All I wanted to do was give the guy money. I had a bill to pay. I wanted to pay it. But I had to prove it was my account first. So, I gave the telephone operator my name, address and account number.

I couldn’t, however, verify the phone number they had on file for me. After seven moves and probably even more cell phones, I had no idea what phone number this credit card, who I had been doing business with for 12 years, might possibly have listed under my name.

No number, no payment. Seriously.

Welcome to the list of annoying problems that only military spouses, and maybe perhaps random, wandering nomads, experience.

1. You have no idea who has what phone number listed for you. I gave the guy mentioned above six different phone numbers from four states. No luck. Now, I have to wait for his official form to arrive in the mail so that I can correct it and actually pay my bill. Here’s to hoping he’s going to send it to the address I gave him and not something listed from 2008.
2. After a PCS move, on the first day of school, you sit down to fill out your kids’ paperwork. The line that reads, “emergency contact” makes you break into a cold sweat. And they want three names and numbers! You quickly decide that you can, in fact, list your best friend who is still stationed 2,000 miles away. It never specifically says they have to show up, just be contacted, right?
3. No, your social security number. Wait, you want mine? I can rattle off my husband’s social security number without issue but after retirement, suddenly mine became of importance. I looked at the clerk with a blank stare for a few seconds as I tried to comprehend her question and recall whether or not I even had one of those.
4. Long distance relationships. And I’m not even talking about keeping the spark alive while your spouse is deployed. Most likely all your closest friends live several thousand miles away. Your only option for years at a time is to communicate online and via phone. And frankly, this stinks. Sometimes a girl just wants to sit around with her closest girlfriends. It’s hard to do when they are all scattered across the globe.
5. When your spouse leaves the military and enters the civilian world, you are no longer important at his workplace. There are no spouse meetings. No one is interested in meeting you or keeping you and your family involved. You may never even meet his boss and certainly will never set eyes the guy’s spouse. Trust me, this is a blessing and a curse.
6. It’s time to find a job. You’ve got the skills. You’ve got the incredible resume. You have references, but not necessarily their contact info. In the military community you move every three years and most likely, so do most of your references. Of course, you don’t consider this until you are in the interview, filling out that form and realize that your boss two years ago who offered a glowing review for you anywhere, anytime, moved since then. Twice. Sigh.

So, next time you find yourself caught in a spouse-only conundrum, don’t worry. Just remember, the benefits always outweigh the minor inconveniences. Besides, you can put us down as the emergency contact. We just have to answer the phone, right?