We have never sent a Christmas letter in our holiday cards. Honestly, I’m lucky to get just the cards in the mail. If I tried to draft, and print, an actual letter my good holiday tidings would probably reach my nearest and dearest sometime after spring break.

And, something about an annual roundup of my family’s good fortune feels, fake.

Sure, my kid hit a home run! My daughter received a reading award! My two-year-old is walking and talking!

What you never read in those letters is that before that home run, my son spent the first six weeks of the season carrying around a nasty attitude and spent most of his time on the field muttering into his glove how unfair it was that he never won.

My daughter was presented with a beautiful award, several actually, by my wonderful friends on Facebook after I spent days complaining how the local library dismissed her from their summer reading program for having a learning disability. After that run-in my faith in community has never been lower.

And my walking and talking two-year-old is a walking and talking nightmare. She seems to find her way into anything sticky, messy or expensive and quite frankly, she is driving me batty.

Reality is perception and I never saw the need to make people think the grass on our side of the fence was always, Technicolor “greener” when in fact, sometimes, we could barely keep it watered.

So, dear friends, if I had to write a Christmas letter today, it would read something like this:

Boy, it’s been a long year. We’ve weathered my husband’s surgeries, the ups and downs of our daughter’s autism and learned just how difficult a rambunctious five-year-old boy and a pre-adolescent boy can be in the same household. Our pair of toddlers, while adorable and cute, have pushed us to the edges of our sanity. We’ve never quite gotten a handle on having constantly clean laundry for seven people and I’m pretty certain the transmission is going to give out on our vehicle any day now. We’ve spent much of the year on pins and needles as we’ve waited for the Army to announce what soldiers will remain employed under its new budget cuts and who will be sent packing. In preparation for an ousting, we’ve blown our budget trying to make plans and as a result, now know that shrimp is our least favorite flavor of ramen. But as 2012 closes and another year arrives we are all healthy, we are learning to work together as a team and love the community we are in. There are days that we fight. There are days that we cry. There are days that we put everyone to bed without a bath. But in the end, the important thing is that all our days are spent together. So here’s to a better 2013 and a life full of togetherness and love, even if it’s spent in stinky clothes while eating shrimp-flavored noodles.

To you and yours, Happy Holidays.

Unlike Cinderella, I was dreading attending the ball.

On Friday night, my husband and I attended the Signal Corps ball in Honolulu. In college, I counted the days until my then-boyfriend came to sweep me away to his military college ball. The gowns, the decorations, the flowers, oh my!

Now, as a mom of five with a pile of laundry as high as my countertops, stealing away for a Friday night was seriously cutting into my chore time.

Not to mention, after five pregnancies in nine years, I don’t exactly fit into the cute little ball gowns anymore. Not a fact I was in the mood to highlight.

And we had to hire a babysitter – two in fact; one to care for our two children on the autism spectrum and another to chase after everyone else.

Once I calculated the cost of the sitters and parking and my $8 soda and the several drinks my husband had (I was afraid to ask the cost) and my not so ball-like gown – well, it wasn’t a night I was looking forward to.

So I did what any tired military spouse does -  I pulled a pair of old shoes out of the closet, powdered on some of my own makeup (and hoped I looked like I was wearing makeup and not that I’d been punched in both eyes), threw a flower in my hair and walked out the door. No salon appointments, no special purchases, no worries.

And you know what, it was ok. No. In fact, it was really fun.

In years past, we attended balls almost immediately after we had moved to a new post. I knew no one. I had no one to sit and chat with, comfortably, while my husband and his buddies ran to the bar. I was miserable.

This time, I knew everyone at our table. I knew people at the table next to us. Heck, I knew people sitting across the room. We laughed. We joked. I got teased for cornering the guest speaker and questioning him like a good reporter does (check back next week for those details!).

We took nice pictures of each other. We took stupid pictures of each other in silly poses. We danced – badly. When the clock struck midnight my feet hurt because I had been up and enjoying the night, not because I had been sitting still in too tiny shoes.

There were young spouses in flowing, glittery dresses. But my friends and I, in our less revealing, glitter-free dresses were just as stunning. There were young soldiers zipping across the dance floor, twirling their girls to the beat. But my husband swaying with me to the music on the side was just as romantic.

We toasted the Army, we toasted the nation and we toasted each other.

And when we pulled into the driveway, I even felt a little like Cinderella.

PCS season is upon us. Do you know where your paperwork is?

If there is one thing I have learned as an Army spouse, paperwork trumps all else at any time and in any place.

Checking in to a military hospital to have a baby? Better have the paperwork from your doc and your ID card.

Trying to renew your ID card or sign your kid up for the once a week dance class on base, while your husband is deployed? Better have orders in hand and a power of attorney.

Getting on a plane to move to a foreign country with four kids, a dog and a very grumpy husband? Better have several copies of PCS orders with you if you don’t want to pay the extra baggage fee. And even then, you might have to.

I’ve heard tall tales of the military records facility in Indiana that allegedly burned to the ground years ago. My husband swears that everything was lost and that we, in turn, must keep hands on all his records at all times.

I have no idea if that story is true or not. I’ve looked for a good solid answer on what paperwork to keep and what to toss. That answer seems to be a nebulous, mish-mash of answers – and it depends on who you ask.

What I do know is that we have a single suitcase that we carry during every PCS that weighs about 60 pounds. Its contents: nothing but paperwork.

Orders, physicals, school records, dental records – it’s all in there for every member of our family.

 As a backup, I scanned it all and put it on a thumb drive. I thought I was being cool. Seems I was just turning the system over on its head. The first time I offered an Army office worker my thumb drive with my handy dandy files, I received a look of confusion and then a “no ma’am.” So much for being organized.

So as you head for your next duty station this summer, keep your paperwork close at hand and at a minimum, your PCS orders. I guarantee it will save you days, even weeks, worth of hassle.

PCS season is upon us. And this year, you don’t have to pack alone.

Check out the Salute to Spouses webinar , “Is it Supposed to Be Like This?: Military Spouses Share Tips for Surviving the Upcoming, Summer PCS”.

The session, now available at our Webinar page, features two career Army wives and Salutetospouses.com contributors, Jan Childs and Sarah Young.

The pair has more than 10 moves between them and have shipped their household goods across the state and across the sea.

Have questions about prepping your home for the packers? They answer them.

Wondering whether you should feed your packers lunch or give them a tip? That is discussed.

The wedding album and other precious items – pack, carry or store? Hear Jan and Sarah give their tips and tricks for a career’s worth of worldwide moves.

Be sure to check back for future webinars with our panel of expert military wives as we talk candidly about the ups and downs of military life.

Seven people. Roughly 4,000 miles. 3,500 pounds of luggage and not an ounce more. Bring no car or furniture.

Some PCS orders really read more like an insane game show challenge than an order to move.

When my husband was offered a position in Japan, these were the directions I was given to prepare for our PCS. Most civilians would melt into a pile of good given these stipulations. Military spouses, we just do it.

PCS season is upon us, otherwise known as summer in non-military speak.

On Monday, please tune in to our free webinar as seasoned military spouses and pro PCS’rs Sarah Young and Jan Childs discuss their best and worst PCS experiences and share the tips for making the most of your PCS move.

Ever wonder if you should feed the moving crew while they’re at your house? Should you pack your collectible plates yourself? What exactly are you supposed to do while they are packing?

We’re here to help you.

If you have a specific question, please log in and submit it. We will have time at the end to take as many questions as possible.  

Register Now

In 2011, 190,000 veterans and their families made over 1.3 million visits to VA Vet Centers.

There’s a good chance that thousands more never had the chance to go.

There are currently 300 VA Centers sprinkled across the country. But for veterans who live too far from these centers, or who don’t have the means to travel to one, medical care can become a luxury, not a necessity.

This year the VA added 20 mobile vet centers to their fleet of mobile doctors to help even the most far-flung veterans.

The customized vehicles crisscross the U.S., paying extra visits to rural communities, and are equipped to provide confidential counseling, preventative health care screening, vaccinations and routine primary care. There are already 50 Mobile Vet Centers on the road. In 2011, the vehicles visited more than 3,600 federal, state and locally sponsored veteran-related events.

The 20 new mobile Vet Centers will be based at Birmingham, Ala.; San Diego, Calif.; Atlanta, Ga.; Western Oahu, Hawaii; Cedar Rapids, Iowa; Evanston, Ill.; Indianapolis, Ind.; Baltimore, Md.; Pontiac, Mich.; and Kansas City, Mo.; Jackson, Miss.; Greensboro, N.C.; Lakewood, N.J.; Reno, Nev.; Stark County, Ohio; Lawton, Okla.; Ponce, Puerto Rico; Nashville, Tenn.; Washington County, Utah; and Green Bay, Wis.

To find a Vet Center in your area, please visit www.vetcenter.va.gov.

My son is nine years old. He has spent more than half of his life living without his father. That is the reality of deployment for many military children.

And though he attends a school that is 99 percent military, participates in a Cub Scout pack that is purely military and lives on base, he still struggles every time his father packs his bags to leave.

Deployment, and the enormous range of emotion that come with it, is not something easily talked about on the playground, in a scout meeting or in a classroom.

Last year, Operation Purple Camp gave him a safe place to discuss those feelings with other military children.

Every year the National Military Family Association hosts camps across the nation specifically for military children, called Operation Purple Camp.

The camp is free to attend and focuses on children who endure the hardships of deployment. There, they have the freedom to hike, laugh, sing, swim and enjoy the campfire like thousands of children at camps across the country. But here, they are free from the stress and hardships of military life that they face on a daily basis at home.

They also have counselors who grew up as military children themselves or who have been trained to help them address their concerns about deployment. Every child there knows how deployment feels. Every child there has a safe place to talk about their emotions if they want to.

Plus, the week-long camp is a lot of fun.

Registration began this week. To find a camp near you, please visit

http://www.militaryfamily.org/our-programs/operation-purple/2012-camps/

Last year 4,400 veterans and military spouses found work with the help of Milicruit, the national leader for virtual career fairs for veterans and military spouses.

The virtual job fair, which allows potential employees and industry leaders to connect across the miles via the internet, was a hit for military families who often cannot afford the additional cost of traveling for similar in-person events.  

This year, Milicruit has set a goal to help 10,000 service members and their spouses find employment.

Need a job in 2012? This should be your first stop.

Find the entire list of upcoming virtual events at: www.veteranscareerfair.com

The first live event happens Jan. 24 from 2 – 4 p.m. EST and will focus on companies located in Oregon, Washington and California.  www.veteranscareerfair.com

Other upcoming career fairs are:

January 26th - Live at the MOAA Spouse Symposium in San Diego, CA - http://www.moaa.org/spousesymposium/

February 23rd- 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. EST: www.veteranscareerfair.com
 

March 29th - SOACE-Unicruit event- Online University Recruiting fair- http://www.universitycareerfair.com/

 Last week the Department of Defense asked the Senate to cut $120 million from the Military Spouse Career Advancement program for fiscal year 2012.

Sources told Military.com and other media outlets that the cuts do not mean the program will be changed, but rather that fewer spouses are using the scholarships, meaning less money is needed.

When MyCAA was launched in 2010, the program offered $6,000 scholarships to all spouses, regardless of their sponsor’s rank. Months later, Pentagon sources said the popular program simply ran out of money. It was redesigned to focus on junior spouses and offer fewer funds per student.

The DOD is currently awaiting top leaders to finalize a $260 billion reduction in planned spending over the next five years. A total of $450 billion in cuts to defense spending are planned over the coming decade. The department could lose another $500 billion as Congress tries to cut $1.2 trillion from the government budget by Thanksgiving.

Officials told media members this week that the smaller MyCAA budget is not a result of the overall spending cuts and that the scholarship program will not change how it operates or what spouses are eligible.

Are you looking for a job in the United States, but living in Japan?

Fret not. You can make an impression on potential employers from 4,000 miles away - and in your jammies.

UBM Studios/Milicruit , based in Chicago, regularly hosts virtual career fairs to give military spouses and veterans an opportunity to network with companies across the U.S. no matter where they are stationed.

Applicants log on during specific hours to chat with representatives from more than 90 companies. The website is open around the clock for job seekers to check out the companies’ virtual booths and learn more about potential employers.

The next live event happens Oct. 26 from 2 to 4 p.m. eastern standard time. The event will feature companies from Pennsylvania, New Jersey, Delaware and Maryland.  

On Nov. 10, from 11 a.m. to 4 p.m. eastern standard time, visitors can speak with representatives from companies around the U.S.

It’s important to keep in mind that career fairs are not hiring fairs, a place to conduct interviews or find job offers. Instead, it’s a place to find out more about employers and exchange resumes. Recruiters do, however, notice applicants who take the time to make a solid impression.

Attendees are encouraged to log on before the fair begins and complete their fair profile and post an appropriate photo.

To register, visit www.veteranscareerfair.com