By Amy Nielsen

So this is the week.

This is the week I go live with my first class offerings. I have finished writing it all out and posted the description on my page to advertise for my first class. I am in active negotiations for a space to hold my first class. I cannot believe it. It’s here!

I can honestly say I am slightly terrified, and probably not for the reasons you think I would be. I am terrified that I will actually have people interested in taking this class. That I will have to stand up and know that I will make mistakes and that that will be embarrassing.

How I handle that will be the key to how successful this business becomes for me. I have honed the tools I need to succeed.

I could be worried that no one will want to take my class. That no one will want to listen to something I think is really neat and important. I could be worried that what I have to teach is misinformation somehow; or that my teachings are disingenuous because I am young in my studies, that I am not a master.

But, there in is the point. In this line of work – I am a Culinary Herbalist and Energy Worker – by opening my practice to teaching others, I am opening myself to greater learning. So, by choosing to teach my level of knowledge to those around me on this path, I learn more about my personal practice. The old adage of see one, do one, teach one works in all endeavors.

I am at the halfway point in my Nutrition studies and have received my certificate to student teach. So my school has confidence in the amount of knowledge I have be subjected to that, in their opinion, they have given me the tools to begin successfully. Ok, I can stand on that. I do know in my heart, that I do know the material I have learned so far. I have been talking it about it to just about everyone I know. Some, ad infinitum, sorry.

I am two-thirds of the way through my herbal studies. I have been working steadily on my formulas and material medica. I have a compliment of herbs I can go to with ease and know for a fact they will work as I intend them to. I have had repeat clients for my remedies because they work. I can stand on that.

I am working through several related books and online classes to farther my knowledge base. I have one class lined up to start next month and another to start in March. I am beginning to work on several documents that bring all of this learning together into what I hope is a cohesive teachable practice with several classes to offer. I can stand on that.

I began this journey a year and a half ago starting my herbal studies in the living room of a dear friend who has turned mentor for me. At that point I envisioned myself as a family herbalist making home remedies for family and friends, generally effecting only my own personal circle of health. I was at the same time trying to figure out where to go from here. Here being in need of a new identity since leaving my most recent identity as Navy Spouse for Retiree Navy Spouse.

It is not an easy thing to be a relatively young, mid 40’s, retiree spouse. Especially if you have young children. In my case, children much younger than those women usually have in my age bracket.  We cannot afford to be stay at home moms, but we also often times do not have marketable, current skills. I have a BA, and a post graduate degree, both in fields I am no longer current in and would be hopelessly outdated in. However, I do have a brain and I did not spend my military spouse career sitting on my tail.

I challenged myself at the start of this year to figure out who I am, what I do and how I do it. Not from a career or job focus, but as a human being.  I wanted to find my real identity.

What I discovered is that I have been very good at taking on everyone else’s identity. And that is ok. I am a chameleon, a rainbow, a multifaceted gem. It’s ok to have had four major careers in my life and to be launching a fifth. I have been a lighting designer, a chef, an Intake and adoptions manager at an animal shelter, and a mentor for a peer to peer Navy Spouses support organization. Not to mention a mom. What I understand now is that all of those have a singular theme of flow.

I took that teaching from 2015 and applied it to 2016. The outcome was astonishing to me. I never in a million years thought I would find myself tying together all of those seemingly totally unrelated fields into this new field. But it really does make sense.

Lighting Design is about illuminating the human condition, literally. It is about energy flow and supporting the scene with the most visceral element in the theater tool kit. Lighting design is not about light but about shadow, what don’t you light, what do you leave in the dark? A good lighting designer is never an afterthought in a good director’s team.

A chef, well, food, fire, flow. It is everything. When you are in the heat of the kitchen in the middle of rocking a service there is nothing but zen flow. An angry chef never produces nourishing food. A passionate chef’s food will make you feel like you have sunshine in your belly and clouds at your feet, even if it is a simple grilled cheese sandwich.

If animal rescue work doesn’t teach you compassion for humanity, absolutely nothing will. In that line of work you see some of the best the human kind can offer and you see the depths to which humans are able to sink into. Both deserve utmost compassion and generosity of spirit. And if you don’t have it, you either find it within your passion or you burn out very fast.

Mentoring Navy Spouses taught me hierarchy and structure, rules and regulations. It can be seen as binding, but if you have the right frame of mind, it can be perfectly liberating. Within structure there is latitude and within order there can be chaos.

These four very different careers have all taught me exactly the lessons I need to be successful in this new piece. I know I can work well in a team and bring a fully crafted, well thought out, illuminating piece of knowledge to the party. I know that I can take the heat and be in the fire with the flow swirling around me and be grounded in my focus of my piece of the meal and know that it is good. And I know that I can share in great joy and great sorrow and hold compassion for all. Boundaries within structure can bring great space for deep work. I can do all of these things because they are who I am. And because of that, no matter what I do now, I will be successful.

So bring it on! I want to teach!