retraining in their careers or raising good kids. Find a happy person, and you will find a project."

She told CNN that up to 40 percent of your happiness is determined completely by your decision to be happy.

And today just happens to be the United Nation’s International Day of Happiness. To celebrate, CNN has launched Project Happy and will report for the next three months on all the ways people around the world choose to embrace and celebrate happiness.

But, we can start today. Sure, your on-post house is small, but don’t make your entire tour about the house. Get out into your new community, explore nearby destinations. Enjoy the experiences this tiny house puts you near, don’t worry about the size of the house.

Husband deployed? It stinks. We absolutely know. But instead of dwelling every night as you fall asleep on the negative, write down what was good about each day. Write down what you are thankful for. Shift your attention to the positive and your level of happiness will shift too.

Always running your children to activities? Guess what, they can wait on you once in a while. Pick an activity, skill, club anything you want to do and make time to do it.

For more ideas on ways to be happy, check out CNN’s top 10 list at http://www.cnn.com/2015/03/19/living/feat-project-happy-10-ways/index.html

Choose one, and start getting happy!