I must admit, I feel a little guilty starting this whole blogging thing, especially writing about my “domestic deployment”.

For the last five years all we have known is deployments, working up for deployments or training for them.  Currently, my husband is going through a 10-month-long career level school. Everyone says its great family time. Don’t get me wrong, he works his normal long hours and has hours of homework, reading and term paper writing each night and on the weekend. But regardless of the long hours, he’s still home.

I absolutely love having more family time, especially while the boys are so young.  But part of me feels guilty and I was not prepared for those emotions.  

Originally, he was supposed to be deploying right now.  I see some of our friends on Facebook post “see you later” pictures as they send their loved one off. It breaks my heart. I know that as much as my husband loves being with us, a part of him also wishes he was leading his Marines into the deployment.

There are still troops overseas fighting, families separated and sacrificing.  My Marine joined for a reason and I know he struggles to balance being there for both his Marines and family.

I recently spoke with a friend from high school who is also a Marine Corps family.  Her husband is currently deployed while she is at home with their three boys. I admitted to her the guilt I feel when I complain about my day knowing what she was going through.

Without hesitation, she reminded me how precious this time together is and to take advantage of it. 

I know our deployment time will come again and one day my boys will have to learn what its like to say, “see you later” to their daddy for a 7-months or longer deployment.

These breaks in the deployment cycle do not come around often and it’s easy to get caught up in day-to-day routines - complaining about the laundry, budget and the messes my husband and boys make.  But while my husband was deployed, I would have traded anything in the world to have the messes, the extra laundry – to have him home.

I have our homecoming pictures of him meeting our son for the first time hanging on the wall, but maybe I need to hang even more of these photos to remind myself how quickly things change in military life.

Nothing is ever for certain. My husband may be home today but he could easily be gone when this school is over. I need to focus more on making family memories instead of keeping a clean house.

Don’t be alarmed though, I’m not going to go all crazy and end up on hoarders. But if the dishes don’t get washed or the laundry isn’t done for a day, I think we will survive.

Watching my husband with our boys, and having this time together is a gift. I will not take that for granted.