In the last six months, two of my husband’s friends have taken their own lives.
These men, his brothers in arms, had both lived full careers that each spanned more than 20 years. They were excellent soldiers and both had risen through the ranks to the top of their career fields.
Both were within a few years of retiring.
As word spread among the unit, neighbors and friends that they were gone, it was quickly followed with the question, ‘how’.
We were all stunned. We all asked, ‘Why?’
In March the Pentagon’s suicide prevention office presented a report to the House Armed Services Committee. There were 160 more suicides in 2012 than in 2001 across the Department of Defense. Investigators are still examining 59 deaths that year that may be ruled suicides as well.
The Army specifically, leaders said, had lost 324 soldiers to potential suicides in 2012, double the number of suicides in 2009.
Why?
During the hearing, media reports quote an Army lieutenant general as telling the lawmakers that the military needs to destroy the stigma associated with seeking mental health care. Furthermore, military leaders need to do more to end the perception that seeking help could end a career and cause a soldier to lose their security clearance.
Would this knowledge have stopped our friends from taking their lives? Did they fear being ridiculed for speaking with a counselor? Did they fear losing the position, authority and accolades they worked for decades to earn?
I don’t know.
What I do know is that their passing has left an enormous, painful hole in our community.
What I do know is that more needs to be done to reach out to individuals who feel they have no other choices left. I’m not certain that anyone saw a sign that these men were considering suicide. But perhaps they would have reached out if they knew where to go.
As military spouses, you see military members outside the constraints of the workplace, in their homes and in their comfort zones. You attend meetings at the unit, at schools and at community functions. You have the opportunity to make sure that suicide prevention resources are advertised, flyers passed out and posters hung.
I challenge each of you to help spread the word about the resources available. Post the links and phone numbers of the organizations listed below on your personal Facebook, on unit Facebook pages, on bulletin boards and in newsletters.
You may not be able to see the signs that someone is in crisis. But they may see your advertisement of one of these organizations.
And that may mean the difference between life and death.
Military Crisis Line: 1-800-273-(TALK) 8255
Military One Source: 1-800-342-9647
