Salute to Spouses Blog

We're excited to be blogging about the latest topics in military life. We want to keep you informed on topics such as current events, education, career advice, etc. Feel free to post comments or questions to any of our entries.
Commissary Chaos

Aisle after aisle my husband stopped to chit chat with co-workers he hadn't seen in months, some of them years.

Their first glance of me, ever, was of me chasing our toddler up and down the aisles as I tried to catch Danimal yogurts that our other toddler was throwing out of the cart at people. Behind me, my two oldest children were in a screaming argument over what kind of cereal to buy while my 6-year-old was tossing box upon box of sugary snacks into the basket because frankly, no one could yell loud enough for him to hear us say, "Stop."

The entire aisle stopped to snicker, laugh and stare when my husband finally dropped the 6-year-old for push-ups as punishment for his antics. And from behind a stack of toilet paper I heard my neighbor screech, "Oh my God Allison, do you want me to take one of them for you?"

Yep, we may move every three years, lose touch with friends and live a continent away from our nearest and dearest. But, there is nothing to make you feel like you live in the smallest town in the world than trying to shop at the commissary, on pay day, with your entire family in tow.

And if your children are at their worst, everyone you have ever met will be there. I promise.

Tonight, we were the crazy family on aisle seven. With five children, including two who were struggling to keep their tears in check as it was very much past their 7:30 bedtime, three overflowing carts, two pre-teens and an ornery first grader I had a feeling people were taking their time lingering over the dishwashing soap. They were there to watch my mental breakdown in slow motion.

My three-year old got loose and ran up and down the aisles, the wind in her hair, her princess dress flapping behind her as passersby exclaimed, "So cute!" She left me in the dust and I eventually had to yell ahead for a woman in line to grab her. Not my best moment but, hey, she didn't make it past the registers and out the door.

My two-year-old began sobbing by the time we reached the cat food and launched her yogurt assault as we tried to hustle to the checkout. I managed to catch all the would be missiles but I'm pretty sure the splattered bottle of ranch on the bread aisle was our fault. Casualty of war, my friend.

My husband chit chatted as if the outlandish chaos unfolding around him wasn't happening. It wasn't until I hollered at our oldest daughter as she scurried to the bathroom after announcing loudly that she had waited too long and she's pretty sure she had diarrhea. I yelled out, "Try not to pee yourself" and he finally looked over the rim of his rose colored glasses. It was official, we were in commissary shopping hell.

And everyone I know saw it.

With each aisle, a new outburst from my exhausted kids and a new witness to the insanity. I recognized faces from Cub Scouts, Girl Scouts, church and my husband's office. People I didn't recognize knew who I was and I'm pretty sure they'll never forget me again.

I whispered to a woman nearby that if I suddenly went missing they should start their search at the liquor store across the parking lot. I'm not sure she thought I was kidding.

By the time we swiped the last item across the scanner, employees manned the doors to lock them behind us (yes, we were there that late) and we were done. My husband tried to buy us some good karma by tipping the bagger $10 and it may have worked. Two of the five were asleep by the time we reached our driveway and not a one of them gave us a fight heading to bed.

So next week when school starts and I begin running into those who witnessed our commissary breakdown there's no way I can deny it. It is what it is: five tired, cranky kids dragged to a grocery store on a busy payday night. And I'm pretty sure at some point it will happen again.

But next time, I may just take my neighbor, and any other friend who happens upon us, up on their offer to help.  Five kids dispatched across the store for free babysitting? We may just move to the head of every line.

$6,000 SCHOLARSHIP
For Military Spouses
Apply for the Salute to Spouses scholarship today and begin your education! You’ll be on the way to your dream career.
BLOG CATEGORIES
MONTHLY ARCHIVES

Salute to Spouses Scholarship Recipients

© 2013 SALUTE TO SPOUSES ALL RIGHTS RESERVED