Are you the new kid on the block at work again? As a military spouse you may be used to jumping right into the community every time you PCS. And, you are probably a pro at making friends pretty quickly. So, that makes the transition into new your community a breeze. Right?

Well, as you prepare to start yet another new job, don't be afraid to use to your advantage in the professional world that same ability to make friends quickly and make the transition into the new job a breeze also.

Having friends at work can make the days go by much faster and make them a lot more enjoyable. Having the "right" friends at work can also give you support, encouragement, help and influence.

Courtney Anderson, attorney, author and business strategist suggests you don't let figuring it out get the best of you.

"Knowing that you will be there for a defined period of time instead of your whole career can really take the pressure off," she said. "You know you will make some friends, so have fun with it.

The difficulty comes in with figuring out who the "right" friends are.

Having friends at work could also have costly impacts. Too much socializing can hinder productivity, foster cliques and favoritism and unfortunately, the wrong ones can get you fired.

Take heed to these precautions before jumping into friendships at work.

A high quality professional connection does not require a deeply personal one.

"Close friendships are all about opening up and self-disclosures so you need to be especially careful when starting a new job about making intimate friendships," said Dr. Jan Yager, a sociologist and workplace relationship consultant. "The stakes are very high at a job if you share too many of your professional or personal details and it turns out that you spilled your guts to the wrong person."

Don't let social media limit you.

"Don't give away too much about yourself online and peg yourself into the same hole. Each new job can be a fresh start and a chance to reinvent yourself," said Anderson. "Let them know who you are today not who you were in the past."

Test the waters before diving in to deep.

"If you take your time getting to know someone at work really well, testing out the new relationship over months or even years and in a variety of work or outside-of-work situations, then gradually making a new friend at work can be a good idea, said Dr. Yager, author of numerous workplace relationship books that can be found at http://www.drjanyager.com.

Don't force friendships or worry too much about them.

"Think more about your professional goals and who you are than about friendships," said Anderson. "Your number one goal should be to be comfortable with yourself and then you'll do what's comfortable for your personality," she added. "People gravitate to those who appear to be comfortable in their skin."

Know there is a difference between friendly coworkers and "real" friends at work.

Friendly co-workers are people with whom you connect more than others because you spend much of your day working with them. "Real" friends will be there for you in tough times at work, but in especially tough times outside of work.

Last month the non-profit group, Blue Star Families, released the results of a study that show unemployment, and underemployment, of military spouses is costing the U.S. economy nearly $1 billion each year.

According to Military Times, the study, commissioned by the nonprofit Blue Star Families, calculated the cost of lost federal income tax, of unemployment benefits, and of costs for health care issues that may related to unemployment and underemployment. By far the largest effect on the economy is the total lost income tax that spouses would have paid, ranging from $578 million to $763 million.

Now, Blue Star Families is calling for more efforts to place spouses in jobs that match their skill set, training and education level. Currently, the Department of Defense sponsors the Military Spouse Employment Partnership. That effort has connected spouses with more than 300 companies and organizations nationwide.

Blue Star Families says this is a great start, but more needs to be done.

Kathy Roth-Douquet, CEO of Blue Star Families told The Military Times that the report will help draw attention to the issue.

“The No. 1 reason we have this crippling problem is that it’s invisible," she told the Military Times.

“No one knows about it, and no one cares about it when it’s the individual’s problem. When it’s the individual’s problem, it’s not solvable," That changes when it's everyone's problem," she said.

The analysis places the military spouse unemployment rate at 12 percent, compared to 7.7 percent for civilian spouses.

To read the full report from Blue Star Families, please visit: https://bluestarfam.org/engage/

Caught up in the whirlwind of moving again? Don't let the months and months of PCS madness distract you from making a great impression during the first week of work.

"The first week on a new job is the time when you set the impression that the company builds on for your future with them," said Mark Renn, Chief Executive Officer of The CS Team, a career marketing firm. "It's also a time to learn about the people and the company; take the time to become part of the group."

Here are seven strategies that will show your new boss and co-workers you will be an asset right off the bat.
 

1. Dress the part

On your first day dress conservatively, but very professionally. To pick the right attire, think back to your interview and take it one notch higher than what you saw others wearing. It's better to be told you can dress down than counseled to dress up. To be safe, avoid piercings, tank tops and short or revealing clothes.

2. Learn the culture

"Be an observer of the culture and then you will be able to fit into the culture," said Robin Ryan, Author of 60 Seconds and You’re Hired. "Have lunch or coffee with different people to get advice,  information and perspective from more than one source," she said.

3. Take copious notes.

Take notes throughout the first week of work so you will remember everything people are trying to teach you and so you can refer back to them later. Good notes will help close some of the gaps and add clarity to things you may not have fully understood the first time you heard them.

4. Ask questions

"To learn the job to the fullest extent possible, ask questions," Ryan said. "For example, ask for timelines on the big things that happen in the course of a year and ask questions to help you be sure things you did in the past are acceptable here," she said. "You will make mistakes, but you don’t want to make a lot of big mistakes.

5. Know management's priorities

Study the business priorities and make them your priorities too. Request a meeting with your manager to be clear about expectations and what he or she wants you to accomplish in the first month. It's a great practice to follow up with an email that outlines the details you discussed to confirm that you are on the same page.

6. Keep a low profile

"Be careful about making instant friends," Ryan said. "Sometimes, it's the early friend who is the troublemaker or gossiper and not the person you want as you new BFF," she said. "Since you don't know the politics, a low profile is the best profile."

7. Be a team player

"This is a time to be extremely collaborative; show interest in helping and being a part of the team," Renn said. "Don't come across as someone who will be attempting to change the current status of the company, which many times upsets the people that may have been instrumental in establishing the current systems," he added.

When all is said and done, your first week is about learning; absorb as much as possible on your way to success.

By Amy Nielsen

My school gave us the week off. Probably because they are pretty sure no one is actually going to complete a module this as it is the first, unofficial vacation week of the summer.

After last week’s panic about getting everything done before the holiday weekend, I realized it is a holiday week. And, a pretty big one for us military spouses go. It inspires to think about my eventual business and how, or if, I want to relate to the military.

I tried to use my military resources to fund my schooling but that was not in the cards for an off the wall career in a small, very specialized school. But, are there other monetary resources I can use in the future that are specific to retirees and their spouses?

On a practical side, the VA has some excellent small business loans. Many banks have veteran incentives. I could have my husband be a silent partner to get the loans I will need to operate.

Can I use my military background to help open doors and move forward with my business?

There are a myriad of different organizations that help veterans now. Many have a health and wellness focus and I may want to explore a partnership with an existing organization. I am sure if I look I can find other likeminded health and wellness mentor-type folks who are also military spouses. They may be able to point me in the direction of the next certification I should pursue. If I move towards working on a national scale I might also make personal connections with other professionals who can advise me as to which trade organizations to join.

As I look at our larger military community from a client standpoint, is there a component to what I want to do that can be tailored more specifically to the military lifestyle? We all want to be healthy and happy, but how is that different in the military family? Local to me, there are people who teach and coach a similar subject to clients using supermarkets as classrooms. Part of my dream is to be able to teach around the country. Perhaps I can take a similar model and pitch it to the commissary system?

If I am ever so lucky as to be so busy that I eventually am able to hire employees, do I want to focus on hiring military spouses and service members? What would set them apart and why would they be more of an asset than a civilian? Are there other graduates from my school who I can connect with in the military community to build a network of coaches? I envision these individuals working with relocating families to continue their progress in a new duty station, banding together to help our community be healthier.

As a military spouse, I am used to thinking about how to get services and support as we have moved around with the Navy. Now in retirement, and with this new school and job, I am turning the tables and thinking about how to be of service and support to this community. As I go forward I will tuck this piece of community in my bonnet and see if it percolates back up as I get closer to finishing school and embarking on growing my business.

Whether you’ve landed the job of your dreams, a great promotion, a new degree or another set of PCS orders, what you do as a short-timer in the final week at your current job could impact your long-term career.

Here are five ways to make a last(ing) impression that is beneficial to you and your soon-to-be former employer.

Tie up loose ends

“The final week on a job is a time to tie up the loose ends of your position,” said Mark Renn, Career Management Professional and Chief Executive Officer of The CS Team.

Review your workload to determine what you can feasibly get done in your time left, what you will need help with and what needs to be passed along to a co-worker. Don’t overload yourself and risk the quality of your work and don’t work overtime to the detriment of other personal things (like preparing for packers).

Leave a transition manual

For things you will turn over to someone else, ensure a smooth transition.

“Write out where you are on projects, with systems and procedures, to help the company to move forward with the work you are currently performing,” Renn said. “Review what you have written with someone before you leave, this way you can clarify any questions they may have on the work.”

Practice good social graces

No one likes negativity (even if it’s true).  Leaving a job doesn’t have to be a bad thing, so don’t make it one. If you are happy, people will likely be happy for you, or at least cordial.

“Be polite. Never burn bridges – even if you hate them,” said Robin Ryan, Author of 60 Seconds and You’re Hired. You can’t be smug, tell people what you think of them, tell off the boss, not be nice to the secretary and complain about the boss for two hours in the exit survey – you will only sabotage yourself.”

Carry Your Credentials

You’ve heard time and time again: If you stay ready, you never have to get ready. Don’t call co-workers to request documents you should have gathered before you left. Before you walk out the door, be prepared to conduct or continue your job search at a moment’s notice, no matter where you are or whether you have unpacked the first box.

If you will apply for jobs using USAJOBS or other online means, upload and store your resume, cover letter, performance appraisal, transcripts and awards. Also, save these documents in ‘the cloud’ or on a jump drive, and as extra back-up and keep a hard copy too.

Get recommendations in writing.

“Get written recommendations from your boss and your boss’ boss, if possible,” Ryan said. “Even if you are leaving and have a new job already, sooner or later you will want to try for a new job or promotion and you want to know that they will say something nice about you.”

Ryan also advises that you ask them to write a LinkedIn recommendation or endorsement for your work.

“Leaving a position in good standing is more critical to your career than most people realize, so take the time to be sure they are pleased with where you leave them as you walk out the door,” Renn said.

While political debates may be the order of the day everywhere you go during an election year, and while you may be tempted to join in on the conversation, the one place you shouldn’t be a part of the political chatter is at your place of work. Unless of course you are working on a political campaign staff.

“There are a few downsides to discussing politics at work,” said Josh Warborg, district president of Accountemps, a Robert Half company. “It's an emotionally charged topic that can be polarizing, it can disrupt productivity, and heated discussions could offend others and hinder collaboration in the future."

In general, it should be easy to avoid political discussions. Don’t bring up the subject and walk away when someone else does. However, there may be times when you find yourself caught right in the middle of the debate because your coworkers don’t do the same. When that happens, here are a few tips to avoid a career catastrophe.

First: “Try to approach the conversation in a lighthearted manner,” Warborg said.

Just be careful not to come across as teasing or even humorous, because that can go downhill fast when the joke is not received in the way you intended it.

Sandra Spataro, associate professor of management, believes the key to safely interacting about politics is to be is to be respectful, open and constructive as opposed to denigrating politicians or people who agree with them.

Second: “Do not assume others share your views,” said Spataro, whose research work on status and influence processes in organizations has been published in various management and psychology journals. 

“If you find yourself talking with someone who has different views, and you feel like it can be a constructive conversation, pursue it,” he said. “Maybe you can learn from them. Understanding the opposite view is a great way to clarify your own views. It doesn’t have to be a contest of who is right and who is wrong.

Third: If you are on the receiving end of the offensive conversation, it is perfectly fine to let people know.

“You can say: Actually, I feel differently and assuming I hold the same views as you offends me. Let’s either agree to disagree or maybe talk about something else,” said Spataro, who also advises not to let the disagreement grow to an insurmountable issue.

Finally, consider refraining from constant political statements and discussions on your social media sites. Don’t post, chat, comment, tweet and otherwise share practically every thought and movement you have 24/7. Although you have the freedom to express yourself, exercising that freedom too much could become a threat to your career and you not even realize it.

“Strong stereotypes exist around political party and issue affiliation,” warned Spataro. “Employers might make links – however faulty – between the image of you that your social media site presents and who you would be in the workplace,” she said.

Although it may not be fair that people will do this, the reality is that they do.

“Talking about anything that is as controversial as politics is right now is always something to be careful with,” Spataro said.

By Amy Nielsen

Last week I talked about a school I found that would fill a gap not only in my education, but that also fits a niche in the greater community where I want to work. I called the school and spoke at length to an admissions counselor.

It was an interesting conversation as I tried to get around the sales jargon and to the real meat of the program and what it can do for me. What I learned is that not only is the school a lot less expensive than I thought (SCORE!), it is exactly what I want to learn all rolled up into one nice neat package.

Does it go into as much depth as I would like? No, not initially. This might be a shortcoming to some, but I am taking it as an opportunity to fill in the missing pieces with extracurricular research. As a seasoned learner, I think I have the discipline and skills to find and read the corresponding texts and materials to get the depth of knowledge needed to have a thorough understanding of each topic. I am already planning to create extra work for myself. Great.

I am at an intersection of my life where my personal intestinal fortitude is either going to get me through or not. I don’t have to do this. I don’t have to put myself through the financial, emotional and time stress that this endeavor will take.

However, I know what my personal learning style is and how well I follow through. I also know I am a magpie and I like shiny things and my stick-to-it-ness was often times tested in longer, self-directed projects throughout my past learning career. Which means that without a leader to get me from my current knowledge base to where I really want to go, I will most likely get distracted and stop three quarters of the way through. This is not a criticism of myself, it is an honest assessment.

If you are going to get anywhere with higher education, you have to be brutally honest with yourself about what you will and will not do. I know that I am not a great, solely self-directed learner.

Choosing what I am calling an interim school will help keep me on track and moving forward. Could I get all of the knowledge I am going to get out of this particular school in other places, through texts and other resources? Yes, I most certainly could.

But, that process is infinitely harder to slog through. With someone else telling me which diet to study for the next three weeks and assignments to hand in, I know I am much more likely to follow through and finish the course with the knowledge that I want. Besides, the money I’m slapping down was hard to come by and there is nothing so motivating as putting your money where your mouth is.

Worried that you may have to hang your cap and gown in mom and dad’s closet after you get your college degree this spring? Don’t be, the job market continues to be on the upswing.

“The job outlook for college grads has been improving every year since 2009 and 2016 appears to be no different,” said Steven Rothberg, president and founder of College Recruiter (www.collegerecruiter.com).

Furthermore, 42 percent of the employers who participated in the National Association of Colleges and Employers’ Job Outlook 2016 survey characterized the job market for class of 2016 graduates as very good or excellent. In 2014, only 18 percent of them felt that positive about the job market for graduates.

Despite the positive outlook and a large number of job openings though, declaring your financial independence won’t be a cakewalk. Graduates will have to be strategic and creative.

“There are about 5.5 million jobs open nationwide, according to the (Bureau of Labor Statistics’) Job Opening and Labor Turnover Report, but employers would rather let their vacancy announcements expire than to hire a candidate who cannot prove his or her value,” said Robert Meier, president of Job Market Experts (www.jobmarketexperts.org).

Meier believes the key to proving your worth is effectively using CAR statements whether you are describing your school projects, internships, part-time work, full-time work or military experience.

“In a few compelling sentences, give employers something to be impressed with. Your story should include the (C)hallenges of the job, the (A)ctions you took and the (R)esults of your actions,” he said.

So how do you land an opportunity to tell your story? Networking. But again, be strategic and creative. Don’t just start calling or emailing everyone you know asking for a job.

Instead, put yourself in a position to have jobs come to you.

“Volunteer at a non-profit and get yourself on some committees or boards. The other members will likely be further along in their careers and often are business owners or executives who are looking for ways to give back to their communities,” Rothberg said. “By working shoulder-to-shoulder with them, they’ll get to know you and hopefully will either offer you a job or connect you to someone they know who will offer you a job.”

Also, check with your alumni association and college career center to see what ‘connections’ they may have; establish your own contacts by becoming an active member of a professional organization; and ask people who work in your intended profession for advice and support (not a job!).

So, while this year’s job market may not have you worrying so much about the closet in which you’ll hang your cap and gown, don’t just glide through the job search. Put extra effort into being strategic and creative to find doors that may have plenty of career opportunities behind them.

Well, I didn’t get the job I applied for.

They chose the gal who speaks fluent Spanish over me. I would have made the same decision in hiring if I were in the director’s position. We had a lovely chat about my profound over-qualification for the position I had applied for and where I might be able to volunteer with the program over the next few months.

All around, this experience was positive, even if not in the way I had originally planned.

I want to address something that is crucial to the process and the final success or failure of these life changing endeavors. The people who will have to live with your insanity until you get to a stable point. These people will be your team. I am finding my relationships are changing as I start to work on this project in a more concentrated manner. I have found that three important relationships have solidified themselves.

I now have a very definite mentor, a cheerleader, and of course, the wind beneath my wings. I know I am going to need my team early and often for the ups and downs over the next few years. These people who will listen for the one millionth time about how excited I am about every little new thing I am learning, every lesson, in every subject. And again, six months from now, when I am all tears about how much homework I have and how much I would rather go to the local brew pub for weinerschnitzel than list one more protocol for respiratory illness.

I was chatting with a mom in our homeschool co-op and mentioned, “Geesh, someday I really should just write a book on healthy eating from the herbal and fermented side for singles and couples.”

She piped up with, “Well, why don’t you? I am doing a challenge this year to write 300 words a day. Every day.”

Hmm, well, I can do that, surely 300 words is like half a page, or less. OK, so what is the goal? A manuscript ready to go into first revisions? Sure. And away we went.

We now have a third member of our little writing group. All of us sitting down at some point during the day to blob, not blog - blob, a minimum of 300 words a day. Every. Single. Day.

So, as I sit here writing this at 23:37, in another 23 minutes the counter ticks back and I have to write another 300 words. If I am still writing on this blob in 23 minutes, I will have to continue for another 300 words in tomorrow’s slot, or I can finish this thought and start a new one tomorrow. But, I have to write a minimum of 300 words. Every day.

This wonderful woman, and her silly 300 words, is my mentor. She is always there asking if I wrote yet. Now that I am writing for you wonderful readers too, she is even more excited for our 300 words project.

My cheerleader came in the form of a friend who has asked me to write for her before and the universe got in the way. This time, I had newly started on my journey to go back to school and redefine my life again, when she asked again if I would write about it for this blog. I call her my cheerleader because I am totally new at this whole online blog thing. I read a few, and the thought crossed my mind that a blog might be a good fit for how I want to get my information out, but I have never written one.

I need someone to help me through this new technology and style. I am timid when it comes to doing things right the first time. Her belief in me at the other end of the web from the other side of the planet gives me the confidence to set forth what I write for you all to read. So again, I thank you my readers, for being guinea pigs and helping me prove to myself that this is a viable option for my future.

Do you have a smaller version or related side project that you can dovetail into your schooling to test the waters? Who can help you start that?

The wind beneath my wings, the one and only, my husband. But then - what if you don’t happen to have a conveniently uber supportive live-in best friend who is willing to try any concoction you come up with, read any junk you write? Find one. That person is the one you will call at three in the morning when you are in tears because you just cannot possibly see a way to make this actually work and you are watching your dreams crumble before your very eyes. And, they will make you tea and bring you a blanket and tell you to suck it up. Doesn’t have to be your life partner. I’m lucky that way. But there is one person out there who is as excited as you are about this new you that you are embracing and they want you to succeed with every fiber of their being as much as you want to.

Make it a formal project for yourself to identify your team. Know who you will go to when the going gets tough or when there is an unexpected stumbling block. You may have more team members than I do. I am sure I will find more people who fit in this team for me as I go down this road.

And that beats 300 words.

Do you ever think, you don’t really want a job, you just want to make the world a better place?

There’s an app for that. Actually, an organization that is busy connecting good ideas with the people and organizations that can make them happen.

The Idealist is an organization that is doing good, all over the world. And they want you to help.

The outfit started out as a nonprofit career center of sorts that helped people find ways to work and volunteer in the social sector. Now, they help people volunteer, work and find internships not only helping others, but doing good for animals, plants, the environment, loving everyone, everywhere. The staff group photo on their website looks like they have a heck of a fun time doing it too.

Are you changing careers? Moving toward work in nonprofit or with social justice issues? This should be your first stop.

Looking for a worthy organization to volunteer with? They have thousands of listings around the world, and include not just organizations but events you can help with or attend.

You can even learn more about your fellow do-gooders through the people profile pages at Idealist and link up and share ideas.

Idealist has postings from more than 100,000 organizations and 1.4 million monthly visitors to their site. With that large of an audience, Idealist is certain you can find a place where your best ideas can be put to good use.

Check out Idealist at www.idealist.org