Salute to Spouses Blog

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Lessons Learned from Military Wifehood

I was young when I married my soldier, a week before my 23nd birthday. I would also say that I was confident, positive, energetic, and just a little clueless. I loved life and couldn’t wait to grab it by the horns.

Not much has changed about me since then, or at least I like to think. But there are a few important lessons I learned along the way that helped me build on who I was and become who I am.

The ten most important lessons I’ve learned as a military spouse, in no particular order:

10. Command hooks are your friend – Those little suckers can be used to hold everything from curtains to coats to toilet paper. Military housing, rental properties or even a home you own is always only temporary. No need to muck up the walls when these little miracles of engineering exist.

9. Good manners and a smile go a long way – Or, as I also like to say, kill them with kindness. There is no point in being rude to the lady at the housing office, or getting into an argument with your neighbor. It takes much more energy to be negative than it does to be positive, and life is so much better when seen through a positive attitude.

8. There really is an exception to every rule – Seriously. Even military regulations. You just have to find that one person in the office/command/team who is willing to make things happen. For an even better chance of making this happen, see #9.

7. What kind of house you live in doesn’t really matter - Neither does what kind of car you drive, or what kind of clothes you wear. No one is looking at you, or judging you, or talking about you. Well, maybe occasionally they are, but who cares?

6. Stuff is just stuff – Again, seriously. We all have a few sentimental objects that we would be sad to lose, but overall furniture and dishes and tchotchkes are just things. They don’t really matter. Don’t buy things that are so expensive or hold so much “power” over you that you would be devastated if they were lost or broken. And don’t hate the movers. For the most part, they do their best.

5. My husband is awesome – He really is. He is my hero. And whether your spouse is a seasoned war veteran brand new PFC, they are awesome, too.

4. Tomorrow is another day – Whatever mistakes were made today, whatever harsh words were spoken, whatever mishaps occurred … the sun will come up tomorrow and we can start all over.

3. Don’t talk politics – We all have our opinions, but a hail and farewell or happy hour on the patio is not the place to share them.

2. It’s OK to ask for help – Chances are there are people all around ready and willing to help. It’s a hard lesson learned, but asking for help is not a sign of weakness. It just means you are strong enough to know when to call in back up.

1.Count to three – Before you speak, before you react, before you complain. About anything or to anyone.

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