By Amy Nielsen

I saw a meme yesterday, in the middle of a space cadet moment, while writing this blog.

It said: “I love planners, highlighters, giant calendars, nice ball point pens, to do lists, and anything else that gives me the illusion that I am getting my [stuff] together.”

Some days, those memes get it just right.

Now that I have been through the ringer, and have had the proverbial kick in the pants, I need to figure out exactly what I want to do with myself. I have been making lists of what I loved about working away from home, and what I love about being home.

And, what I really don’t like about both.

One of my professors recently gave a lecture about the benefits of writing daily. I have tried this practice from several different points: morning Pages, 300 words a Day, journaling, guided writing and free associations. I always find myself falling off the wagon. I stop. Something gets in the way of my taking the time to write. But I always spend an hour or so in the morning, usually on Pinterest, or on my lists. So, I have come to understand that this is how I chose to do my daily processing. And that it is ok to have a different process than someone else.

I am a list maker. I use them to help me remember things but also to organize and reorganize my thoughts. Of course I have the regular grocery shopping list, daily to do list, long term to do list, Honey Do list, and many others. But these are not the kind of lists I am working on now. The ones I am working on now are more like spreadsheets. They are thought process catalogs. A way to see the branches of the tree I could be part of. I have so many options I need to see them all out at once.

There are many different forms a list can take. If you are a visual learner you might work on a set of lists that look more like ven diagrams or neat bullet pointed graphic masterpieces. If you learn better by listening, set reminders for yourself in your phone to complete certain tasks.

Some of my lists I have to write by hand or I don’t process what is on them. Some I can do on the computer or in my phone and be just fine. Some lists come to me in other places, like books on the shelf. Lists can be about juxtaposition and opposites, just as much as they can be about likes.

I particularly like a site called Pinterest for creating lists. Oh yes, that Pinterest. The hours of your life sucking, gee Nancy that looks easy -FAIL, Pinterest.

But let’s be clear what it really is. It is a visual list board. And I use it as such to help me with the visual side of my lists. It is a brilliant place for someone like me to keep stuff. Like every one of you, I have about 300 different boards and well over 5,000 pins. Followers? Not my thing. I know I have them, but I use it for me, not for you.

I like that I can see all of my pins chronologically so I can see the progression of my thought pattern. Unless I find out that something I pinned was either plagiarized, copyright infringed, or just plain wrong, I never unpin something.

Lists for me are also chronological. They help me order things in time as well as in categories. To that end I have one main calendar in the kitchen we use as a family. It is always the same one. Same layout, color scheme, and same SKU from the big box office supply store.

Everyone in the family knows, if it is not on that calendar it doesn’t exist. With all of the changes we have had over the last two months, that poor calendar is a right ole mess. My “need to move on and see what is happening now” self is screaming to go buy a new calendar so it will be clean.

There is a part of me that says, we always keep the same calendar every year, all year, no matter how crazy. In fact, they go in the year-end financial box when we change over in December, so why change it now? I should keep a record of this chaos like I always do. Just because it is my chaos, not Navy chaos, is no different. Besides, in September when the page flips, I won’t see it anymore.

While all of this thinking time is good, the clock keeps moving on and I do need to make sure I do not become stuck in this moment, in the processing. There is, and will be, a fine line and I think a defining moment when it will be time to stop listing and start doing.

I have set up several meetings with people who I have identified as having interesting ideas and possible input from a third party review. I have a concrete timeline for when I want to be starting the real business process. I have personal and financial goals for the immediate and near future. But first, I need to take the time to dream and percolate what direction I really want to go in since there are so many options out there for me now.