Since I made the decision to postpone graduate school earlier this year, I have been working on updating my resume and beginning my search for part-time work.

I have found the search to be a little more challenging than it used to be. I have a BA in psychology, but I’ve been out of the work force for four years. And in that time I’ve had four different addresses. And currently, we live hours away from any big city and opportunities are few and far between.

But the truth is, even after searching for a job on and off throughout the last few years, I have never applied to a position. I have never truly put myself out there since becoming a stay-at-home mom.

After a little reflection, I have realized it is because I am not only afraid of rejection, but I am not confident in my education or my experience. It is easier to make excuses and rationalize why a position wouldn’t be right for me instead of facing the reality that I may not be qualified. And, for many years, I have used our military life as a crutch to stop myself from making any real decisions about my future career or education plans.

I need to switch gears. I need to be proud of my undergraduate work and of my past work experience. And, I need to be proud of my experience as a military spouse. 

There are services available on base to help spouses create and update their resume, apply to federal jobs and prepare for the interview process. I have been a military spouse for almost eight years and have never taken advantage of this service. Partially because I am a little stubborn and feel like I can do it myself.

But also, I am afraid our military lifestyle will deter a potential employer from hiring me. We often do not know how long we will be in an area. I know this can be difficult for employers.

I have been out of the work force for a long time. I want to utilize this resource on base to make a fresh start and prepare me better in the areas where I am not as confident anymore. Ideally, employment will be the outcome.

But even if I do not find a job in the next few months, gaining a little confidence in myself will make me a better and stronger military wife and mother. I have nothing to lose!

One week, during our last deployment, the dreaded “F” word reared its ugly head:  Finals. 

My (then) three-year-old son was bouncing off the walls. The weather was blizzard-like. I’d subsisted on coffee and string cheese for a week and I still had several papers due that, well … weren’t short. To decompress, I called a friend and fellow military wife and sobbed my story into the phone. 

And then the most beautiful thing happened. Inside an hour, she had picked up my son and taken him to her house and I was sitting at Starbucks, typing along with all of the other extremely studious looking, headphone-wearing kids. 

Over the course of that day, a few things happened. I wrote several papers, drank more coffee than I really should have and was able to recharge my batteries a bit. Not my student batteries, of course, because finals had drained them like a Leap Pad that has been left on under the back seat of the car. My personal batteries, however, now had a lot more energy. Because not only did I get my work done, I got to be alone for a few hours. 

Want to know a dirty little secret? During that deployment, that friend probably saved my GPA and a decent chunk of my sanity.

There are days when I wonder how we do it all. We are students. We are military spouses. We are mothers. We are friends, colleagues, housekeepers, personal chefs and chauffeurs. 

And then there are days that I can barely get my life together enough to brush my teeth and feed the dog. The constant balance of home, school, work and family is a sensitive one. But, there is a crucial key to success: having a support system. 

And if there is anyone who needs a good support system, it’s a military spouse. Build each other up. Reach out. Hold each other close. You will receive as much as you give and it will be good. I promise.  

I love words. 

You might remember that about me. We talked about it last week. 

You might also remember my ridiculous indecision regarding which degree plan to choose.  Follow my heart and pursue writing or follow my head and pick something more practical than a liberal arts degree? 

After a lot of thought, and then some more thought, and a little thought to cap it off, I’ve made a decision … a liberal arts degree it is! 

After serving in the Army and working a series of jobs that centered on customer service, I’ve learned that it is important to listen to that little voice. You know, that nagging little bugger that rings through your brain every time something miserable happens? The one that tells you that your current state of disdain is your own fault? The one that reminds us we are the conductors on the one-way train to happy town? 

Well, choo choo, baby. 

I love writing. I love making people laugh, and I love making people cry. I love thinking, and I love making people think. And I don’t know about you, but I’d rather work hard at all of those things than spend my time wishing I’d followed my dreams. 

Why not just follow my dream to start with? 

I’m a word girl. Always have been. I love books and writing. I’ve always been a fan of the creative arts.  Ever since I took the leap and went back to school to pursue a degree, I’ve aimed my goals toward that point on the academic compass. 

When we PCS’d to a new duty station, I had to transfer schools. I’m not going to lie, it wasn’t the smoothest transition. 

When I began, I elected to take many sophomore level classes as a freshman, such as children’s literature and creative writing. When I transferred, these courses (and many others) were turned into elective credits at my new school. 

Let me say that again, so it really sets in: the beloved books such as Charlotte’s Web and Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian, as well as the personal works of fiction that I had spent a year immersing myself in were labeled as some sort of jaunty romp through nothingness, rather than as legitimate credit toward my English degree. My passion, drive and incredibly hard work had amounted to Underwater Basket Weaving 101 in the eyes of my new college. 

I wanted to weep. 

As a result, I ended up receiving an associate's degree in general studies. I know, how classy and educated does that make me sound? Now, as I’m harvesting my educational chi to, once again, dive into the crashing waves of full course loads and $300 worth of rented textbooks, I find myself questioning my choice of curriculum. 

Do I attempt to return to English and creative writing? On one hand, those are things that I love and cherish, and have the most fun with. Or do I embrace the suck (as it were) and avoid the serious possibility that I will have pigeonholed myself, once again, into scholastic heartache? 

Decisions, decisions.

There are so many things that make us forget the deep sighs of midterms and remind us of the magic of the fall semester - the smell of new pencils, the intensity of new highlighters and the crisp newness of notebooks not yet introduced to the beauty of the written word.

These things allow us a temporary break from the drudgery that comes with the lack of campus parking, the unexpected cancelation of classes and the fact that those new pencils, fresh notebooks and other college must-haves cost half the mortgage payment. 

Such is the metaphor for the balance of adulthood, I suppose. Just like real life, school can be expensive, stressful, and overwhelming - both for our kids and ourselves.

I am constantly staring at the overly energetic youth bouncing all over new classrooms, whether they're eight or eighteen. The first day of school can be a struggle, whether we are tearing up while dropping our five-year-olds off with their first teachers or staring with disbelief at the recent high school graduates that have become our academic peers. 

It takes incredible strength and fortitude to drop a child off and then keep our heads held high as we enter classrooms in which we are likely closer in age to the Ph.D. at the front of the class than we are to the other students.

But at the end of the day, after dinner is eaten and baths taken, we can smile and know that every day we educate our children and that every new semester we are accomplishing something amazing as well.

The summer is super busy for me and my family as I continue to attend school and my kids head to summer camp. 

I organize my summer schedule the same way that I do my fall and spring schedule – completely around my kids and their activities. This summer, however, my husband is scheduled to return from deployment so I need to throw that into the mix as well.

To make room for everything on our daily list, I’ve signed up for morning and early afternoon classes. That way I still have time to enjoy part of the summer with my family without completely wearing myself out.

It’s tough to take classes over the summer since my kids are out of school. But, I want to complete the prerequisites for my nursing program quickly. The only way to do that is to continue hitting the books even while everyone else is taking a break.

I know it’s a sacrifice that we are making as a family, but in the long run, these hard times will pay off. As a military spouse I have an easier time attending classes in the summer than many of my civilian counterparts.

The base has a free summer camp for the kids to attend and the hours fit my schedule. While I’m studying my kids will get to have a great summer and not be cooped up in the house.

If you are considering attending school over the summer start thinking about your schedule in advance. Once you know what classes you’re going to take, map out how you want to spend your summer. Communicate with your family so everyone will know what is happening. 

If you have children, see what camps or activities they can do while you attend class. You can also sign up for an online class instead if there are not childcare options. With a little preparation, you can have a great summer and attend school at the same time.

PCS moves are a hassle. They are even more so when the move happens during a college semester.

During our last move, we were given orders just three months before my husband’s report date. I was in the middle of a semester. Chaos ensued.

Because I was attending a local university and not an online college, I had to quickly begin the process of finding a school in the new location and hope that my classes would transfer. I packed, researched schools, studied and cared for my family all at once – which made for an exhausting three months.

When we arrived at our new duty station I had no internet. Perfect.

I relied on my cell phone to complete homework and to continue researching local colleges.

One of my first stops on base was the Navy College office. The counselor there provided me with more information about the local schools and helped me choose one that was military friendly.

Visiting the counselor was the best step I could have made. I am happy with my choice of school and enjoying my experience there. Unfortunately all of my credits didn’t transfer, but I have already caught up and earned enough to continue forward in my program.    

While I recommend that you try hard to finish your semester before you PCS, it is not always possible. If your PCS comes quick, just try to do as much research as possible and register soon with your new school. That speeds up the process once you arrive and is one less task you are faced with while you unpack.

And, don’t forget to visit the education office on base. The counselors there have all the information you need to know about local schools.

After nine years of service in the Navy, I didn’t know what I wanted to do.

Nursing has always been a career I wanted to try, but I was too afraid to take the first step. My husband is a hospital corpsman in the Navy and brings books home about all sorts of different diseases and treatments. These books fascinate me.

He speaks so passionately about his job. He loves helping people. One night he told me, “You should try nursing. I think you would be great at it.”

So, I took a step. The next week I registered for classes in the medical assistant field. It wasn’t nursing but being a medical assistant taught me a lot about working in the doctor’s office and the basics of the health field.

During my nine months of training I fell in love with the field. I knew this was the career that I wanted.

Love isn’t easy. The school work and the lab assignments are no joke. At times, I had second thoughts about continuing. If it wasn’t for the support and motivation from my husband and my fellow classmates, I don’t know if I would have finished.

The greatest feeling was walking across the stage to receive my diploma. All that hard work paid off. I had earned my degree as a medical assistant. I wanted more.

I decided to become a registered nurse. Now, I’m finishing my first year of prerequisites for my nursing degree.

Yes, it’s hard work. I am up late at night studying and memorizing body parts and medications that I never thought existed. But the end goal is worth it. I look forward to helping another human. That opportunity is priceless to me and I’m happy to do it!

I am one of the oldest students in most of my classes, and it shows. Sometimes, I am out of touch with the latest technology. I don’t know the lingo.

I even look old school. I come to class each day with my backpack and sack lunch. The other students come with laptops and iPads.

Luckily, they don’t mind teaching me. One of my classmates gave me an iPad tutorial and taught me to download applications specifically for our nursing courses.

If your home computer is like mine, and crashes when you need it the most, owning a portable device like the iPad is a lifesaver.

My younger peers also reminded me of an old school study tip: to use the tutors on campus and the library.

Math isn’t one of my strongest subjects and to have a tutor on campus helps me a lot. Now, instead of spending two hours on math, I spend one hour with the tutor. On days that I can’t meet the tutor, I use online tutor websites, such as www.MyMathLab.com.

As much as I feel out of place for being older than most of my classmates, my seniority can also come in handy. Most of my classmates know I am an older student and they help me out if I am struggling. On the flip side, I have something to offer them too. Some of my fellow students have told me that they look to me as motivation to do their best in school. So, if you’re like me and feeling a little self-conscious of your age – remember just because you don’t understand what younger people are saying, doesn’t mean they don’t have something valuable to say. And who knows, by listening to them you may gain their respect and in turn be able to teach them something too.

I didn’t realize how much I am out of the loop until I went back to school. I thought I knew all the latest lingo and styles. Nope. I’m now considered … old.

When I first decided to go back to school to earn my nursing degree I didn’t consider the possibility that I would be one of the oldest people in the class. But I am. And it can be hard and frustrating at times.

While I’m busy taking notes and making sure that my homework is completed on time, I hear laughter behind me, cell phones vibrating and music blaring from someone’s headset. Each is a total distraction.

There was one student in particular who was very difficult. He didn’t care about school and only went because his parents paid his tuition. During class he was very rude and distracting. He often came to class late.

I knew there were people trying to get into this class but they couldn’t because it was full. They were forced to wait until someone dropped out. The teacher never addressed this student’s bad behavior despite complaints from other students in the class. His distractions were affecting everyone’s work.

So I decided to do something. I pulled him to the side and had a little chat with him.

I asked him why he would take a class that he has no desire to learn in. His answer was that he thought it would be an easy A. So I explained to him how his distractions during class not only hurt me but everyone else in the class as well. I suggested that he consider picking a class he is more interested in.

He looked at me, used some vulgar language and walked away. Eventually the teacher did drop him from the class.

Afterwards, I could only think, I hope my children never act like that, in school or any place else.

You would think that college would be exciting and that people will be friendlier. Don’t get me wrong, for the most part it is. But there is a section of the student body that makes it no fun at all.

I have made some friends in college and even though I’m older than most of them, they look up to me. They ask for advice on school and study habits and I learn from them too.

Despite the generation gap, college has been a great experience. It’s never too late to learn!