We know many of you are caring for a spouse who was severely injured in Iraq or Afghanistan.

And the struggle has been long, and hard.

For those who suffer from traumatic brain injury, returning to everyday life may have at first, seemed impossible.

As they improve and progress, the Department of Defense has offered a series of classes for caretakers and family members to help these veterans in their recovery.

This week, they are hosting an event that specifically addresses helping your veteran take the next step toward regaining their everyday life.

On Thursday, Aug. 13 from 1 - 2:30 p.m. EST, the Defense Centers of Excellence for Psychological Health and Traumatic Brain Injury will talk about helping your veteran go to college.

Karen Hux, Ph.D., a professor in the department of special education and communication disorders at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln, will discuss the challenges these students face and ways to overcome them.

This includes discussing:

• Support strategies and accommodations to make note-taking easier
• Ways to maximize reading comprehension
• How to balance educational, social and daily living activities

To register for the webinar, please visit http://dcoe.cds.pesgce.com

Once you register, you will receive an email confirmation and directions on how to log in to the session.

Dude. College is expensive. If you’re anything like me, you’re broke after buying books, pens, paper, binders, backpacks, software, ridiculously expensive calculators … oh yeah, and paying tuition.

I did a little math. Notice that I said “a little”, because I do not do big math. I added up my tuition for eight semesters at a community college: $19,488.96.

Yes, you read that correctly. It cost me just shy of $20k to get an associate’s degree. And that number is for in-state tuition, and after federal student aid (FAFSA) payments. A number this big might deter a lot of people from enrolling in secondary education. Not us, though. Not military spouses. We are strong, we are committed, and we are offered a huge amount of scholarship and grant opportunities.

(Insert record scratch sound here.) Wait, what? Free school money?

Yes! And I bet you’d like to know where that money is, too. Well, you know I love a good list, so here are a few (there are a ton more out there, too!):

• The most effective tool I’ve found (no joke) is Googling the phrase “scholarships for military spouses”. Give it a whirl, and you’re welcome in advance.
• Thanks USA Scholarship Program - Accessible to all dependent children, age 24 and under, and all spouses of Active-Duty U.S. military Service Members are eligible to apply for scholarships.

      www.thanksusa.org/scholarship-program.html

• Army Scholarship Foundation – Twelve, one-year (renewable) financial        scholarships awarded on the basis of academic record and participation in school and community activities.

      www.armyscholarshipfoundation.org/scholarships.html

• The Council of College and Military Educators (CCME) offers $1,000        scholarships each year to United States Service members (active duty/veterans) and spouses of Service members who are working towards the completion of higher education degrees.

      http://www.ccmeonline.org/scholarships

• Bryant & Stratton Salute to Spouses Scholarship – The school, which offers degree programs both online and on traditional campuses around the nation, offers $6,000 scholarships to military spouses.

http://online.bryantstratton.edu/salute/

Federal Programs

• Free Application for Federal Student Aid (FAFSA) - is the application used by       nearly all colleges and universities to determine eligibility for federal, state, and    college-sponsored financial aid, including grants, educational loans, and work-        study programs.

                  https://fafsa.ed.gov 

• Federal Pell Grant Program (U.S. Department of Education) - Provides need-based grants to low-income undergraduate and certain post-baccalaureate students to promote access to postsecondary education. Grants may be used at any one of approximately 5,400 participating postsecondary institutions, and is determined by review of your FAFSA.

      http://www2.ed.gov/programs/fpg/index.html

• Federal Supplemental Educational Opportunity Grant (FSEOG) –

      Provides need-based grants to low-income undergraduate students to promote       access to postsecondary education. Students can receive these grants at any one of         approximately 4,000 participating postsecondary institutions.

      https://www2.ed.gov/programs/fseog/index.html

Like I mentioned previously, these are only a few of the available scholarship and grant opportunities available to military spouses. So crack your knuckles, grab your computer, and start finding some organizations that want to invest in your academic awesomeness!

Once upon a time, a pretty princess really liked to read and write. She liked to write so much that she took every reading and writing college course in the kingdom. In return for all her hard work, the princess was given a degree in English. And she was happy.

That is, she was happy until she remembered that she lives in the Washington, D.C. Metro area, and a degree in English made her about as marketable as a muddy puppy in an Ikea showroom.

So if you haven’t figured it out, I’m changing my major.

Every time I’ve heard someone talk about how they changed their major, they talk about it in a way that makes it sound like a super-smooth transition, like it’s something you can do right after eating your hammy sammy on a lunch break.

But no one ever told me what a gigantic pain it is to transition from the arts to the sciences. So, because I spent a significant amount of time tossing and turning and slamming my head against my keyboard in frustration, I’m going to give you the quick and dirty list of the truths of changing majors halfway through a Bachelor’s degree:

Passion vs. Functionality: 

Deciding to change my major came from a simple, cold truth: I have no idea what I’d do in the arts, but I knew exactly what I would (and could) do in the sciences. I knew that I could read and write as a hobby, and that a degree in the sciences was much more applicable (and lucrative) in the local job market.                                                               

Do the research:

And I mean ALL of the research. Research the job market you want to be in, that is available in your geographic area, what degree plans are available at your school (and if you are an online student, make sure that the program you want is available online). If there are any issues with availability of programs, you’ll have to decide if you want to pick another major or if you’ll need to switch schools (which we will tackle in another post).

Classes (Core, PreReqs, and Electives):

Go through your unofficial transcripts, and see how they line up with the requirements for the major you want to switch to. Often, the core courses are the same (English, math, a few science and lab combos).

Prepare for some extra requirements:

 I’ve found that my work for my AA completed the majority of the requirements to enter my chosen BS program, and that was a huge relief. If you need a few more classes to qualify for entering the program, it is helpful to ask your academic advisor how to proceed. Sometimes there are course equivalent exceptions that can be made, and sometimes you just have to suck it up and take an extra class or classes during your first semester or two in order to catch up.

Don’t get discouraged:

If you’ve really thought it through and changing your major is the best option to accomplish your goals, the information can be incredibly overwhelming. And it’s okay to be overwhelmed. But it’s important to remember that you kick some tail, and that the commitment to do something important (no matter how scary) is an achievement all by itself!

Recently, an editing client I work with called something to my attention. He is writing his thesis for his master’s degree, and … well, really it was his terrible misuse of common words that got me thinking.

Around the fourth page of red-pen hell, I realized that it is fairly common that adults who have returned to academia have forgotten many basic rules of writing. Forgetting those things is fair, to be honest. As adults, we’ve had to make room in our brains for things that are much more important, like our Twitter password and our kids’ birthdays.

So, because my brain works in a way that allows me to remember all of those writing rules but forces me make a really dumb sound every time someone asks me one of my kids’ birthdays, I’m going to give you some quick homonym memory cheat sheet!

They’re: A contraction of they are.

                 This is correct - “They’re going to ace this test.”

                 This is wrong – “That is they’re cat.”

There:    An indication of a location.

                 This is correct - “The ice cream is right there.”

                 This is wrong – “That is there cat.”

Their:     An indication of ownership.

                 This is correct - “That is their cat.”

                 This is wrong – “The car is over their.”

Two:        A number.

                 This is correct - “There are two cats.”

                 This is wrong – “I will go two the store.”

To:            An indication of physical or implied direction (usually).

                 This is correct - “I walked to school.”

                 This is wrong – “There are to wheels on that bicycle.”

Too:         An addition to something, or an indication of something excessive.

                 This is correct - “There are too many cooks."

                 This is wrong – “I want too scoops of ice cream.”

You’re:    A contraction of you are.

                 This is correct - “You’re an awesome golfer.”

                 This is wrong – “You’re feet smell bad.”

Your:      An indication of ownership

                 This is correct - “That is your car.”

                 This is wrong – “Your always bugging me.”

Yore:       A really, really long time ago.

                 This is correct - “Those are from the days of yore.”

                 This is wrong – “Yore burning that toast.”

Now, any time you have a question about which word to use (or if you want to punk people for using your the wrong way in their Facebook post), you have a handy reference!  Hooray! 

Now stop judging my nerd-excitement.

Once upon a time, at a college far, far away, a sophomore princess was learning the finer points of line and color in artistic works. Okay, so the princess was just me, and I was taking Art Appreciation 110. But the sophomore part is totally true.

Anyway, the professor started off the semester with, what seemed like, a pretty decent personality. But then, halfway through the semester, she became a terribly unreasonable individual. Now maybe the pod people took her, or maybe she had something really awful happen in her personal life. Either way, she became the world’s most insane grader.

I only had to take one course with her, so I was willing to overlook it, until she gave me an F on my final paper. Fifty flingin’ percent, people. Would you like to know what, aside from that particular paper, I have never, ever written? An F paper. And did I mention that every assignment I’d completed up until that point (including the rough draft of that very same paper) had been returned with a grade of 100 percent?

Oh, I didn’t? Well, now you’ve received an example of a time that it is completely appropriate to contest an unfair grade. In the event you ever find yourself in a similar position, here are a few steps to follow to make sure that you’re heading down the right path:

1. Go back through any feedback you’ve received and double (even triple) check that you followed every part of the instructions for the assignment. The last thing you want is to make a ruckus about being graded unfairly, only to find out that you didn’t follow the syllabus or rubric. Seriously, because it’ll kill your credibility.
2. Find your school’s policy on contesting grades (usually in the student handbook around where they talk about things like plagiarism), and decide if it is a battle you want to pick. If you don’t, stop here. If you do, read on.
3. Begin the process based on your school’s requirements. This typically involves approaching the subject with the professor in an attempt to solve the problem at the lowest level, or submitting a formal packet to the dean of the department in which you are experiencing issues. Even if you can go directly to the dean of the department, if your teacher is a reasonable person, I suggest meeting with them first.
4. Speaking from experience, prepare a packet defending your work whether or not you are submitting it to a department head. It is better to be over prepared than to show up at a disadvantage. This packet should have your work, the directions for the assignment and any kind of correspondence that has been exchanged between you and your professor.
5. Set an appointment with whomever you are going to speak to, whether it is your professor or the dean of the department. When that appointment time comes, make sure you are on time (or even a bit early) and dressed like someone who deserves a better grade than the one they’ve received.

Tally ho! Now you’re ready to go forth and defend your assignment’s honor! 

If you’ve survived newborn babies and cramming for courses, chances are you’ve pulled a few all-nighters. You know how miserable it feels to drag yourself through waking hours on far too little sleep.

And if you’re like 95 percent of Americans, you’ve experienced insomnia at some point. One in 10 suffers from chronic insomnia, according to Athena Stroud, RPSGT, from the Penrose St. Francis Sleep Disorder Center in Colorado Springs. The CDC considers insufficient sleep to be a public health epidemic.

“People who have problems (sleeping) don’t always know it,” Stroud said. “The only way you know if you’re getting a good night’s sleep is how alert you are during the day, and some people really don’t know how sleepy they really are.”

If your normal pattern of resting and rising isn’t giving your body enough time to recharge, you’ll have problems concentrating. You may even find yourself nodding off behind the wheel. Stroud cited a statistic from NTSA that estimated 100,000 traffic accidents resulting in 1,500 deaths and 71,000 injuries are caused by drowsy drivers every year.

“(Lack of sleep) makes you a less effective driver,” she said. “Of course it’s going to make you a less effective studier.”

For many of us, the hours between 1-3 p.m. can be drowsy ones. Stroud says that’s when our core body temperatures drop slightly just like it does before we go to sleep at night. Stroud recommends you schedule study and other cognitive-dependent activities outside of that window.

“We live in a society where the more you do on less sleep, it’s almost like bragging rights for some people,” she said. “It’d be nice if we could do siestas in the afternoon. It’d be much more helpful and make people more productive.”

Each of us is different, but most adults need about 7.5 hours of sleep per night, she said. To gauge your sleep health, Stroud recommends you pay attention to your sleep inertia, that first 30 minutes after you wake up to full alertness.

“If you don’t feel refreshed (after that first half hour), you probably didn’t get a great night’s sleep,” she said.

And if you find yourself reaching for lots of caffeinated beverages, that’s another sign your sleep may be off even if you’re going down and waking up in roughly eight-hour intervals.

“It’s not all about the hours of sleep, it’s about the quality of sleep,” Stroud said. “If you have some kind of sleep issue going on, it can fragment your sleep giving you poor quality sleep, which basically is sleep deprivation regardless of the hours you spend in bed.”

Common disorders include sleep apnea, restless leg syndrome and insomnia.

“Insomnia is the biggest and most common sleep disorder,” she said. “When you’re juggling what you’re studying and you’re working and you have kids and you’re stressed, stress can bring on insomnia.”

To combat wakeful moments in bed, Stroud suggests you get out of it. Don’t lie there worrying about how much sleep you’re missing and all you have to do. Get up and do a mundane task like loading the dishwasher or folding laundry. Once you’re sleepy, go back to bed. Don’t watch TV or get on the computer – the light from the screen is stimulating rather than sleep-inducing, she said.

“Electronics have caused a lot of insomnia,” Stroud said. “Don’t get up and do your homework.”

She also recommends reserving the bedroom for sleep and sex only.

“You don’t want to be doing your online classes in your room,” Stroud said.” You’ll start to associate that with your work.”

To set the stage for good sleep, keep your room cool and dark. Got to bed and get up at the same time every day – including weekends. If you have trouble relaxing enough to get to sleep, Stroud suggests you keep a note pad by your bed and writing down all the things that worry you. For some, that’s an effective way to set problems aside for the night, she said.  

If you’re still not getting the rest you need, consider a sleep checkup.

“If you’re in bed and you’re sleeping for eight hours and you’re not refreshed, it’s not a bad idea to see your doctor to check for sleep disorder or the potential for one,” Stroud said.

It’s pretty well-known that my life is up for public consumption on my blog. If I have a thought, even an unpopular one, as they may be, my name is attached to it. There’s no doubt. But that’s not always the case.

A few weeks ago, one of my friends here in upstate N.Y. ran into trouble with some cyberbullies. Normally, it’s the kind of situation you’d shake your head at, confront your attackers, and move about your day, wiser about whom you give your time. After all, what were we taught by our parents: stand up to your bullies, right?

But what happens when they’re anonymous? How do you stand up to that?

Thanks to the miracle of social networking, sometimes there’s no way to confront the person tearing you down. There’s a social media page, which even carries the name of our army post, where anyone could send their “confessions,” and have them anonymously posted. Everything from heading out to Walmart in your PJ’s, to scandalous things that would make my Kindle blush can be posted on the page. All you have to do is message them and you’re off to the races. 

Seems harmless, right? Venting your own little secrets? Sure, until people start “anonymously” attacking other people. Slander, accusations, insults, insinuations - they’re all right there, plainly spelled out to who the person is through detail and asterisk-encoded names. Your best friend could verbally attack you and you’d never know it was them, because it’s posted anonymously.

What part of this military “community” do we want to validate?

I’m under no false, naïve belief that by being in the military lifestyle, I share an automatic camaraderie with every other military spouse. In a perfect world, of course we would. But we are all unique individuals who just happened to marry military men. We’re not all going to get along. But, when we allow social media to “anonymously” bully other spouses, or soldiers, going as far as to use this duty station as their name, we’re perpetuating the cycle of bullying. This isn’t “meet me out back behind the playground.” No, those grade-school bullies have grown up, promoted themselves to the internet, and now the consequences are far more reaching than a black eye, or wounded pride. Heck, bullies don’t even have to leave the house now to tear someone to the ground.

By allowing these sites to exist, by “liking” them and reading them, we’re giving the thumbs up to the coward behind the screen who in one key stroke can ruin someone’s business, self-esteem, or even marriage. And it doesn’t even have to be true, just typed. As military spouses, what are we doing? Why are we “liking” this? Why aren’t we the ones standing up for one another and saying, “Enough.”

Believe me, I’m not blameless. No, I don’t “like” these pages, or frequent them, but I certainly did nothing to shut it down when it hurt my friend repeatedly. Why? Because I live a sorta-public life, and one screen-shot can do a lot to my career. So I minded my own business. Out of what? Fear. I wasn’t even being bullied and that page scared me. But then it came for me, and though I shrugged off most of what it said, the bully got their target. They had a good chunk of my head for a few hours. But that was it. Because of my blog and my book, a lot of people know random personal details about our life. That’s a choice we made in our marriage, but the others? They didn’t. But it took me getting personally hit by someone I don’t know, and have likely never spoken to, to make me speak up against it, and that is on me.

We here in upstate N.Y. aren’t the only ones with such ugliness. They’re everywhere, attached to the names of military installations around the country. Apparently these pages are the new way to scratch “call Jenny for a good time,” into the paint for all to see. So what’s the difference? Social media is empowering these bullies and giving them something they didn’t have before – a platform larger than a four stall public restroom.

So this is my platform – my words. And this is our platform as spouses – to say “enough,” unlike the page and walk away. Because as Edmund Burke taught us, the good men who do nothing are all it takes for this behavior to continue. I choose to try to be the good one. I choose to say enough.

Because I attach my name to what I write, and they should too.

Editor’s Note: Salute to Spouses’ writer Samantha Carroll graduated college once - and went back years later to earn a second degree in nursing. Her return to campus was exhausting, thrilling and worth every moment. Please enjoy her personal story about going back to school and starting a brand new career.

Four years ago when I went back to school, I hurried to class, like many students each morning. But instead of rolling out of bed to get there in the nick of time after a long night of either studying or being with friends, I packed a diaper bag and left early in order to get my toddler to the babysitter’s on time. When I settled into my classroom, I reached into my shiny new book bag to retrieve my class materials and I discovered a Dora the Explorer doll and a random pacifier amongst my pens and folders. At age 34, I sat in a Psychology 101 class with students who were ten years younger than me and who were in college for the first time.

After eleven years of sales and marketing work, where I loosely used my journalism degree, I was bitten by the “nursing bug” and decided to return to school for a degree in nursing. That decision was easy. As the wife of a soldier, with a baby, maneuvering the decision to stop working full-time to return to class was the tricky part. Then, a move to Savannah and my husband’s very first deployment lit the proverbial fire underneath me and I learned to register for classes online, which I didn’t have to do the first time. I quickly became used to being an older, non-traditional student, as there were quite a few “second timers” like me, especially in the nursing program.

My husband was either deployed or away training for over half of my second college career. I credit Army family childcare, pre-school and my dear friends for helping me during my quasi-single parenting days, so that I could not only go to class but also study. I am not a person who can stay up late and do schoolwork once everyone is in bed. I never have been and I certainly applaud those who can do it. Once my daughter began kindergarten, I was in the home stretch. In addition to regular class time, tests and projects, I  had clinical time in the hospital that required me to leave my house before the crack of dawn, and once again, when my husband was away, my friends were nice enough to accept an additional kid at 5:45 a.m. to dress and drive to school along with their own children.

During my time in school, I was fortunate enough to not have to work. I had quite a few classmates who not only worked almost full-time but had families too. Again, my hat goes off to these amazing people. Right before my final year of nursing school, however, I acquired a part-time job at one of the local hospitals. The title was Student Patient Care Technician and I was hired based on having completed a minimal amount of nursing courses and the fact that I was still enrolled in a nursing program. The job consisted of entry level, non-licensed patient care like: bed baths, checking vital signs, changing beds and helping feed patients if necessary. It was a very flexible schedule. So flexible, I could choose my own hours and work as much or as little as I wanted. There were a minimal amount of shifts to work in a given time period, so I only worked the minimum. I took this position not only to better familiarize myself with the clinical setting but also to use as a networking tool. This particular hospital is always hiring new nursing graduates and the more areas I could work in, and the more people I could meet, the better the job prospects.

One day, about three months before graduation, I was assigned to work in the Orthopedic Trauma unit. It was extremely busy and the staff were all very nice and helpful and I felt an instant synergy with them. At my shift’s end, they asked me to come back the next time I worked, and when it came time for my final semester of nursing school when we chose an area to work with for ten shifts with a nurse preceptor, to my delight, I was able to do my clinical hours in that unit. Not long into my program, the nurse manager asked if I was interested in receiving an early job offer. Of course I was and I accepted. I later found out that my work as a student tech was what inspired that early offer.

After graduation, and two grueling weeks of studying for the NCLEX (National Council Licensure Exam,) I passed and began my nurse residency program. I had not worked full-time in a while and the first two weeks was harder to get used to than I thought. I was exhausted at the end of each day. But, in that program, I was surrounded by 87 newly licensed nurses just like me. It was great to be go through the information overload and anticipation of what’s to come with others. I’ve recently begun my 12-hour shifts with a nurse preceptor and I got the night shift rotation first. Since I’m not a night person, this has proven to be particularly challenging for me and I’m certainly glad it’s only for four weeks. And, big surprise, my husband is out of town for a month.

 My personality type somehow thrives upon challenge. I am, after all, an Army wife. It’s funny, I never set out to be an orthopedic nurse. I was content letting my nurse specialty find me once I knew I wanted to set out on this journey. In spite of the kid drop offs, diapers and books, the stress of simultaneously studying for tests and preparing for deployments and homecomings, I feel as though I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be. And when I think back to the afternoons when I opened my psychology book and found a Dora flashcard on page 163, and even now when I’m exhausted but have to make myself sleep during the day and my daughter is with a friend and my husband is on the other side of the country, I stop and ask myself, “Was it all worth it?”

You bet it was!

So … you’ve started higher education.

Sigh.

There are a few things that get me a little down about starting round two of college: buying books, online discussion boards and having to find the academic momentum that once came so, so very easily. Okay, it didn’t come very easily. But it sure feels harder now.

Sometimes, though, we have to find a silver lining - even if we have to put it there ourselves with a glittery paint pen. So here is some silver lining material that we can totally share:

1.  The core requirements are mostly finished. That’s right, let it sink in. I’ll even say it again, because it totally bears repeating: BS 101 level math and composition are finished. Now, instead of researching simply for the sake of proving that we can, we get to put all of that knowledge into papers that we actually give a crap about! 

2.  The level of intelligence in general academic discussion increases. Sure, there will always         be that guy who mouth breathes all over his blank notepad or the 19-year-old girl who is more concerned with the state of her gel mani than the lecture. But that’s okay. Why is it okay, you ask? It’s okay because the majority of the other students will be doing exactly what we are doing. We are taking in as much functional knowledge as we can get our hands on!

3.   The teachers care now. They are, in all likelihood, teaching something they enjoy. They are also glad to be imparting specific knowledge to people who also care about that very same type of knowledge! It’s awesome to learn from someone who is passionate about what they are teaching. I promise. Will there still be a professor or two who have entered the tenure coma zone? Of course. However, the number of instructors who care about teaching in their field far outweighs the Ben Steins of the institution.

So we’re in it - Hunter S. Thompson style, ‘Gonna need golf shoes to get through this muck’ in it.

But hey, at least it’s interesting muck.

Being a student is full-time work. It is not gritty or grimy, but it certainly is grueling and intense. I don’t know about you, but there are times that I feel resentful. We pay a huge amount of money to work so hard. Although it isn’t harmful to wallow for a bit, eventually . . . well, if we’re not part of the solution, we’re part of the problem, right? 

So what can we do to bring in a little dough to offset these mounting college expenses? 

We have talked about selling back textbooks, which can be a huge help. Unfortunately, that opportunity comes only at the end of the semester. Otherwise, we wouldn’t have to buy the darn things in the first place! 

I’ve found two options that have been beneficial to me, both monetarily and academically.

First, is tutoring. I’m not necessarily talking about peers, or even people slightly below my academic level. I’m talking about kids. Many parents are in search of people capable of connecting with and teaching their child. These students may struggle in subject that the parents are comfortable teaching or do not have time to give the child the daily, one-on-one attention. Or, the student may simply need a fresh approach to a subject with someone other than mom and dad. 

Not sure how to start? Go to the website, www.WyzAnt.com. You can set up a profile, set your hourly rate and cancellation policy. There are short quizzes to confirm your knowledge in the areas you list as strengths and parents have the ability to purchase a background check on you. While the background check may seem a bit intense, simply giving parents that option provides them with some security. To my knowledge, no one has ever used the option, but I’m willing to bet that they are glad it is there. 

When using a service like WyzAnt, read the terms thoroughly, as the site owners will often take a large percentage of your hourly rate as payment for the use of their service.

The other option that has been beneficial to me is offering services as a freelance editor for students. As people enter various graduate fields, they often have to complete thesis papers or capstone projects, for which editing is a necessity. A contract can be written up or purchased, and rates can be set by either mutual agreement, or using a resource like the Editorial Freelancers Association. 

Neither of these things build a customer base or a pile of money overnight, but they are also not elusive, and are worth looking into. At the end of the day, these things are not a replacement for a full-time job. They will, however, pick up the tab for lunch or a mani once in a while. And let’s be real, who needs a manicure more than someone who stares at their typing hands for hours on end?