Yesterday was awful. From start to finish, it was just awful.
I heard screaming coming from upstairs. Since it was bedtime, screaming is a "no go at this station."
Sweet girl came pounding downstairs in tears.“He pulled my hair,” was the tearful battle cry.
When I got to the bottom of the argument, sweet girl had taken a piece of leather cording that was special to the older sweet boy. Sounds silly, right? Well, this particular piece of cording held an arrowhead that was made at Dad and Cub Scout Camp two years ago when we lived in Louisiana. The arrowhead has disappeared, but the cord remains; the link to a weekend that older sweet boy will not soon forget.
Sweet girl took the cord, knowing it was her brother's, and uttered the phrase that has haunted siblings for generations: "Finders, keepers. Losers, weepers."
Everyone was punished and sent back to their "corners." As I turned to walk down the stairs, I heard sobbing. My friends, this was the ugly cry. I walked into my oldest, sweet boy's room to find him in his bed weeping.
“Okay, sweet boy. What’s the matter?”
“I {gasp} just miss {gurgle} Dad so much {sob sob sob}.”
Oh my goodness! My heart just broke. I read somewhere that tears are not a sign of weakness; they are a sign of having been strong too long.
So I am faced with a teaching moment. Ugh! Some days it is not so much fun being the mommy! We talked about some of our favorite things that oldest, sweet boy has done with dad. We talked about how much dad misses oldest, sweet boy. We talked about things that we can tell dad the next time he calls. We hugged and calmed down and finally, sleep was achieved!
I chose the song American Honey, because it talks about going back to a time when things were fun and easy. There are many days that I wish I could go back to that country road where I grew up.
Sometimes I really do wish I didn't have to explain to my children why their dad can't be here at the very moment when they need him, but I have to believe that I am right where I am supposed to be for a very particular reason. I am their mom in this place for a very particular reason.
I have extremely resilient children. I couldn't be prouder of that, but I would like to leave you with a thought to ponder.
The argument over a piece of leather cording is never just about the leather cording. Set your own emotions aside and do your best to drill down to find out what is really happening.
Friends, you are all in your spots for a particular reason too. Take advantage of the teaching moments and show your children, friends or whomever how to channel their feelings productively.
Hang in there, friends! We are almost there!
I am now officially counting down! Five months to go and even less until R&R!
Strength and Courage ... sby
