We haven’t PCS’d in over four years and I feel like I am totally out of the “friend” dating game.
That’s exactly how it feels, like dating. I am so glad I already have a husband because my game is weak. I find myself stalking the park to see when someone is out playing with their kids, going to the children’s library and giving a sympathetic eye in the commissary to a mom whose little one is acting up.
I am doing everything I can think of to find new friends. I try to strike up conversations and hope to exchange numbers so my son will have a playmate and someone to entertain him while I enjoy adult conversation. As much as I miss my friends from California, I know I have to face reality and make new friends or else it’s going to be a very long and lonely year.
Military life is what you make it. You can let it make you miserable or you can look at the positives and enjoy the new experience.
It was a rough start trying to make friends here at first. Our loop of townhouses cleared out as soon as we moved in and new families slowly trickled in almost two months after we arrived. I had no neighbors for most of the summer. I had to pull myself together to stay positive about this new move.
Luckily, my husband started his new job and he is currently a full-time student. The job is very family friendly and by family friendly they mean they give the spouses chances to get together.
My husband still has long hours and lots of work outside of his “work hours.” At a spouse orientation the first week the very first thing we were told was: this school is a priority for our husband’s careers.
That was a great way to meet friends because misery sure loves company!
Even though I would love to see my husband more during this break from combat training and deployments, I am thankful to be in a position where so many other spouses are going through the same thing. Not only do our husbands work long hours together, we are all only here for 10 months. It is hard to feel settled.
Since this is a temporary move, it seems like we have made friends quicker in order to make the most of our time here. And because I have met some great women, it also brings me back to the whole “dating” comparison.
I feel guilty for making new friends, almost like I am cheating on my old friends from our last duty station. But that’s the nature of this lifestyle: you make friends that become your family and at some point someone moves and you have to make new ones.
It doesn’t change the things we experienced together or make those friendships any less significant. It just means it’s time to start a new chapter in this crazy journey. And thanks to Facebook, the miles between us don’t seem so far.
